Shadows Are Supposed to Stay Sleeping
by HosekiDragon
Summary: Raz has always been known as a "hero figure" among psychics; the boy who saves the day. But when it comes to his own mental status...does Raz have what it takes to save himself?
1. There Never Was A Spark

I have to give thanks to DigitalDreamer. Because of the comment left on my Psychonaut one-shot, I had enough confidence to start writing this fan fiction idea I've had for a while but never went through with. Thank you, Digitaldreamer!

**NOTICE! VERY IMPORTANT!** _**This chapter starts the same as the one that was posted before but it is not completely the same! Please read all the way through!**_

**One: There Never Was a Spark**

He stood there and listened; listened to the sounds of the roaring crowd and the Ringmaster's voice. And waited. He breathed in and out slowly, deeply, like he was asleep but those green eyes were open and starring at the curtain, waiting.

He'd done this countless times before so why was he so nervous? Ah, yes. That was why. **They** were here. Somewhere out in that audience, **they** were sitting there, waiting for him to appear. A little bit of him regretted ever inviting them but…oh well.

Oh, there was the cue! He pushed his way through the curtain after his father, swiveled around, and back-flipped to the center of the stage where he stood on his hands for a while before twisting himself onto his feet and raising his hands into the air with a grin. The audience roared and cheered. His eyes darted among the faces in the crowd, watching for them but he didn't see them.

And then he was dashing towards a ladder at the other end of the stage with the rest of the acrobats, waiting until they'd scrambled up it first before he climbed it to the platform as well. It was a simple, slightly childish act, one he'd done plenty of times and could do again no sweat but it was the routine his father had created and he wasn't the one who got to argue against it.

As the trapeze came swinging towards him, he gave a flying leap off the platform, soaring through the air for a few moments before his hands closed around the bar and he was swinging through the air, legs dangling as he went back and forth, back and forth. Someone grabbed his ankles; his little brother, no doubt; and he flung himself forward, towards the other acrobat, kicking his legs out as he did so. He saw the thin frame of his brother spin through the air before grabbing the ankles of a close cousin.

Then it was his turn to fly off the trapeze. He kicked his legs out again, let go of the bar, and curled himself into a ball, somersaulting across to another swinging bar. He caught it, and let go, spinning through the air again. He continued this all the way above the stage until he'd landed on the platform on the other side where he threw up his arms again with a fake grin plastered on his face. So easy.

With a sigh, he slid down the ladder and stepped up beside his father, who was holding a bunch of flaming sticks, ready to juggle them. His dad smiled at him and he gave a weak smirk in return. A stage hand bounced a large, neon green ball to him and he caught it with a snort of disgust; why was he always the one on the ball?

And then the music started playing again and he leapt onto it; no point in arguing about it now. He'd complain after the show as he usually did. He tried a few rounds of rolling the ball in circles while balancing on it to find his center of gravity and then flipped onto his hands, going around and around with his feet in the air. Feeling a little audacious, he took one hand off the ball and balanced on it with a cocky grin. His father shot him a warning look between the flaming sticks and he dropped onto his stomach on the green ball, losing his grin as he did so.

Fine, then he'd stand on one foot. No harm in that. He rotated himself back onto his feet and pulled up a leg until his knee was almost touching his chin. Then he put his arms out and started pin-wheeling them like he was going to fall. Another warning glare. Gosh darn it; this was a circus for pities sake! He was supposed to do daring things and make people go 'ooohhh' and 'aahhhh' and all that stuff…!

Now pouting, he jumped off the ball, stuck his foot under it, and kicked it into the air. This was the thing he was supposed to do after he'd balanced on it. Before it came down, he lay down on his back on the wooden stage and stuck his feet in the air again. The ball hit them and he started rotating his legs like he was pedaling an invisible bike, the neon orb spinning around and around and around on the soles of his feet. His little brother had been waiting most impatiently for this and jumped onto the spinning ball before judging the timing, almost flying off it to do a face plant into the floor. Lucky for him, he didn't and he proceeded to run atop it as his older brother spun it from below.

And then it was over and he was slamming the ball into the stage floor so that it bounced brutally fast and high towards the stage hand. He took his bow and dashed off stage towards the gypsy caravan that was his home. Once there, he jumped onto his bed, crossed his arms and legs, and glared at the door. It opened and he began to shout at his father but it wasn't his father who walked through the door.

"Lili…?" He muttered, a little embarrassed that she'd caught him fuming, pouting on his bed, still in his acrobat outfit, "You…really came…!"

"Of course!" She rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Sasha and Milla came too but they're out buying souvenirs. Actually, it's more like Milla dragged Sasha along to buy souvenirs."

"Heh, yeah…" He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling his cheeks get warm, "Look, sorry I didn't write back last time and I-."

"Shut up." She snapped, "I…I don't…care."

They looked anywhere but at one another.

It had been five years since Razputin saved her from the clutches of an insane Coach Oleander, five years since Raz had become the youngest Psychonaut ever, and two years since they'd last seen each other. Raz's family was the circus, so he traveled with them, and when he wasn't acting or traveling, he was probably on a mission. There had been those rare occasions when he'd gone back to Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp and acted as a counselor for a while; and that was when he'd been able to see Lili. But as his family got more popular, he had to travel and act more than ever. The past two summers, he'd been to busy to go to Whispering Rock and he'd even been hard pressed to find time to write back to Lili's letters. He'd been worried she'd be upset about it.

"Raz…" There was something in her voice that made him look up and her eyes locked with his, "Raz, there's something…I've been thinking about and I don't…really know how to say this but I-."

"You're breaking up with me." He said in monotone and she made a disgusted noise at him.

"Don't do that!" Her voice rose higher, "I hate that! I hate it when you read my mind like that! Can't you see it's hard enough without you taking the words out of my mouth before I can say them, you jerk!?" She was shouting now, "You never were really there! Never! Your head was always somewhere else! Even the last time we kissed it wasn't real! The first time wasn't real! And you led me on like a dog on leash, you idiot!" And she slapped him.

Raz's emerald eyes became rimmed with white as he stared at her pink blotched cheeks. His eyes burned but he bit his lip and held back the tears of rage. Anger flared inside him, bubbling like a pot of heated water. He was so angry with her but…it wasn't right…he just…couldn't let it out on her.

"Why don't you say anything!?" A single tear trickled down her cheek, her fists clenched, her frame shaking with emotion, "Why the heck don't you say anything, Raz!?"

"I…I…I…" Raz stuttered, lip quivering, and tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it seemed to be chocking off his words, "Lili…" A flare of red-orange in his mind's eye made his cheeks flush and his vision swim, "Why…why now? After five years…what the heck are you thinking…?"

"You can't tell!?" She snapped back and when he didn't answer, she stepped away from him, pulling her jacket tighter around her shoulders, "You're fading Raz…"

"Fading…what?" He rubbed his eyes furiously when he thought she wasn't looking.

"Geez Raz!" She looked back up at him and he saw the tears streaking her face, "You disappear and when you come back you've changed! You grew up and I know you can't help it but what you are now is…it's not who you could have been! You've changed, Raz…and it's not for the better…!"

Razputin didn't have anything to say to that. He could only stare at her as tears brimmed up again in his sight. What was happening? He was different? How was he different? He hadn't noticed any difference.

"But I-." He began.

"Just stop!" Lili whispered in a broken voice, "Just…don't say anything else! You're making it worse!" He felt stabbed as those brown eyes flicked their way towards him and he saw those tears falling again, "It's…over Raz…just…" She appeared to be unable to say anymore and she turned around, threw the door open, dashed outside, and slammed it shut. Raz stared at the wooden door, still processing what had happened.

"Lili…" He leaped forward and ran out into the night after her, "Lili! Lili, wait!" But she was gone.

The youth stood on the open field, brilliant lights sparkling in the background and the faint shouts of children and adults echoed around the area. A slight breeze ruffled his bangs and stung his burning eyes.

_It's not fair…_ He thought savagely, fingers digging into his palms as his chest tightened, _It's just not fair! After everything I did for her…! No!_ He squeezed his eyes shut, whirled about, and dashed off, back to the caravan, _It's not because of her! It's because of me! I wasn't good enough! I wasn't…good enough!_

The door banged shut behind him and he looked about, wild-eyed, for a moment or two before gritting his teeth, yanking off the faded friendship bracelet on his wrist and throwing it against the wall as hard as he could, screaming bloody murder.

_I wasn't good enough for her!_

He ripped off his performance outfit and tossed it to the floor, green eyes sparkling with tears and chest heaving with anger. The young Psychonaut fell back onto his bed with a muffled thump and rolled onto his side, facing the wall, shoulders shaking.

_I wasn't good enough! _

With a savage tug, Raz pulled the blankets over his wiry frame and curled up beneath them, sniffling slightly. His fingertips turned white as he clenched the covers with shaking hands.

_Not…good enough…! _

Drawing in a shaky breath, he raised a fist and slammed it into the mattress with a stifled cry of despair. He punched it again and again and again, swearing at himself, and finally lapsed into silent, quiet, semi-sobs of sorrow and rage. The light bulb hanging from the ceiling exploded, plunging the caravan into darkness.

Something in Raz's head snapped.

----

Ah, first chapter done and over with. To any Psychonaut fans (and if you're reading this, I hope you are), I suggest you check out Digitaldreamer's stories; they're amazing! Anyway, thank you for checking this fan fiction out and I hope you'll stay tuned for other chapters to come. Also check me out on hosekidragon. Thanks again!

(p.s. I got the little brother thing from one of the memory reels from a vault in the Brain Tumbler. One of the shots shows Raz reading the pamphlet of Whispering Rock and there's a little boy looking over his shoulder; I sort of thought that was his brother. Shoot me if I'm wrong.)


	2. Obligation To Scrutinize

Ah, yes…rewriting 'Shadows Are Supposed To Stay Sleeping'…! Blah…I really don't know what I'm trying to say here. Anyway, the title of this thing is so freaking long, I'm thinking about changing it but then…well, I don't think there could be a better title than what I've got. Maybe 'Sleeping Shadows'…?

**Two: Obligation to Scrutinize**

"Razputin…" Raz rolled over with a groan, trying to pull the blankets farther over his head, "Razputin, wake up…"

"Whazzarushahuh…?" The boy muttered, sitting up finally and yawning, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "Mm? Morning, Dad…"

"Raz, were you…attacked last night?"

"Um…no…what makes you say that?"

"Well, obviously, the state of the caravan."

"What…!?" Raz swung his long legs over the edge of his bunk and stood up, looking around in shock at the mess that lay before him. The contents of his trunk had been thrown carelessly about, a lamp lay in pieces on his dresser, glass from the shattered light bulb glittered on the wooden floor, and there were seemingly random scorch marks on the walls.

"Who…did this…!?"

"It wasn't you?"

"Well of course it wasn't-! Could it have been…Lili? Would she have…done something like this!?"

"Lili? Why? What happened with Lili?"

Raz's breath caught in his throat and his chest tightened and his eyes burned.

"We…sort of…had a fight and…broke up…" He responded in a choked sort of voice and then swallowed and cleared his throat, "Look, I'll clean this up and then come outside and help you, huh?"

"Alright son…" Raz's father patted his shoulder and left with a small, worried smile. The young Psychonaut looked around once more and sighed. What a great way to start the day.

Razputin carefully picked his way over the glass and books and what-not and retrieved his faded, battered, and duct taped trunk from across the room, then proceeding to shove things into it without bothering to organize them. He knew he'd regret it later but right now he didn't feel like dealing.

Stowing his bulging case back beneath his bed, he telekinetically picked up every piece of broken glass and put it in the rubbish bin. Dusting off his hands with a cocky grin, he pulled on a pair of black jeans, a slightly-too-big dark orange hooded sweater, laced up a pair of worn out old sneakers, and dropped his goggles around his neck.

_Time for a nice hardy breakfast and then...chores…yeah._

Razputin strolled across the dew covered field to the brightly colored tents that contrasted oddly with the foggy gray of the early morning. The chill air stung at Raz's cheeks and he gave a small shiver; the eerie feeling of bad things to come poking at the back of his mind. Shaking himself, he pushed past the flap into the biggest tent and ambled over to where his father stood, directing some fellow performers on carrying a rather heavy piece of the center ring.

"Hey Dad." The youth grinned widely, "What's up for eats?"

"It'll have to be quick, we're in a hurry." His father handed him a steaming blueberry muffin already cut and buttered and a cup full of milk, "We have to get the Big Top down before the sun comes up and then get out of this field by two."

"Ah, the early morning rush…" Razputin smiled again and practically inhaled the muffin and milk, tossing them into the nearest trash bin, "Well, what can I do?"

"Go see if Candice needs help getting the boxes put away."

"But I can help here! If you'd just let me-!" Raz put two fingers to his forehead but his father shook his head, "Why not!? I'm a Psychonaut now! There's nothing to be ashamed of!"

"I'm not ashamed and I can't count how many times we've had this argument…! I just…worry about what could happen. Now go help Candice."

Muttering, Raz stomped his way out of the tent and into a smaller side tent where a brown-eyed woman with long chocolate hair pulled into a quick ponytail was carefully putting items into wooden boxes, stapling them shut, and proceeding to stack them off to the side to be loaded into one of the trailers.

"Hey Candice…!" Raz waved a hand briefly at her and she nodded at him, "Dad told me to help you."

"Take those boxes there out to the trailer, hun, won't you?" The woman said, stuffing a few props into the top of the nearest box, "And then help me get this screen folded, I can never do it by myself."

"Sure." The young Psychonaut scooped up an armful of smaller boxes and glared at a stack of rather larger ones until they floated into the air, "Be back in a second." And he pushed out into the cool air again, the big boxes trailing behind him.

_You're so pathetic._

"Huh?" Reddish hair flopped into green eyes as Raz looked this way and that but the nearest person was Candice and she was back in the tent; besides, that hadn't sounded like her.

_Are you stupid too?_

"Is someone there?"

_No, nobody's there…_

"What the heck…" The boy shook his head and rolled his eyes, continuing on his way to the trailer, "I must still be a little tired." He pushed the little boxes into the back and used his telekinesis to gently set the bigger boxes down.

"Well, time for another load." He swiveled around to walk back but a sudden pain and burst of orange and red in his mind made him reel and fall. He sank into blackness, clutching his head in agony…

---

"Raz! Raz, get up! Get up, what're you doing!? Get up!"

"Hu…huh?" Razputin pushed himself off the ground, blinking, wiping dirt slowly from the front of his sweater, "What…Oji-san Ksuri? What's going on? Why am I…here?"

The old fortune teller was leaning over him with his head cocked and Raz was sitting on the ground behind the old man's tent, not knowing how he got there.

"Were you taking a nap, Razputin? Did you not get enough sleep? It's not like you to skip out on working to take a nap."

"I wasn't skipping work!" The boy replied, agitatedly, jumping to his feet, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, "Honest to goodness, Oji-san Ksuri! You know me! I don't skip work! Never have, never will!"

Oji-san opened his wrinkled mouth to say more but a distant voice cut him off.

"Fire! There's a fire! To the east! The whole portion of the field is ablaze! Fire! Fire!"

A bolt of adrenaline fear set Raz's heart skipping into overdrive and his mind whirred with thoughts, planning, thinking. He gripped Oji-san Ksuri's arm to get the man's attention.

"Get out of here! Get as far from here as you can, Oji-san! Go! NOW!" Raz watched the poor old man totter off as fast as his trembling legs could carry him and then turned and ran towards the east, towards the fire…towards where the Big Top was ever so slowly being taken down.

"DAD! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Razputin's feet slid on the grass as he skidded to a halt, the great poles supporting the largest tent had been loaded onto their trailer along with the thick cables and the folded tent itself but there were still numerous other tents to be taken down and the fire…

The youth's heart pounded against his chest like a living beast trying to escape its cage. The flames soared towards the sky as though trying to consume the very heavens, the heat was unbearable, and the roar of the fire made his ears ache.

"RAZPUTIN!?"

"DAD!! HOW'D THIS HAPPEN!?"

"WE NOT SURE! IT LOOKS LIKE IT SPRUNG FROM NOTHING!!"

"WE'VE GOT TO PUT IT OUT!! THE WHOLE CIRCUS IS IN DANGER!!"

Father and son turned to face the wall of flames, hair whipping in the displaced air that swirled around them, and Raz felt a lump swell into his throat, the bitter taste of failure stinging his tongue. It was impossible. There was no way could stop this monster.

"WATCH OUT!!" Someone shouted and Raz ducked as a gigantic spray of water shot over his head and hit the flames with hiss like a thousand snakes. The boy turned and saw Candice and some other performers clutching a long hose leading to a well that had been dug for the purpose of watering the animals.

Raz grinned at his father and saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye.

"OZZY! NO!" Razputin telekinetically snatched his little brother as the kid dashed for the edge of the fire with an arm full of water balloons, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

"HELPING!" Ozmore shouted, kicking against his older brother's hold, "I WANNA HELP! I WANNA HELP! WANNA HELP, WANNA HELP!"

"YOU'RE ONLY SEVEN, OZZY!" Their father shouted as another burst of water from another hose soared over them, "GET BACK! RAZPUTIN, TAKE HIM BACK TO SAFETY! WE'LL DEAL HERE! TRY TO GET THE TENTS DOWN!!"

"RIGHT!" Raz physically grabbed his brother's hand and started running back towards the tents, "Ozzy, you've got to help your big brother save the tents! That'll be a **huge** help! And Dad'll be proud!"

Ozmore wiped at his eyes and nodded, sniffling. The poor kid was only seven and extremely upset that he didn't 'have special powers like Daddy and Big Brother'. Raz started tugging at one of the cables latched into the ground by a sturdy steel peg, hopelessly trying to pull it out himself. Ozzy tried to help but he was to little and the bellowing of the flames seemed to be blocking out everything else and Raz's palms were sweating so much he couldn't hold onto the cable and Ozzy was starting to cry and Raz felt his throat constrict and then…

Rough hands grabbed his arms and dragged him back. He struggled and kicked, yelling at the top of his voice, coughing as thick smoke filled his lungs. Someone set him down and pushed something against his face but he couldn't tell what it was through his watering eyes and pushed it away.

"The circus…" He wheezed, rubbing his eyes and coughing more, "The tents…the tents…Dad…Ozzy…"

The thing was put to his face again and Raz realized it was an oxygen mask and he held it over his nose and mouth, taking deep, slow breaths. Ozzy sat next to him on the back of an ambulance and the whirring high pitched sound of sirens strained over the roaring fire. Police cars and fire trucks were everywhere and people were dashing about in a great hurry, desperate to stop the blaze.

"Razputin!? Ozzy!?" Raz heard a familiar voice and waved his arm in the air.

"Dad! Dad, we're over here!"

"Thank God you're safe!" Their father wrapped his arms around them, pulling them close, smearing soot all over them, "I'm sorry I made you go back into the tents, I should have told you to run to safety!"

Ozzy promptly burst into tears and his father released them to pat Ozmore comfortingly on the head and convince him that everything would be alright. Raz let this go on for a moment or two before interrupting.

"Dad," The tone in his voice made his father look up, "Can I talk to you? In private?"

His father nodded and they moved off away from the hustle and bustle, leaving Ozzy to bug the 'doctor guy'. Raz watched the fire and felt a pang inside of him. He felt like it was his fault.

"Do you think they'll stop it?" He almost whispered.

"I really don't know son."

"Nobody's hurt, are they?"

"No, just covered in soot and ash. Are you and Ozzy okay?"

"Yeah…" Silence for a moment as they watched they flames, "Any idea of how this started?"

His father shook his head,

"The firemen will figure it out once they stop it, I'm sure."

"What…what are we going to do?"

"We'll get by."

Raz scowled, that was not the answer he'd wanted. He wondered if his unlucky star was being unusually bright this week. First his break up and now a huge fire; it couldn't be a coincidence. It just couldn't. But…there was no connection. Lili would never have done something like this.

"It was probably just some hooligans who didn't put out their cigarettes…" His father appeared to have read his mind, "A…lot of hooligans…and…a lot of cigarettes…"

The young Psychonaut sighed, he was stressed. He needed a vacation. No…he wouldn't leave the circus just because he was stressed out, his father was probably more harassed than he was, having to run the circus. Someone tugged his pant leg.

"Ozzy?" He stooped down and picked up his brother in his arm; Ozzy wrapped his thin little arms around Raz's neck, "You okay?"

"Yeah…!" Said the little boy defiantly, eyes sparkling with tears, then he sniffled and whimpered, "Is the circus gonna be okay…?"

"Of course it is, son." Their father ruffled his youngest son's hair, "This was just a fire, it happens sometimes. Why, I remember a tornado that came through…"

Razputin tuned his father's voice out and looked back at the dwindling flames. He could recall every disaster that the circus had gone through; every time that they'd gotten stuck in the mud, every time that they'd been frozen in the snow, every time a hurricane or tornado had touched down near them. He'd been terrified every single second. Being a Psychonaut could not erase the fear inside him, you could not be taught to forget panic, and you could not get a merit badge for destroying something that could never go away.

"Raz? Raz? Earth to Razputin! Hun, you okay?"

Razputin shook himself and looked around. Candice was trying in vain to brush the ash and soot from herself, never taking her eyes off him.

"Razputin, where'd you go after you put those boxes in the trailer? After you didn't come back, I went to look for you but I couldn't find you anywhere! Then the fire started and I got distracted. Where'd you run off to? It's not like you to ditch work!"

"I dunno…" Raz shrugged and then winced as Ozzy grabbed a fistful of his hair at the unexpected shift in weight, "I was walking out of the trailer and I sort of…blacked out, I guess."

"Candice, will you take Ozzy?" Raz's father interjected, "He looks hungry."

"Yeah! I want candy!" Shouted the youngster, pumping his fists into the air as Raz transferred him into Candice's arms, "Candy, candy, candy!" His little voice faded as Candice carried him away.

"What's going on?" Raz asked, turning to look at his father, the hissing and spitting of the flames fading into the background.

"You say you're not being attacked, correct?"

"Um…yeah."

"But you blacked out today."

"What're you getting at?"

"I think, Razputin, that you're going through some sort of after effect of your breakup with Lili. Psychics are more likely to mentally react to strong emotional feelings. This could be a simple response to the...erm…heartbreak."

"Are you saying…that it could have been **me** that set the field on fire!?"

"No! That's not what I meant, son. Possibly, the blackout and the mess in the caravan could have been caused by your psychic energy reacting to your feelings but not the fire!"

"Oh…that's okay then." Raz grinned, "I can handle this. It's not a big deal."

"DADDY!" Ozzy's shrill voice echoed towards them and Raz's father turned to see his youngest dashing across the grass towards him, Candice following behind, trying to catch him. Raz chuckled and twisted away, walking towards a more secluded spot where he could think in peace.

So there was nothing wrong with him, it was just a phase from breaking up with Lili.

_And not being good enough for her…_ He thought miserably, starting to feel empty as he remembered last night, _But…_ He glanced at the smoke spurting into the air, the flames mostly gone now, _At least the circus is safe._

Raz ran his fingers through his reddish hair with a sigh, closing his eyes as he thought about the upcoming month. The first day of summer. Officially for himself and the rest of the circus. The first day on the road heading towards their next destination. Razputin smiled to himself; summer was always fun for them, it meant more customers, bigger shows, more entertainment, and more training to keep his mind off things like Lili.

The sun pierced the dispersing morning clouds and illuminated the field. With another huge grin, Raz snapped his goggles atop his head and pulled off his sweater, revealing his thin but muscular chest. The warmth felt so good, even after the blazing fire.

Pushing the disaster to the back of his mind, the young Psychonaut tucked his shirt under his arm and traipsed towards the caravan to put on a T-shirt. It looked like it was going to be a hot one.

---

Whoo-hoo! Finally finished the second chapter! It only took me, what, three days! (laughs at myself) I got stuck twice! And now I'm hungry…I think I'll go eat supper.

Ah, no, hold on! Disclaimer! Right, so, I don't own Razputin, his dad, his little brother, their circus, Psychonauts, Lili, Sasha Nein, Milla Vodello, and if there's anything I've forgotten please forgive me! However, the fire, Oji-san Ksuri, Candice, and the authorities belong to yours truly! (little hearts everywhere)

If I, by some chance, ever get this thing posted, I will be **so** happy! I do not have internet access and I probably won't until Christmas…by which time you'll probably be reading this. Just so you know, it's September 13th at 5:43 pm right now. And I'm in the basement on my computer! (does a happy dance because I got my computer back)

Good luck in school everybody and to all those seniors out there…good luck in real life! I'll miss all my senior friends! Love you all tons!

Thanks for reading and now I'm rambling so I'll quit now…! Erm…please review!


	3. Again With the Theatrics

Wanna know something funny? Look me up in two years and you'll find me in rehab for video game addiction. (laughs) No, seriously though, I've been reading Megatokyo and I love it…!

**Three: Again With the Theatrics**

Raz stretched and yawned loudly, raising his arms over his head, as the caravan jerked to halt. Looking over at the opposite side of the caravan, he saw his little brother still sleeping on the tiny cot that was beside their father's bunk. He smiled and walked over to shake Ozmore's shoulder.

"Hey…Ozzy…wake up, we're at another stop…!"

Razputin's little brother rolled over onto one side and then onto the other before finally sitting up and rubbing his eyes with a jaw-cracking yawn. Raz pulled him out of bed, both of them still in their pajamas, and set him on the floor, handing him a thick jacket.

"Come on, we're gonna go get something to eat real quick."

"'K…" Ozzy muttered sleepily, sliding his hand into Raz's. Raz grinned, helped his brother put on his boots before sliding into his own, and led his little brother out of the caravan and into the chilly night air. They met up with their father near the front of the caravan.

"Hey Dad, how's the driving going?"

"Same as always, slow."

"We could always get some trucks to pull the caravans and the horses just for show."

"But then where's the spirit of a **true** gypsy circus!" Raz's father waved his arms into the air dramatically and Raz couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yeah, sure Dad. Let's get something to eat, Ozzy and I are dying of hunger!"

The troop had been on the road for nearly a week, heading towards their next destination, and it had not been easy. It was quite rainy in the region and twice they'd gotten stuck in mud. Raz and his father were periodically trading places; one in the caravan to take care of Ozmore and the other out steering the horses and leading the company in the right direction. More than once, Razputin had been sitting outside in his raincoat and three layers on and more than once had they had to stop because of dangerous thunder storms.

But Raz loved it, this was his life and he loved it. The past didn't matter anymore because he was happy with where he was. Grinning the youth kicked up some pebbles strewn across the parking lot of the tiny little truck stop. The circus group took the old beaten dirt paths across the country, ones sheltered by trees and time, paths that had long since been forgotten by present day folk.

A bell jingled half-heartedly over the door as they pushed their way in, the place was empty save for a couple and their young child. Ozzy waved at the other little boy but his father took his hand, shaking his head. There were some people who still hated psychics and the less conspicuous they were the better.

"What can I get you?" Asked a tired looking waitress, peering blearily at the troop that took up the rest of the tables.

"Coffee." Raz's father muttered.

"Coke!" Ozzy bounced in his seat, looking more awake than he should at this time of night, "Coke…please…!"

"Ah…how 'bout…" Raz leaned back to see what was in the cooler behind the counter, "I'll have a Monster."

He got a look.

"Dad, I'm driving, I need to be awake!"

A raised eye brow.

"I'll be okay…!"

A look that suggested 'think about what happened last time.'

"Fine…" Raz turned to the waitress again who'd been watching the 'argument' like a boring TV show, "Scratch that Monster, I'll take a hot chocolate."

The waitress shrugged and moved on to the rest of the troop. Raz sighed and put his face in his hands, kneading his eyes with the heels of his palms. Someone patted his shoulder and he looked up, lights dancing before his eyes.

"Are you tired?" Ever inquisitive Ozzy asked him, "Are you sleepy, Big Brother?"

"No, Ozzy," Raz smiled at his little brother and ruffled the boy's hair with a chuckle, "Just a little…stressed out, I guess."

"Dad says he feels better when I do this!" Ozmore wrapped his thin little arms around his big brother and gave him as big a squeeze as a little kid could.

"Thanks Ozzy, I do feel better…!" Raz lied with a smile he usually reserved for performances. His father caught it though. Razputin looked away from his father's worried features and concentrated on the patterns in the veneer on the table. He hated bothering his family with his problems.

_Razputin…you shouldn't hide things from people. It makes them not want to trust you._

_Shut up. Man, who's the idiot that decided human beings should have a conscience?_

Laughter echoed inside his head and a blaze of red and orange flared briefly in his mind's eye. He squinted against it and put his face in his hands again.

_Who's there? Who the hell keeps talking to me!?_

The only answer was a clink on the table that signaled his drink was here. He reached out and hooked his fingers into the handle of the steaming mug, lifting it up slowly and sipping it carefully. It tasted more like hot water than hot chocolate. He vaguely heard his father order them all sandwiches.

_Razputin, Razputin…_

_What!? Who is this!?_

_Isn't that a little hot?_

_Huh?_

A burning sensation made his head throb and his winced suddenly, a numbness spreading down his arm and into his fingertips. There was a slightly crackling noise.

"Razputin?"

"B-brain f-freeze!" The teen moaned, cringing.

"Razputin!!"

"OW!" Raz dropped the mug of hot chocolate with a clatter but instead of splashing all over, the mug merely rolled around in a circle like it was empty. The drink inside it was frozen solid, frost lining the lip of the cup. Raz stared at it in wonder. Cyrokinesis; the psychic ability to control ice and that was one skill Raz had never dare try to learn. It was much to close to aquakinesis for comfort.

"Are you alright, Big Brother?" Ozzy asked, fingers wrapped around a glass that was about as big as he was, his eyes trained on the frozen mug, "Did something bad happen?"

"Razputin…" His father murmured and the young Psychonaut looked up to see everyone starring at him, including the family, the waitress, the kitchen staff, and the rest of the circus, "Why did you do that?"

"I…I…I…" Raz couldn't find the words, he'd never learned cyrokinesis and had rarely seen it in use; it was apparently one of the more difficult psychic powers to master, "Dad, I…I didn't…it was…this just…"

"Psychics." Whispered the mother of the family, "You're all psychics." And she stood up. A few members of the circus stood as well, including Raz and his father. The tired waitress and the worn out kitchen staff looked on slack-jawed.

"We want no trouble." Raz's father stated, "We came here to eat and refresh ourselves and leave. We're nothing more than a group of circus performers traveling to our next destination."

"Take your food and get out." Snapped the mother, "I don't care where you go or what you do after that, just get out of here! You people…you freaks…" Her cheeks became blotched with rage and Raz unconsciously put his hand to his forehead. She caught the movement, "Think you're going to get me, psychic!?" She snarled at him.

"Darling…" Whispered the father but she waved him away.

"Don't darling me! It's because of freaks like them…" She pointed an accusing finger at Raz who felt a jolt deep inside him somewhere, that familiar hate, that familiar feeling of being unwanted and unloved, "It's because of freaks like them that my daughter is DEAD!"

"Let's go…" Raz's father said under his breath and he waved to the rest of the troop, "We're leaving." The group moved out the door in silence and back into the cold night air, their breath frosting before them. Raz shuffled along, head hanging, blaming himself. It had been another outburst of his psychic energy due to his emotions and now they'd lost a meal because of it. No one glared at him but he felt their disappointment and some small flashes of rage. They still didn't like what he'd done.

"Razputin…" His father began to say, laying a hand on his shoulder but the boy pulled away and walked into the caravan, flopping down onto his bed in the darkness. He knew he should be driving but he was too upset. He heard Ozzy come in but pretended to be asleep. He'd messed up so bad this time…

----

It was late. Very late. She should be sleeping but something kept Lili Zanotto awake. Something that had been bothering her for the past couple of days. She lightly tapped a pink gel pen on a page of black stationary that was lined with little red hearts, her head in her hand, eyes staring off into the distance as she thought.

What she'd done to Raz was necessary. She'd felt that Raz was no longer the boy she'd met so many years ago at Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp. It seemed like yesterday and yet not yesterday. A lump swelled in her throat as she thought about the time she'd spent--no, wasted--with him. Lili couldn't afford to think about Razputin anymore; he was a relic of the past that would soon fade as she fell for some other boy. And Raz was sure to get a girl. He was, after all, the Youngest Psychonaut Ever.

Lili shook herself, making a face as she shook her head to clear her thoughts, her hair, undone from its usual pigtails, waving across her shoulders and down her back. The teenage girl sat on her large bed in the middle of her large room, the curtain half drawn around it so she could still see her flat screened TV playing 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' as a late night special at low volume, the desk where her laptop sat open to her screensaver (a scrolling message of 'Why are you reading my screen saver?'), and, partially, a wall covered in framed awards, pictures, banners, and other assortments of summer and school life collectables.

Frustrated, the daughter of the Grand Head of the Psychonauts slid off her bed, leaving her stationary and pens where they were and walked across to plop down at her desk with a sigh. Wiggling the mouse, she stopped the screensaver and her desktop appeared, a picture of herself and some friends from school. Lili clicked up her homepage on the internet and typed in an address.

"_What have I done? What have I done?"_

The Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp web page popped up and she starred at it for a while. What was she doing? Why bother going back? She didn't want to see him!

"_Spoiled all…spoiled all…Everything's gone all wrong…"_

Click. The dates for the next week of camp appeared. They were always the same. Oleander would never change them, not in a million years. Why was she looking anyway? What did she care? He wasn't why! No, he sure wasn't! Anger flared inside her. Boys were so **stupid**!!

"_In a million years they'll find me! Only dust…"_

She just wanted to see Sasha and Milla again. And Ford. And maybe the coach. And the kids. And the peaceful scenery.

"_And a plaque. That reads 'Here Lies Poor Old Jack'!"_

Man, did she miss the lake. So beautiful at sunset. He had never gone to lake with her. He stayed as far away from the lake as possible. And the pool at the resort. And the aquarium at the zoo. He'd never stepped foot in a body of water as far as she could tell!

"_But I never intended all this madness, never!"_

Lili closed down the web page and shut off her laptop, leaping back onto her bed and snatching up her gel pen again, only to stare blankly at the black stationary again. What could she possibly say to make this work? It wasn't even her fault! It was all Raz!

"_Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?"_

He was the one who'd brought this upon himself! She snorted at the thought and tossed her head, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she did so. She'd write to Oleander and ask for a position as a counselor, she was old enough at any rate, and hope that Raz would be smart enough to stay away from Whispering Rock.

"_Well, what the heck, I went and did my best! And, by God, I really tasted something swell."_

No. No more Razputin. Not a single thought about him. Not a one. Because thinking about him hurt. And burned. She smiled to herself and flopped back onto her bed, hands behind her head. School was almost over and soon summer would be here and she'd be free to do whatever it was she wanted. Almost.

"_And for the first time since, I don't remember when, I felt just like my old boney self again."_

Lili rolled over onto her side, watching Jack Skeleton dance around the graveyard, lamenting about how he'd destroyed Christmas, even though it had made him feel like the way he used to be. The snow covering the scenery made her shiver and she rubbed her fingers up and down her bare arms. What a chill that was! Like a bad premonition! She hadn't had one of those in almost five years!

"_And I just can't wait until next Halloween! 'Cause I've got some new ideas that will really make them scream! And, by God, I'm really gonna give it all my might!" _

Lili laughed out loud and sat back up, tossing her stationary and pens to the floor and pulling the covers up over herself. She'd write to the Coach tomorrow after school. Final exams were awaiting her in the morning and she'd spent the previous hours studying. The girl reached up and clicked off her lamp, plunging the room into darkness, the only light flickering from the dim TV screen. Lili smiled again, set the television to go off in half and hour, and curled up beneath her blankets, closing her eyes and relaxing.

"_Uh-oh…I hope there's still time to set things right…"_

-----

Finally! I completed chapter three! It took me forever! I can't wait to get started on chapter four! (rubs hands together evilly) This is gonna be **so** mean of me!

Anyway, disclaimer time! I do not own Raz, Lili, Raz's father, the circus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Jack Skeleton, Coach Oleander, Sasha, or Milla. If I've forgotten anything or if I've already done a disclaimer, forgive me I've forgotten. Me and my memory problems…

So, I apologize, to all prior readers, for taking 'Shadows Are Supposed to Stay Sleeping' off the site but I had to redo it and I know it's taken me forever to get it reposted but I don't have good access to the internet during the school year. Please forgive me!

As per usual, if there is anything I can improve on don't hesitate to tell me but please try and be constructive in your criticisms; I'm trying to make my writing better and entertain at the same time.


	4. Burning Up

Okay…so…um, yeah. Here we are at chapter four and there's really nothing to say about this…Ah, okay, so, I'm trying to get as many of these done as possible so when I **do** post them, they'll be a lot for you people to read. For those of you waiting patiently for updates, thank you, I love you tons…!

**Four: Burning Up**

Raz sat curled in a filthy cage, chains clamped on his wrists. A heavy black blanket was draped over the cage, blocking out the light, muffling the sounds of millions of voices and bodies shuffling around. He curled up, trying to be as small as possible, knowing what was coming. With a flourish, the darkness was whipped away and red lights blared upon him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with…The Prince of Demons!" Raz peered through his folded arms at the crowd and then at the Side-Show Hostess, dressed in her silver outfit that sparkled in the eerie lights. Lili was as gorgeous as ever.

"Come on, Razputin!" She hissed at him angrily, "Get up! You're the Demon Prince! Get **up**!" She jabbed him with the baton on one of his sores and he sat up with a jolt. The crowd gasped. He averted his eyes; looking down at his filth-coated claws; knowing they were starring at the demon horns protruding from his forehead and the thick tail ending in a sharp point. His shimmering red and black sleeveless robe and golden crown contrasted with the disgusting element of his cage. He looked sorrowfully down upon the crowd, watching their faces turn from horror to hate; it was always the same. It had been the same since the day they'd captured him.

Razputin was not the Prince of Demons but the humans who ran the circus seemed to think so. They'd found him in a clearing in the forest, stretched out flat, on the verge of sleep. The next thing he'd seen was a net and heard the screams and shouts as he'd tried to claw his way out to no avail.

So Raz had been locked in a cage to be presented as the Prince of Demons for the rest of his days. But there was a catch; the demon had fallen for the princess. The 'princess' being Lili, the Hostess that presented him to the crowds day after day. But Lili hated him. When he'd confessed his love, she'd beaten him, screaming and crying and saying she hated him. It hurt. It hurt really bad. It had hurt worse than anything Raz had ever experienced. It had left him shivering and cold and bleeding and broken inside.

Tonight was no different; he was still shivering, cold, and broken, lying on the floor of his cage in nothing but rags seeing as they took his glittering robes and crown from him every night. Raz lay trembling in the darkness, tears burning his green eyes. He was just starting to drift off when a tremendous heat made him scramble up and stare at the melted bars on his cage. A figure shrouded in a black cloak stood before him.

"Come with me, Razputin, and I'll set you free."

That voice was so familiar.

"Take my hand and together we can be free."

A gloved hand stretched out and Raz clutched it with his own, the chains evaporating like they had never existed.

"That's right. Come with me. Because you belong to me."

The stranger tugged him through the melted front of the cage. Raz made a noise of discontentment as his blistering wounds cracked and split.

"Shhhh. Careful now, Razputin, careful now."

Raz suddenly tripped and found himself pressed against the warm body, the folds of the cloak wrapping around his shaking frame. The figure was no taller than himself.

"It'll be okay, Raz," Fingers stroked his matted hair, "I'll protect you…" The hood slid back as Raz looked up. Green eyes locked with green eyes.

"You…" The young demon whispered hoarsely.

"Hello, Razputin, I've returned…to save you…"

Raz sat up screaming, fingernails digging indents into his sweaty palms, eyes wide. He vaguely heard his little brother asking if he was alright but the youth was in too much shock to notice. In the world of psychics, dreams and nightmares were extremely important, especially to telepaths such as Raz. They usually signified something essential. The young Psychonaut breathed in and out heavily, shaking. The person who'd broken him out of the cage, the person who'd told him everything would be alright, the person who'd held him close, and safe, and warm…was a mirror image of himself.

---

"I heard you had a nightmare, Razputin."

Raz scowled as he put his weight against a rather heavy box, trying to push it out of the trailer to Oji-san Ksuri. Now that the circus had stopped, the news seemed to have spread that the Youngest Psychonaut Ever had awoke screaming the previous night. Many of the members thought this a great laugh and never dropped the opportunity to poke some fun at the boy. Raz himself was opted to blame Ozzy and his big mouth.

"Look, Oji-san, it doesn't matter. It was one little nightmare and I-." He stopped himself, biting his lip as he tipped the crate into the old man's arms. It would be a lie if he said he didn't care. The old fortuneteller sat the box on the grass with a huff.

"Razputin," He said sternly, "Whatever your problem is it's yours alone to figure out. But letting the comments of your fellow performers get to you is new to me. We're all family here Raz, one measly missed meal isn't gonna kill us."

The youth winced at the words, plopping down at the edge of the trailer and burying his face in his hands. The sun beat down upon his bare arms and legs; sure it was warm **after **they got off the road.

"And another thing, why aren't you using your psychic powers?"

"Hmph." Raz snorted, a noise slightly muffled by his hands.

"Razputin…" Oji-san said warningly, "It's not like you to be moody either."

"I…" Raz's green eyes sparkled as he looked up at the old man, "Oji-san, promise you won't tell my father but I…I think I'm the one who started the fire in the field…"

Silence.

"Razputin!" A withered old hand smacked him on the back of the head.

"Hey! Ow!"

"Shame on you!" For such a frail looking thing, Oji-san Ksuri seemed to swell with anger, "Shame on you, Razputin, for putting all the blame on yourself! Blame somebody else for once, why don't you!?"

And the old man picked up the box and stalked off in a huff. Raz watched him go in amazement. He was right of course, Raz put all the blame upon himself because he didn't know what had really happened.

"I'm just paranoid." He muttered and picked up another box.

---

Razputin gave an involuntary twitch as the musical cue started up and he knew his father and his little brother and the rest of the acrobats were out there performing. And here he was, the Youngest Psychonaut Ever, one of the most powerful psychics in existence, stuck back-stage like a hired-hand because of emotional problems.

"Raz! Are you listening to me!?" The youth looked up to see a girl no older than himself in a neon pink outfit that sparkled, feathers protruding from her back, and a white poodle in her arms, "I told you to watch Peacock while I get her costume!"

"No."

"And why not!?"

"'Cause I don't have to. 'Sides, I'm helping Toby."

"No you're not! You're just sitting there!"

"Go away, Penny, I'm not your personal slave."

"Tch, just because you're father owns this circus doesn't mean you can act all high and mighty about it, Razputin!"

"I'm not."

Penny stared at him fir a while and then sat down on the boxes next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Raz tensed. He honestly didn't know how to react to something like this from another girl.

"Raz, if there's something bothering you…" Penny's face turned as pink as her outfit, "You know…you can talk to me about it, right? I mean, I'm kind of…there for you…and all that…like everyone else here…"

The boy's green eyes flickered and he turned toward her.

"Penny," He said flatly, "There's nothing wrong. Go get your dog dressed."

"Whatever…!" The girl snorted, waving a hand at him, and stalked off like she'd been angry at him the whole time. Raz grinned and then childishly stuck out his tongue at her receding back. He thought he heard Peacock growl.

"Raz!" Toby, the head stage hand, shuffled into view, dragging a bundle of Devil Sticks with him, "Raz! There you are! Take these out to Candice, will you! She's at the souvenir stand 'round the corner of the Big Top…!"

"Sure thing Toby." The young Psychonaut snatched up the Sticks and pushed his way out into the afternoon air that was thick and humid, burning the inside of his lungs when he took a deep breath to steady himself. Already starting to sweat, Raz started around the back of the Big Top towards the souvenir stand that Toby had mentioned. As he drew nearer, he heard voices.

"And how much are you worth?"

"It's those kind of questions that can get you in trouble around here, sonny!"

"Are you gonna call the 'Strong Man' on us? Ooooooh! I'm scared!"

"Now, now, boys, let's be nice…"

Raz rounded the corner and froze. A group of four men were leaning over the counter of the souvenir stand, leering at Candice who glared back. By the looks of them, they weren't there to buy trinkets as reminders of the circus. One of them reached out to Candice and Raz felt a flash of anger in the back of his mind.

"Hey! Leave her alone! You bunch of scumbags!" He dropped the bundle of Devil Sticks and ran at the gang. One of them looked up and grinned to see a scrawny-looking fifteen year old in an old gray T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and a pair of cut-off shorts running at him.

"Looky here, lads, we've got ourselves a hero…!" And he dodged Raz's fist only to get nicked by the psychic fist that sent him sprawling, "And a smutty psychic too…!" His buddies helped him to his feet.

"Razputin!" Candice shouted, "Don't you dare pick a fight! Get out of here, honey, I can handle myself!"

"Not a chance!" The first man snatched Raz off the ground by the collar of his shirt, "I don't like psychics…and I don't like the way you're looking at me, kid…!" And he swung his fist up, punching Raz in the side of the face and sending the boy flying into the Devil Sticks he'd dropped. They laughed.

Raz's vision swam, he felt blood trickling from a split lip and his eye was already swelling into what was sure to be a nasty shiner. He tried to push himself up but his limbs felt like lead. He could hear Candice shouting and the men laughing but it was all turning into a sort of static noise. A flash of red orange, a severe pain in his head, and then darkness covered everything.

"_RAZPUTIN!!"_

---

It was hot. Really hot. Hotter than when he'd stepped outside of the Big Top to deliver the Devil Sticks. Terrifyingly hot. A burning heat that was as immense as the fire that spread across the field, threatening the circus. So very, very hot.

But now it was disappearing, ebbing away and leaving him feeling slightly chilled. Something touched his shoulder and he twitched, his eyes shut against the blare of the sun.

"Raz! Raz, are you alright!?" He squinted and saw Candice leaning over him, "I've never seen anything like it! Are you going to be okay? Can you move?"

The teen sat up groggily, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. His lower lip stung, he could barely see out of his left eye, his arms were sore, his head ached, and he felt cold after the burning heat that had flowed through his body. He looked down at his hands and saw that his fingers were sprinkled with ash.

"What…happened…?"

"Geez, hun, that's something I'd hardly forget!" Candice sat back, a smile on her face now that she knew Raz was alright, "After that punk knocked you down, I thought you'd gone out like a light but you got right back up and glared daggers at him, honey! Next thing you know, you've set the end of them Devil Sticks on fire and are spinning them through the air without even touching 'em!"

"I…I…"

"And you kept saying 'how dare you, how dare you' and muttering things under your breath! Those guys nearly wet themselves trying to get away from you!" She laughed and Raz grinned weakly; he didn't recall any of this.

"But when you turned to me, honey, you sort just…crumpled and whispered really soft 'it's all her fault' and fell down."

Now that he looked around, Razputin could see the scorched Devil Sticks lying strewn around him. He had no honest memory of doing anything like setting them on fire. It could have been another outburst of his emotionally charged psychic energy but that wouldn't explain why he'd been walking around and talking.

"Razputin?" Now his father appeared on the scene, "Razputin, are you alright, son!?"

"I…I'm…I'm okay…!" Said the boy, pushing himself to his feet, wincing, "Just…some punks picking on Candice…"

"Candice, clean up this mess please, I'm taking Raz back to the caravan to get something for his injuries."

"Dad, I'm not injured! It's just some bruises-!"

"Alright! See you later, Raz!"

"Dad!" The young Psychonaut whined, tugging against his father's hold on his arm, "Dad! I'm fine!"

"This isn't about what those ruffians did, Razputin, it's about what **you** did…!"

"Wh…what **I** did!?"

"Indeed…" His father swung him around behind the caravan so that the boy's back was to the wall and he was looking his father right in the eye, "Razputin, listen to me! You can't keep using your psychic powers so carelessly! You may be a Psychonaut now but there are people out there that will do things to you that are worse than death!"

"But I-!"

"I just want to protect you from our family's enemies."

Raz bit his lip on impulse but stopped when it stung harshly, hanging his head. How could he explain that it was his uncontrollable psychic energies that had started it all. Fire. It all had to do with fire. His rage at Lili was burning at the world around him.

_There has to be a way to suppress it…_ Raz started, accidentally picking up on his father's thoughts, _I never wanted this for anyone…_

"Dad…" Raz whispered, "I'll leave, if…I'm getting in the way…ya' know…I can go to Head Quarters and-."

"No." His father responded, smiling at him, "No, it's fine. Just…be careful from now on. And watch what you're doing, okay?"

"'K...!"

There was a heavy silence and Raz looked anywhere but at his father.

"You'd better get some ice on that eye…" His dad said and Raz nodded absently.

"Sure." He looked up and grinned, wincing when it hurt his lip and his swollen eye, "Yeah, some ice would be really nice." He laughed with his father, even though it wasn't really all that funny. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought he vaguely heard someone laughing too but it might have just been his imagination.

---

Hey, you made it to the end of chapter four! Yeah! You're probably getting tired of all these drawn out scenes but I'm really trying to paste this together. Plus, you won't have to wait much longer…it is coming! What, you ask? Why, the answer! Well…sort of…not the whole answer. We have a ways to go before getting there…


	5. In the Golden Days

Woot! I'm finally back with 'Shadows Are Supposed To Stay Sleeping'! Hoo-yeah! (starts singing the chorus of 'The Boys Are Back In Town' and dancing around like the idiot I am)

Anyway, thanks for being so patient with me as you guys waited for this fiction to get re-posted! I know, I know, it took me forever but I just absolutely **had** to finish 'Oblivion's Grip 3: Eyes of Black Moon'! So, I'm really sorry!

So, I suppose I should get started! Welcome to the all powerful…chapter five! Dun, dun, dun! DOOM!

**Five: In the Golden Days**

"Raz, you need to stop being emo! It's not right for a circus performer!"

"I'm not emo, Penny!"

"Then why do you have a black eye? Weren't you beating yourself up?"

"I got into a fight! Besides, emo people cut their wrists because they think the world hates them."

"And the world doesn't hate you because…?"

"Oh, that's very funny! I should throw these potatoes at you!"

"Try that and this apple's going to be up your butt!"

Raz's father sighed as he watched Penny and his oldest son squabble at the next table over. Ozzy sat contentedly next to his older brother, oblivious to the argument, and stealing Raz's fries when he thought his sibling wasn't looking. The circus troop was in the cafeteria tent for lunch on a hot summer afternoon, that night would bring a performance in which Raz was not participating (again). It was this that made the young Psychonaut grumpy and lash out.

"RAZPUTIN!" Penny screeched, "YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!"

Raz's father looked across at the other table with the rest of the troop and his eyes immediately fell upon the smoldering black mess that had once been an apple. Penny was screaming about it but Raz just sat there staring at it. With a sudden, quick motion, the fifteen year old boy leapt to his feet and left the tent. Ozzy watched him go, a handful of fries sticking out of his mouth.

As soon as he'd left the tent, Raz ran full tilt towards the caravan, slamming the door shut behind him when he'd entered and flopping onto his bed, burying his face in his hands. They felt like ice against his pounding head. He heaved a heavy sigh and straightened up, looking around for something to take his mind off of his emotional problems. His green eyes traveled over the posters stuck up over the walls on his side of the caravan; most of them were 'True Psychic Tales' posters but there were some circus posters and a few photos pinned up there as well. He grinned as his gaze fell upon the snapshot of himself and all his fellow campers at Whispering Rock from five years ago. Ah, the good old days…

_Good old days indeed. What's this I've found here, Razputin? A huge, gaping hole in your heart? Who put that there, I wonder?_

It was that voice again. Raz snorted and lay spread-eagle on his bunk, starring up at the wooden ceiling as thought about the days when he'd ran away from the circus to become a Psychonaut (which he had) and then the following years; the on-and-off missions, the performances, the young, eager campers, and the letters and phone calls.

_Letters? Phone calls? What did she care about those? You weren't good enough for her._

"Not good enough…" Raz muttered, putting a hand over his black eye, "Not good enough…why do I care?"

_Because it hurts, stupid, that's why!_

"Don't call me stupid!" The young Psychonaut growled, scowling at the ceiling like it was to blame for his foul mood, "And no, it doesn't hurt!"

_Then why're you trying so hard not to think of her? _

"Geez!" Razputin sat up, smacking the heels of his hands onto his forehead in exasperation, "I'm talking to myself!"

The door clicked and creaked open and Ozzy walked in. He stopped when he saw his older brother with his face in his hands, curled up on his bunk. The little boy didn't completely understand what a real relationship was, didn't understand why Raz was hurt, didn't understand why Raz was grouchy and snapping at everyone.

"Hey, Big Brother," Ozzy leaned over the Psychonaut, who had his arms thrown over his face like someone who doesn't want to wake up in the morning, "Hey, Big Brother…! Help me! Please!"

"What, Ozzy?" The voice was tired sounding, muffled by his arms.

"I need help!" Now the little kid was whining, "I don't know how to do the stuff Daddy wants me to do!"

"Hmph…" Raz snorted, still not moving, ignoring the throbbing pain caused by the pressure of his arm on his black eye, "I don't want to."

"But Big Brother-!"

"I said I don't want to, Ozzy, now leave me alone…!"

"But Daddy won't help me either!" Ozmore stomped his foot on the wooden floor, "He told me to ask you!"

Razputin was silent for a moment and his little brother thought for sure that he'd fallen asleep but then the youth sighed and sat up, running his fingers through his red-brown hair.

"Fine, Ozzy, I'll help you," He stood up and ruffled the spiky mohawk on his brother's head, making his sibling jerk away and grumble about his hair being messed up. Raz laughed at this, "I told Dad we shouldn't have let you get your hair cut like that but he didn't listen…! Now you're obsessed with your hair!"

"Am not!" Ozmore muttered, following his brother out of the caravan and towards the Big Top, "I like it spiky! Why don't you spike yours? Then we'd look like twins!"

"No thanks, Ozzy!" Raz made a face at the thought of himself walking around with a mohawk to match his brother's, "I like my hair just the way it is! Besides, a mohawk would just get in my way on my missions…!"

"Tell me about your missions!" The seven year old was fascinated with his older brother's work and often demanded this of him, "Tell me one, Raz, tell me one! Please!"

"Oh, fine…! But only if you practice **really** hard! Will you?"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"Okay. So, there was one mission, right, where I had to go into the mountains and it was super cold! Like, so cold I thought my nose was gonna fall off! And anyway, the mission was to find this psychic who was causing avalanches and killing people and destroying towns just for the fun of it! So I got to the…" Razputin's voice faded off as he led his brother away from the caravan. Off behind the caravan was a patch of daisies…or there had been. Now there was only a scorched pile of dried grass and blackened flower stems. And if you looked carefully enough, you could almost see something that might have been letters burned deeper into the soil than the rest of the area around it. It looked as though the burning had happened over night. No one had noticed.

---

Hey everyone! I know, I know, chapter five was really short but I had to cut it short for purposes of the fan fiction itself. Don't worry though! Chapter six is going to be really, really good! I mean, like, written good, not something good happens good.

Anyway, I'm kind of Kingdom Hearts obsessed again right now but I figured I should work on this so if my style seems a little off or the characters are a little weird, that's probably why. You can blame Sora. He's an idiot anyway.

Well, until next time! See you later!


	6. Run For Your Life

Ta-da! Chapter six is here! I really need to stop announcing what chapter it is, you already know, I'm just making an idiot of myself. As usual.

So anyway, uploading chapters is going to be a bit easier now, I think, because I finally got my hands on a thumb drive (aka: memory stick, flash drive, thumb stick etc.) and that's all our school has is the USB attachments so you should be able to get your chapters sooner! Even though these six will probably all be uploaded at the same time. Plus whatever I do after this.

Thanks a ton! And thanks to all of you who are reading this! Enjoy!

**Six: Run for Your Life**

"It's not fair." Razputin muttered, moodily watching his father and little brother get ready for their performance, "I have emotional issues so I have to sit in the back and watch. It's just not fair!"

"Life isn't fair but I'd rather have you back here doing nothing than on stage hurting yourself." Even though he hadn't said it, Raz knew his dad didn't want him hurting other people either, "Ozzy can perform just as well by himself as he can with you."

"It's not about Ozzy." Raz grumbled, "It's about me…I hate not doing anything."

"Help Toby then." His father replied, turning away to help his youngest son do up his outfit.

"Toby doesn't **need** my help, Dad!" The young Psychonaut rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious think on earth, "He's got plenty of people helping him! I want to **do** something to help you guys!"

"Ozzy, go wait outside." His father ushered Ozmore out the door and then turned to face his oldest son who was pouting on his bed, "Razputin, I'm not only doing this because I don't want you hurting people-."

"I can control it-!"

"I'm doing this because there are some psychics out there that could take control of your power when you have very little over it yourself. Our family has enemies in many places and I've heard of more than one psychic who can steal the psychic energies of others. It's too dangerous for you to be out there when your psychic powers are haywire like they are now. I just worry about you." Raz's father sighed when his son didn't respond to his speech, "Razputin, I love you, you know that. It's hard, being a psychic, and you know that too, but it's even harder when you can't accept that you don't always have control over a situation." And he left.

The fifteen year old psychic sat on his bunk, starring at the floor without really seeing it. There was so much on his mind and he was utterly convinced that all the things that were happening around him were his fault, no matter what his father told him. But sitting and pondering was not Raz's style. All to soon, he got itchy and left the caravan, ducking into the Big Top back stage and watching the hustle and bustle, getting his bearings. He heard a familiar music cue and weaved his way to the curtain's edge. Raz stood in the shadows at the side of the stage, watching the rest of the acrobats perform, particularly watching Ozzy. He hated standing around and doing nothing. Absolutely hated it.

_Then do something about it…_

It was that obnoxious, troublesome voice in his head. Again. He scowled, trying to ignore it, turning his thoughts to the routine. A laugh and a flicker of red-orange in his mind's eye.

_Come on, let's have some fun!_

Razputin crossed his arms over his chest, shifting from foot to foot, green eyes flickering over the performance. Another round of laughter, louder now, and then a searing pain in his head. He grunted, squeezing his eyes shut and digging his fingers into his skull.

_Razputin, Razputin…if you're hurt I'll take away the pain. If you're sad I'll make you happy again. If you hate something…well, I'll take care of it for you…! I'll make everything better!_

Heat flushed the young Psychonaut's body as he fell to his stomach on the floor, clutching fistfuls of red-brown hair, groaning softly, muscles tightening. He thought he heard Toby calling his name but it was so faint, like through a closed door, muffled and hard to hear. Hate from some unknown source boiled up inside him; a hate that frothed and erupted like an exploding volcano.

_Watch me Raz, I'll make it all okay again!_

The youth squinted at the performance, blearily watching his little brother. Not Ozzy, please, not his precious Ozzy! He watched as Ozmore launched himself from the top platform and snatched the empty trapeze swinging towards him. As he swung forward a spark ignited on one of the ropes but quickly became fire that spread and as soon as poor Ozzy noticed the ropes being burned away it was already too late!

Raz heard the audience gasp and scream as he pushed himself to his feet, trying to reach the tumbling form of his treasured little brother. His body felt like a thousand pounds of lead, his hair was plastered to his sweaty forehead, and his vision was blurred with tears. Not his Ozzy! Not his Ozzy!

_Not Ozzy? Not Ozzy!? What do you want me to do to make you happy!? Make it go away!? Make it __**all**__ go away!?_

Raz tripped over his own feet and fell onto the wooden stage, looking up in terror to see Ozzy in his father's arms, sobbing. The smoldering remains of the trapeze lay on the stage, some of the other acrobats stomping out the embers. Razputin lay on the floor, starring at the scene and for a moment time seemed to stop. Something clicked. This was his fault. There was no denying it this time, no way to get around it. He'd almost…he could have…Ozzy would have…

A tightening in his chest, his heart thumping in his throat, the tears turning everything into smears of color. His feet moved on their own; he jumped up and ran, ran as fast as he could, not caring who he ran into, tears streaming down his cheeks. He stumbled into the dusk, chocking, gasping, crying, running to nowhere, letting his feet carry him. He didn't know how far he'd gone when he heard his father's voice calling his name. No. Couldn't stop. Had to run. Had to get away from it. Had to get away. Get away, get away, get-.

"Razputin!" His father had caught up with him; Raz stopped a few feet away, breathing heavily, still crying, not caring, "Razputin, what're you doing!?"

"R-r-running!" He managed to gasp, shoulders heaving, voice shaking, unsure of what exactly he was doing, he was so shaken up, "O-o-okay! I-I'm r-r-r-running!"

"Running? Running from what?"

"Everything!" Raz screamed and it echoed slightly, "E-everything! I-i-it's all m-my fault! A-all of it!"

"No, Razputin, you didn't do anything-."

"NO!" Raz whirled around, distraught, sniffling, tears burning his eyes, "I c-c-could have k-k-k-killed him!" And he burst into fresh sobs, throwing himself onto his father and wrapping his arms around him, not caring who saw, not caring he was acting like a five year old, "I c-can't stop it a-anymore, D-dad! I-I-I c-could have h-h-hurt him r-real bad!"

"Razputin…" But it seemed there were only so many times his father could say 'it's not your fault' and still mean it, "Razputin…"

His father's thin arms tightened around him and pulled him close. Raz let him, let himself cry, let everything go. It was no time to hold it in anymore. After a few minutes of crying, Raz stepped back, out of his father's grasp, and sniffed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Dad," His voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat before continuing, "Dad, I'm gonna go see Sasha."

He saw his father bite his lip in the failing light and knew that an objection was coming; that they needed him for the circus; but Raz didn't see why he should stay, he was just being a hindrance as it was and the sooner he got this whole emotional psychic problem figured out the better.

"I really can't argue with you, son, but I wish you wouldn't." His father shook his head and smiled at him, something Raz tried to return but his face just wouldn't pull it off; he wasn't in the mood, "Ozzy's going to be upset with you."

"Tell Ozzy I'll bring him a souvenir or something then." The boy replied in a low voice, "I'm going to go pack now and don't worry about transportation, I'll call HQ to come and pick me up."

He turned and started to walk away but a warm hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Be careful, alright?"

"Yeah Dad, I'll be careful." And he walked off into the deepening night towards the caravan, hands in his pockets, thoughts wandering, so many emotions flooding him at once. He was one messed up Psychonaut, that was for sure.

----

Oh, that was really dark and twisted of me…! Ah yeah, anyway, next chapter, I think we can guess what happens? I'll give you a hint: WR. Oh yeah! See you then!


	7. I Have A What?

Hiya everybody. I feel like crap right now because it's freezing cold out and I hate the cold. Not to mention the snow. Hm, I like snow but I hate the cold. How does that work? I dunno. Anyway, I'll shut up now.

**Seven: I Have A What?**

"Thanks for the lift!" Raz waved at the man in the driver's seat of the limo as he stepped up to the gates of Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, "I'll call again when I'm ready to leave."

"It was no problem at all, Sir." The driver stated, tipping his hat, "It's my job, it's what I do. Transport the Psychonauts, Sir, I get paid for it."

"Well…er…thanks anyway!" The young Psychonaut was ruffled at being called 'sir' but he brushed it off and looked up at the huge gate again. It'd been a while since he'd been here. Shouldering his old backpack and hefting his trunk, he telekinetically pulled out his Psychonauts badge from his pocket and flashed it against the heavy lock. There was a click, the lock fell open, the gate swung in, and Raz stepped into Whispering Rock, letting the gate close and relock itself behind him. It felt good to be back…!

The fifteen year old strolled down the path from the parking lot to the main lodge, relishing the quietness of the place in the early morning light. There was a bit of bird song here and there, the rustling of squirrels and other small animals in the undergrowth, and heavy scent of pine trees on the cool breeze wafting down from the mountains surrounding the government training facility. Razputin went around the lodge, jumped over the fence, and continued down a slightly hidden path towards the Counselor's Lodge that was surrounded by tall, shady pines. As he neared the large wooden building, he recognized the person kneeling over in the flower beds on either side of the door.

"Hey Milla!" He called, raising his free arm to hail her, "How's it going?"

"Razputin, darling!" The Brazilian agent stood and brushed the dirt off of herself, "How are you doing, sweetie? It's been a while!"

"I know, I know…!" Raz couldn't help but grin, "I've been really busy. It's great to be back though! How're you doing?"

"Oh, I'm fine, darling, still going to my rhythm!" She smiled sweetly at him and put her hands on her hips, "Do you need some help with you things, Razputin?"

"Nah, I'm fine!" Raz shook his head, letting his bangs fall into his face, "So how's Sasha? Is he here?"

"In his lab, as usual, and on such a nice day too-."

"Hello Razputin." Raz nearly dropped his trunk on his foot when he heard Agent Nein's voice from behind him, "I thought I picked up your presence entering the facility."

"Morning Sasha…!" Razputin turned to the German Psychonaut, "Are you really busy?"

"Not really. Just a few experiments going on in my lab. Would you like to see?"

"Ooh, yeah! Um…wait…" The young Psychonaut bit his lip thoughtfully, "Erm…maybe later, Sasha. I need to…talk to you about something first. Just let me put my stuff away."

And he walked into the lodge quickly. Milla watched him go, a worried expression on her face. Sasha starred after him blankly, thinking that the boy was always in such a rush. A few minutes later, Razputin reappeared, dressed in his official Psychonaut shirt, the sleeves hanging down over his gloved knuckles, a pair of slightly faded blue-black jeans, a black, hooded vest over his shirt, and dark brown boots. He classic goggles sat on his head.

"Razputin…" Milla peered at him, "Is something bothering you, darling?"

"Well…it's kind of long story…"

"Let's go inside." Sasha muttered, "I need coffee anyway."

"You don't need coffee, Sasha!" Agent Vodello snapped at him, "It's nearly noon! Have some juice."

"Juice…" Raz heard Sasha grumble as they walked back into the lodge and into the large living room like area, "What self-respecting psychic scientist drinks juice…!?"

Raz smirked as he fell into a squishy arm chair and practically sank into it; Sasha and Milla both sat on the couch.

"So…" Now that he was here, it seemed like it was a lot harder to talk about than it had been when he was thinking about doing it, "So…well…I…I don't really know where to start but…" He looked helplessly up at the two older agents, "There's something wrong with me."

"I'm going back to my lab." Sasha began to stand.

"No, no! Wait! Okay! Lili and I…Lili and I got into a fight and broke up!"

"Oh, Razputin, darling!" Milla made as if to get up and hug him but Sasha put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head, he knew there was more to this story.

"When I woke up in the morning, the caravan was trashed. I didn't worry about it then; Dad said it was probably just my psychic energy reacting to my emotions. But then I passed out as we were packing up and a huge fire started in the field we were camped in. Nobody got hurt and Dad said it wasn't my fault but I was so sure…" He stopped for a moment, took a deep breath, and then continued, "I was so sure it was me. I heard a voice in my head. And then at a rest stop, I unconsciously used cyrokinesis and you guys no I never bothered to learn that! Then a couple days later, I got into a fist fight and was knocked unconscious but Candice said I'd gotten right back up and attacked the guys who'd been harassing her…! And then…and then…" Raz's voice quivered and he took in a shaky breath, "And then…I almost killed my little brother…! Only, I know it wasn't me! It was whoever the voice in my head is! You gotta believe me!" The youth's green eyes flickered over Sasha and Milla, "You know I wouldn't hurt Ozzy! I'm not insane!"

"Of course you're not Razputin…!" Milla said soothingly though there was an edge to her voice that said otherwise.

"Hmmm…compelling." Sasha muttered, scrutinizing Raz behind his tinted glasses, "Razputin, I believe you have some sort of strange case of Multiple Personality Disorder. I'm going to fix the Brain Tumbler and I'll let you know when it's ready. Then we can get to the bottom of this!"

"Sweet! So I'm not crazy! Wait a minute…?" Raz was interrupted by the loud honking of the Whispering Rock bus echoing from the parking lot.

"Ach, Morry's back with the children…" The German psychic muttered discontentedly, "I'm leaving before I'm trampled." And he disappeared from the room and out the door, probably to his precious lab. Raz looked at Milla and sighed.

"I'll go help the coach…" He muttered, "As long as I'm stuck here, I might as well be of some use."

"Want to be a consular, darling? We could always use a little extra help…!"

"Um…sure…I guess so. No harm!" Raz shrugged and stepped back out into the sunshine. The light reflected off his goggles as he made his way back towards the parking lot. Sasha would have this whole 'voice-in-his-head-spontaneous-fire-thing' solved in no time, he was sure of it.

"It's about time you came back to the battle field, Soldier!" Coach Oleander shouted over the screams of the kids as they chased each other back and forth across the parking lot, "Help me get these new recruits in line!"

"Yes sir!" Raz saluted mockingly and rounded on the PSI Cadets, "Alright! Whoever gets in line gets a free autograph from me!" All the kids stopped to see who it was that had shouted and, upon recognizing the Youngest Psychonaut Ever, immediately got into what could basically be translated into a line, "Good, now, follow the Coach!"

He laughed to himself as he watched the line of ten year olds marching away after the squat little Oleander; he didn't remember being that short! A few of them were looking over their shoulder at him as they went, whispering among themselves. He could only imagine...! Their voices in his head made him grin and put his hands on his hips.

"_It's Agent Razputin! The Youngest Psychonaut Ever!"_

"_Wow! Agent Raz! I'm __**so**__ going to get his autograph and sell it on E-bay for a bazillion dollars!"_

"_He's looking at us! He talked to us! He's real! This is so cool!"_

"_Maybe he'll have to save the world for us again!"_

Chuckling, Razputin trailed around the parking lot, running his gloved fingers over the giant slice of tree consisting of the history of Whispering Rock Psychic Camp. So many memories. Curious about some things, he stopped to take a look at the message board.

"_To All In-Coming PSI Cadets: The forest is off limits so stay out of it! –Ranger Cruller._" He read aloud, "Well, at least Ford hasn't changed…!" He looked at another one, "_Dear Timmy, I'm going back to Australia next summer and I'm not coming to Whispering Rock! If you ever want to see me again, promise to run away with me to Florida where I can become a movie star and you'll be a hot male model! Signed with lots of love, Cecilia Bronehert._ Hmph, ten year olds…they're all nuts!"

The young Psychonaut stretched and looked towards the lodge. The PSI Cadets were probably at the Kid's Cabin Area by now getting settled in. Why not go meet them all and sign whatever article of clothing they wanted. It would most likely be chaos, as per usual with the youngsters, but it would be a kind of happy chaos that Raz would enjoy. He made his way past the Main Lodge and crossed the wooden bridge to the Cabin Area and Coach Oleander's little fortress. As the teenager wandered down the path and past one of the giant tree roots, he heard a squeal of delight and the next thing he knew he was laying on his back on the ground with a bunch of ten year old girls clinging to his torso.

"Oh my gosh! Agent Razputin!" They all cried at the same time; there were about three or four of them; and stood in a semi-circle around him, eyes sparkling.

"Oh my gosh! He's even hotter in real life than he is in the magazines!"

"Oh my gosh! Will you marry me!?"

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe I really touched him!"

Oh my gosh, why were they all saying 'oh my gosh'? He sat up, readjusting his goggles on his head, and frowned, looking around at them all. A bunch of giggling girls. One of them squealed again and turned bright red as he looked in her direction.

"Oh my gosh! Agent Razputin looked at me! AT ME!"

"Um…what exactly is going on here?" He asked over the giggling of the other girls, "Um…hello? Camp counselor asking you a question here!"

"Oh my gosh! Don't you know!?" One of the cried, "We're the official "Razputin All Girls Fan Club!' Oh my gosh!"

Raz just stared at them. He had a fan club? Of little ten year old psychic girls? This could be a problem. He stood up and discovered that one of them had been unlacing his boots while he'd been distracted and was now running around squealing that she had 'Raz's shoelace'. Why this was a major achievement, Raz didn't know. He did know that he wanted that shoelace back.

Muttering curses under his breath, he stood, put two fingers to his forehead and looked at the girl. Immediately, an orange hand came out of no where and picked up the girl by the back of her shirt. She screamed and dropped the shoelace which Raz grabbed before setting her back onto the ground.

As he was relacing his boot, all the girls huddled around him, watching his every move. Okay, he was in the circus but this was just ludicrous! How was he supposed to teach a class of giggling fan girls? No way was he going to let these girls into his mind! Not even if Hell itself froze over!

"So Mr. Raz…" One of the girls fluttered her eyelashes at him which probably would have been attractive had she been older and known when she'd put too much makeup on, "Is it true you live in a mansion at the sea side where you go out every day and swim with the dolphins and run on the beach with a bunch of girls in bikinis?"

"No. I live in my family's circus and I don't even know how to swim…!" He stuck the shoelace through one of the holes and pulled it tight.

"Did you have your heart broken by a lot of beautiful girls and now you're emo?"

"What the-!? No! I don't even know that many girls!" He laced the other string, pulling it over the other one.

"Do you go into the mountains every winter time to train and hone your psychic skills?"

"No…!"

"Did you really beat off twenty fire-breathing dragons in Egypt by yourself!?"

"Where'd you hear that!? It was one and it wasn't a dragon! It was a genetically enhanced komodo dragon and it didn't breath fire it just had pyrokinesis abilities due to Psitanium exposure and Agents Nein and Poise helped me beat it!"

"Are you the secret long lost second cousin of Donald Trump?"

"No."

"Are you the forbidden birth child of Agents Nein and Vodello and because you weren't supposed to exist they sealed you away in a Psitanium rock for a long time but you eventually escaped and are seeking revenge on the parents you never knew!?"

"What is this!?" Raz had completed the task of lacing his boot and now stood up, drawing himself to his full height and towering over the girls, his cheeks red from anger, annoyance, and embarrassment, "Where do you guys get this!?"

"Oh my gosh, our fan clubs official magazine of course!" Said one of the girls, pulling a magazine seemingly out of nowhere, "It's 'PSI-Girl: The Magazine for Psychic Girls'! It details all of the latest and greatest from the fashions of today's most popular psychics to the hottest agents out there!" She flipped through the magazine as Raz raised an eyebrow, watching the other girls coo over him, "See, they dedicate the center section to the Youngest Psychonaut Ever in every issue! They call it 'Behind the Goggles'! Isn't it romantic!? There's always a new story!"

Razputin didn't think it was romantic at all. He thought it was the corniest, most disgusting, most chuck full of lies piece of bull he'd ever laid eyes on. The next time he got into contact with HQ, he'd tell them to give this 'PSI-Girl' magazine company a call and see what could be done about it…! It was slightly disturbing that people seemed to think that Sasha and Milla had some sort of secret, filthy, naughty relationship going on when everyone who read 'True Psychic Tales' knew the truth. Raz snorted and crossed his arms, glaring at all the giggling girls who now seemed to be daring one another to kiss pictures in the magazine.

"Whatever…!" He growled, "Just don't stalk me!" And he turned to leave but the girls all moved in front of him, blocking his way, "What now? Do you want me to autograph your stupid magazine?"

"Oh Agent Razputin, you're so cute!" It was the girl with the magazine and she appeared to be the leader of this Fan Club, "We don't want you to sign anything; not yet anyway; we want your cloths!"

"WHAT!?" Raz started backing away, "ARE YOU NUTS!? WHAT KIND OF THINGS DO PARENTS LET THEIR KIDS WATCH THESE DAYS!?"

The ten year old girls really didn't seem so innocent anymore. One of them reached for his pant leg and he jumped about a foot in the air. It seemed there was only one way out of this.

"It's these kind of situations that we need backup in…!" He muttered, pulling down his bright orange Thought Bubble, "See ya'!" He bounced off the Bubble, over the heads of the girls, and soared through the air, landing on top of one of the cabins. The girls seemed to have been so stunned by his escape that they hadn't bothered to look where he'd landed; a little on the slow side, they were. Now they scurried about, calling his name, and whining. Raz turned invisible and slipped away towards the Wilderness, slinking past the trees and hiding in the shadows. He dropped his Invisibility when he was sure that the Fan Girls were far enough away and leaned back against a tree with a heavy sigh. Those girls would probably be following him all over camp if they could.

_Well, that would just be an unwanted hassle, wouldn't Raz?_

"What?" Raz looked around to see if there was anyone in his telepathy range but he was alone in woods lining the fence around the GPC, "Who's there?"

_Nice of you to forget me, Raz, that kind of hurts! Come on, I've been asleep for about, what, nine years? Is it so hard to remember me?_

"Who…are you? For that matter **where** are you?"

_It's Rixintine. Or Rix if you like! Come on Raz, let's go set stuff on fire…just to watch it burn…!_

The last thing Raz remembered was an insane cackle of laughter and a searing pain in his head. Then a crack like a snapping branch and he fell into an icy cold darkness.

----

"You can take those unreliable maps and just burn them up! I'm going to take those hidden truths, and snatch them in the palm of my hand!" –Ready, Steady, Go by L'ArcenCiel

I think I'm going to do that from now on just to be a freaky little weirdo! Put a line from a song at the beginning or end of a chapter just because I can! Well, whatever.

Rixintine is here! What's he going to set on fire? I wonder…?

Ugh, those fan girls make me sick, I can't believe I wrote them…


	8. Fire, Water, Ice, Wake Up!

Alright, alright, alright! I'm working on the freaking fan fiction! Even though I feel like I've got a bazillion of these things going at once…! Even though I don't…! I'm trying to write this but I keep getting distracted by my KH/J&D X-over I promised people and my Danny Phantom ff idea…! AAAHHHHHG! (slams her head into the desk) Stop! Someone shut the door to ideas in my head before I explode or something!

Okay, so, here's the chapter…

**Eight: Fire, Water, Ice…Wake Up!**

It was the sunlight that made him grin, the feeling of real warmth on his skin. His skin! This was real! He yanked off the gloves on his hands, stuffing them in his back pocket, and brushed his finger tips on the tree nearest him. He could **feel** this! All he'd ever known was ice and cold and here was the warmth of the sun and smooth whisper of a breeze on his face and…he was a part of it. He…was…Rixintine…!

Memories were one thing, looking at the pictures of what the real world looked like, unable to touch them, but reality was mind-boggling! Rix chuckled at the thought. Mind-boggling; he'd made a funny…! He watched the shadows dancing across the grass for a while until a few sparks leapt from nowhere and erased a patch of the green coating. Fire…so beautiful and untamable; a wild spirit. Just like him. A sneer traced Rixintine's lips, his green eyes flashing, and he started off down a worn dirt path, relishing the feeling of the earth beneath his boots. He was free of that cursed little ice box for the time being and he was going to enjoy it with every ounce of joy he had. Razputin, the fool, didn't realize just how lucky he was to have Rix, most people had to deal with their problems alone and carry the heavy burden by themselves but Rixintine had been shouldering most of Raz's pain from the boy for years now. Locked away in that frozen Hell-hole in a forgotten part of the young Psychonaut's mind, Rixintine had been taking care of the things that emotionally hurt Raz since he was a child. But Raz didn't know…Raz didn't care…

"But now you'll care, Razputin," Rixintine murmured under his breath, "Now you'll care about me a lot because I'm going to sew up that huge hole that Lili put in your heart. I'm going to make everything better…!"

"Hey! Razputin!" At first, Rixintine didn't respond to the name but when it was shouted louder, he paused and looked over his shoulder to see a stooped old man with a glowing purple rock strapped to his back waddling towards him, "Razputin! It's good to see you again! Long time, no see! What's you been up too?"

"Who're you?" The words slipped out of Rix's mouth before he could stop himself; he hadn't been in a decent conversation with anyone before, "I mean, how're you?"

"Well, old, boy!" The man chortled, slapping his leg, grinning, "But still insane if you know what I mean! But enough of that, I haven't seen you in two years! Where ya' been!?"

"Uuhhhhhh…" Rixintine was at a lose for words; he didn't know this guy, didn't know or care what Raz had been doing for the past two years, only wanted to find Lili and teach her a lesson, "Um…I…well, I…" He rubbed his bare hands up and down the sleeve of his sweater, "I've been…at…the circus…" He finally answered lamely, "Why do you care?"

The old man appeared taken aback,

"Geez, did you get up on the wrong side of bed today? It's not like you to be so moody!"

"Shut up!" Rixintine snapped, pain flashing briefly through his head as Raz stirred, "You don't know anything about me, stupid old man!" And he turned and ran down the path before the guy could say anything.

"_What!? What was that!? Why'd I say that!? Ford! Ford! What's going on? Where am I? Is this…a cell!? A prison of ice!? Hello! Somebody!? Anybody! Get me out! What's going on!? What is this place!?"_

_Shut your trap Raz! _Rixintine smirked at the distress he was feeling that didn't belong to him, _Shut up and go back to sleep…! I'm going to make everything better…!_

"_Wha-!?"_ But there was a buzz of static and then silence. Raz was asleep again. For the time being. It was only a matter of time before he awoke again and tried to take over. It seemed that if Rix ran into someone Raz knew, Raz reacted. Well, he'd just have to avoid anyone Raz knew. Trouble was, Rixintine didn't know who it was he should be avoiding. He shrugged, why worry about it, and took off again, heading down the path to some place he did not know.

Insects droned in the background, the scent of pine hung thickly in the air, the breeze cool against his cheek. He could almost consider this paradise. Almost. Except for her. Except for Lili. Once Lili was gone, **then** it would be paradise. A paradise that Razputin would be sure to gladly share with him for getting rid of someone who had hurt them both so much. Rixintine emerged into a rather open area, through most of it was occupied with a huge building and several worn looking picnic tables.

"Razputin, darling!" Again, Rixintine had to force himself to react to the name. A woman in a brilliant dress was smiling and waving from a table. He cocked his head at her and made his way over carefully, stopping just out of arm's reach.

"Um, hey." He said, pushing some stray locks of red-brown hair back under his goggles, "Erm…what's up?"

"There was a group of girls looking for you, sweetie!" She stood up, brushing herself off, and smiled at him again.

"Fan girls…!" Rix growled, clenching his fists, "I hate 'em…!" He starred at a patch of flowers until they erupted into flames, quickly dying out as he rung his power back in.

"Razputin! That's dangerous! It's not like you to set things on fire!"

"Well maybe you don't know everything!" Rix stuck his tongue out childishly and turned away, dashing past the lady towards something green-blue, sparkling on the horizon, just past the trees. She watched him go with curious eyes.

"_Milla? Was that Milla? Agent Vodello!? Can you hear me!? Where am I!? Who was that earlier!? Somebody talk to me! This doesn't feel right!"_

_Nothing was ever right for you, Razputin…!_ Rix ran past trees and down a wooden path way, heavy boots thudding on the old timber, _That's why I'm trying to fix it! I know she's here somewhere! She was always here! But you have to sleep right now, Raz, you're distracting me…! If you want this done and done right you have to be quiet and sleep. After all, I'm doing this for you…_

"_Who are-?"_ A blast of static made Rixintine cringe and skid to a halt, falling to his knees and clutching his head. It wasn't long before Raz took control again. He **had** to find Lili and get it over with now! He stood up but his legs were shaking too much for him to support his body and he leaned heavily upon the railing, gasping as the pain pounded faintly away. Razputin was stronger than he thought. Shaking himself, Rixintine stood up straight and continued down the walk, eventually arriving at the waterfront. The water in Lake Oblongata was an almost murky greenish-blue but it still gleamed with surfaced diamonds in the sunlight and lapped peacefully at the edges of the sand where footprints of kids, birds, and other wildlife were scattered. Rixintine stepped forward, fascinated by the water. The only form of liquid he'd ever seen was frozen.

"Why're you so terrified of water, Razputin?" He asked the sleeping entity in his head, not expecting an answer, "Why do you want to scream and run at the sight of it? Should I make water go away too?"

But he wasn't afraid of water. He wasn't afraid of anything. Grinning, he plunged into the water, soaking himself, not caring. He waded in until he was standing on his tip toes to keep his head above the surface; he didn't know how to swim. It was then that something grabbed his ankle and dragged him down and out into the deeper parts of the lake. He cried out, swallowing water, and then the sun went out. Actually, he was underwater, the liquid stinging his eyes, blurring his vision, bubbles flying in a flurry around him as he struggled against whatever it was that was pulling him down…down…down…

His green eyes snapped towards his ankle and saw a glowing neon green hand, disembodied, seeming to come from the water itself, yanking him down. Another hand came out and grabbed his arms, pinning them to his sides as the first one pinned his legs together. He twisted and writhed but it was fruitless, he could not get free, and his lungs were burning. He shouted, releasing his last supply of air, and choked, inhaling water. What a stupid way to die. Dragged under water by some stupid hands.

_Not…me…!_ The water around Rixintine's body turned icey cold, frigid, crackling with ice fragments. The hands themselves became coated in a thick layer of ice and immediately let go of Rix who struggled his way to the surface and slumped onto shore, his legs still hanging in the water. He coughed up lake water, nearly choking, and panted, limbs numb and weak, his whole body shaking. So that's why Raz was terrified of water.

""_Why am I near the water!? Why am I so close to it! Oh gosh, run away! Run! No! It already got me once! I'm soaking wet! Run away! Run as fast as you can! RUN!"_

A paralyzing fear that was part and yet not part of him shot through Rixintine and he looked over his shoulder fearfully at the water licking at the shore like it was trying to reach for, to drag him back down. To kill him.

"_Get away from there! Run me! Run! Why am I just lying there!? Why!? Get up and run! GET AWAY! Run as fast as you can! Water is bad! Water is EVIL! RUN, RUN, RUN!"_

Rixintine scrambled shakily to his feet and bolted into the twilight, running away as fast as he could. He didn't know where he was running to he was just running. Running to get away from the water, running to get away from the fear, running to get away from the stench of death that had saturated his senses when he'd been lying helplessly on the beach. He stumbled out of some bushes and almost ran into Sasha Nein who looked over in surprise.

"Where were you?" He whispered in a low voice, "Morry's speech started ten minutes ago. Where have you been? And why are you soaking wet?"

"None of your freaking business!" Rix hissed back, shivering despite the large fire; it was freezing cold, "So just butt out, Scum of the Earth!" And he scooted away to stand closer to the lady who had noticed him before. Then he saw **her**.

The anger that bubbled up inside him made him feel like his insides were on fire and his fingertips burned against his icy skin. She was the one who'd ripped Raz's heart into tiny pieces and left him laying in the gutter all broken up inside. He could do it now, he could…but there were too many people. And he'd had enough for one day. He needed to sleep. He sighed and withdrew; back into the cold, back into the darkness, back into the part of Raz's mind that had been forgotten.

Razputin gasped as cold flooded him and his heart thumped loudly in his chest, his breaths coming in shorts bursts. He nearly collapsed but warm gloved hands caught him and supported his shaking legs. He looked over his shoulder and saw Milla looking worriedly at him. He smiled weakly at her and pushed himself upright, finally noticing that he was soaking wet.

"Are you alright, darling?" She whispered and he nodded, throat sore, and gave Sasha a thumbs up, pushing soaking wet hair from his green eyes. What was that? What had happened? He remembered his head hurting outside the GPC unit and when he'd next opened his eyes, he'd seen himself yelling at Ford and running off. That's when he had noticed he was chained to a wall in an ice prison. Then a voice had told him to sleep and he'd passed out. It had happened twice more and then he was back, standing in the Campfire Area, listening to Oleander's speech.

For the remainder of the speech, he stood back in the shadows, out of sight of the fan girls and anyone else. Except for one person. It appeared that someone had been watching his every move since he'd showed up at the Campfire. Lili. She was glaring at him with such rage in her eyes that Raz thought he was going to get set on fire. As Oleander filed the children out towards their cabins with Milla and Sasha's help, Lili stomped up to him.

"What the heck are you doing here!?" She snarled at him and he took a step backwards, taken aback by her anger, "I thought you would have had enough sense to stay away! I'm done with you, Raz! You got that! This is your entire fault anyway! You're the one who was never really there!"

As she paused for breath, Raz took his chance to cut in, pushed to the limit.

"I can be here if I want to!" He barked, rearing over her, "You can't tell me what to do! I don't **care** if I wasn't good enough for you! You didn't have to go and…and…put me through freaking Hell!"

And he wheeled away and ran towards the Counselor's Lodge, ignoring Lili's foul language calls for him to get back there and she'd show him just what Hell was. When he reached the Lodge, he dove into his old bedroom and slammed the door shut, locking it behind him. Then he slid down onto the floor, breathing heavily, covering his face with his hands, shivering partially because he was wet and cold and partially because of what had just transpired. His eyes burned with the tears he fought off and he longed to hit something but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt completely drained.

"_I can take care of her for you Razputin, I can make it all better…!"_

"Know what happened last time you tried to make it all better, you stupid voice!?" Raz snapped at thin air, "I almost killed my little brother! Don't you **ever** tell me you can fix things! Because you can't!" And he drew his knees up to his chin burying his face in his arms, back pressed against the door, still shivering. A heavy silence, then…

"_Raz…I've fixed things before…remember…along time ago…when you were still a little kid and your Dad wouldn't let you use your psychic powers…remember me?"_

Raz thought about it. He didn't remember a voice but he remembered…

"Rixintine…" The name was familiar on his tongue, "Rix…he was my imaginary friend, the one who helped me feel better…when…Dad…was…"

"_That's right Raz. And I'm back to make everything better again. Only this time, I've got special powers too…and I'm not imaginary anymore…I'm __**real**__…! Thanks for that one…my precious, precious Razputin…"_

Shaking his head, getting to his feet, Raz peeled off his wet garments, trying to convince himself that he was just imagining the voice. But that voice kept chanting 'Rixintine' over and over and over again. And that's how Raz finally fell asleep; curled, still shivering beneath his blankets, the last echoes of the voice ringing in his head, Rixintine's name etched into his faded dreams like some ominous prediction of terrible things to come.

-----

"This one goes out to the one I love. This one goes out to the one I left behind…Fire!" – the one i love by R.E.M.

Gah! It took me freaking forever to finish this chapter! I was getting so distracted by everything else and then we had a butt-load of snow and I had chores and blah, blah, blah! AHHHHHHHG! Okay, okay, okay…! Um, I really don't have anything to say so…thanks for reading and hope to see you in the next chapter! Bye-bye!


	9. To Slam A Revolving Door Shut

I'm totally out of sorts lately. I haven't **touched** my Multi-Media English project which is in desperate need of work as is my project for Advanced Drawing. Plus, I got a part in the school play so I'm going to be stupid busy! So for people waiting for updates my sincerest apologies!

P.S. The Bourne series is awesome! (Identity, Supremacy, and Ultimatum)

**Nine: To Slam A Revolving Door Shut**

Raz didn't want to wake up the next morning. He rolled around in his bed, getting tangled in the covers, threw his arms over his face, murmured incoherently, and made a general mess out of the whole situation before it finally became apparent he wasn't going to get back to sleep. He yawned, stretched, slid out of bed, and stumbled over to the window in semi-darkness. The teen yanked the curtains open, squinting at the sunlight, and made his way over to his dresser where all his cloths were stashed. Since it really was the first full day of camp all of the kids would be in Basic Braining (the poor things), leaving Sasha and his lab free for the day!

Raz tugged on a pair of taupe pants enthusiastically, pulled a cream colored long-sleeved shirt with the words 'Insanity Drives Me Crazy' printed on it in orange letters over his head, and yanked on his boots, snatching his goggles and gloves as he left the room. He crept past the kitchen, hoping to get straight to Sasha's lab, but…

"Razputin, darling, I know you're awake!"

Raz sighed, smiling, and walked into the large kitchen that doubled as a dining room, flopping down at the table and dropping his goggles around his neck, shoving his gloves in his back pocket.

"I made some pancakes, sweetie," Milla put a plate of three, steaming hotcakes before him along with a bottle of syrup and a glass of milk, "You can see Sasha after you have a **decent **breakfast…!"

It was that comment that made Raz wonder what it was that Sasha had had for breakfast. He drowned the pancakes after thanking Agent Vodello, practically inhaled them, downed the milk, grabbed a Monster from the fridge, and bolted out the front door before the Brazilian agent could stop him. The clean, crisp morning air tasted like minted-flavored ice as the young Psychonaut inhaled deeply, telekinetically holding his energy drink off to the side as he pushed his goggles onto his head. Then he dropped into the Transport System, strapped himself in, took a sip of Monster, and told the female voice to take him to Agent Nein's lab.

The ride wasn't as jerky as he remembered but it still jostled him around enough to make him speculate if he'd eaten those pancakes a little **to** fast. Raz scrambled out of the tree stump as soon as the system stopped and walked across the tile floor of Sasha's lab, sipping his Monster as he went.

Not much had changed in two years; it was still crowded with boxes and books, the stained glass stairs were still leading up towards the GPC, there were still a few chairs and hole-speckled slabs of steel that the German Psychonaut called art, and there was still the Brain Tumbled in all of its ominously huge glory. Sasha was nowhere in sight and Raz wondered if the guy was actually out and about in the early morning hours. Then there was a resounding clang, a German curse word, and a wrench spun across the floor to stop at Raz's feet. He picked it up and trotted over to the Brain Tumbler where he found Sasha laying on his back beneath the lowered machine, covered in grease with bolts, nuts, and other parts and tools scattered about him.

"'Morning Sasha!" He grinned and the man scowled, his gray-blue eyes flashing.

"Razputin, have you seen my wrench?"

"Yeah," The youth dropped the tool into the agent's hand, "What's wrong with the Brain Tumbler?"

"Some hooligans…messing with things they didn't understand…!" Sasha was obviously livid with rage at the very thought, "I've been fixing this thing for the past year!" He held two wires together and telekinetically twisted another wire around them, connecting the two, "And that should do it. Finally…"

He scooted out from under the machine and tried to brush himself off but only succeeded in smearing grease all over himself. Raz hid his smile by taking another swing of Monster.

"So it's okay if I use it, right?" He asked as Sasha stepped up to the control panel, wiping his hands on a rag.

"Of course," The German's slightly monotone way of speaking had returned and so had his cool, "I would like to better understand this strange case of MPD you seem to have concocted. It may be more intricate than what I first thought. Are you ready?"

Raz drained his Monster, tossed the can into the garbage (waster), and snapped his tinted goggles over his green eyes, pulling his gloves on and giving the elder Psychonaut a thumbs up and a grin.

"Let's get this thing over with!" He said cockily, stepping up to the Brain Tumbler, "Beam me up, Agent Nein!"

"Beam me up…" He thought he heard Sasha mutter as he tapped something into his controls, "I'm pulling you out if anything critical or life-threatening should occur, are we clear on that, Razputin?"

Raz didn't answer, just nodded. Then he winced as what felt like a hot poker was jostled around inside his head and he fell into a swirling mass of green-blue. He'd never get used to this; the feeling of vertigo, of not knowing up from down, of feeling like you're going to fall forever. He felt his feet land on the solid path of the Collective Unconsciousness and the boy stretched his arms upward before proceeding down the path to find his own door.

"I'm a cowboy…!" He sang as he strolled along, "On a steel horse I riiiiiidddeee…!"

"_Razputin, can you hear me?"_

"And I'm waaaaaannnnnttttteeeeddddd!" The teen purposely held the note longer than necessary, grinning because he knew he was annoying Sasha, "Dead or aliiiiiiiiiiive!"

"_Razputin! This is serious!"_

"Oh look!" He acted as though he hadn't heard his fellow agent, "My door!"

Indeed, it hadn't actually taken him that long to find it, despite the numerous amount of people he'd met over the years his own door still sent a feeling of warmth coursing through his spine. He stepped into the blinding light and wandered into what seemed like endless fog and darkness.

"_Razputin, are you listening to me?"_

"Yes sir, Agent Nein, loud and clear!" Raz saluted to no one as he approached the caravan, "And I'm coming up on the cara-hold on!" He stopped walking, starring at the sight, "Hey, Sasha, there's two doors now. The one that's usually there and the other one…it looks like it got set on fire from the inside out!"

"_Hmmmm…compelling. Go inside. Perhaps that is where your problem resides."_

Raz hesitated,

"Um…Sasha…I…uh…sort of forgot to mention something…"

"_And what was that?"_

"Well, last night, in my room, a voice in my head told me that he; the voice; was Rixintine. Rixintine was the name I gave to my imaginary friend when I was little."

"_Are you saying that perhaps this Rixintine is the cause of your MPD?"_

"Maybe." Raz pressed a hand on the second door, "I'm not saying so for sure; it's just a theory and I thought you should know."

"_I'm going to monitor the energies that are making up whatever is behind the second door, Razputin. That should give us our answer."_

"Right." Raz pushed the door open and stepped into a sub-zero hallway made of ice. The door slammed shut behind him and a blast of static ripped at his ears.

"Ow…! Sasha? Sasha, you there?"

There was no answer. He was alone. Surely Sasha would pull him out? Raz automatically reached for his Smelling Salts…and then realized he'd left his bag in his room. What a predicament. Cursing his stupidity, he realized that the only thing left to do was to keep moving forward. Shivering slightly, the youth walked down the hall and opened the ice door at the other end, stepping into a room resembling the throne room of a castle.

"_Razputin? Razputin, can you hear me?"_

"Sasha!" Raz stopped on the threshold, looking towards the vaulted ceiling, "What happened back there!? There was static and then…!"

"_Interference."_ The German's voice responded, _"But I got past it. Where are you?"_

"Ah…it's like a throne room made of ice with columns and a few other doors. Um, and across the room from me, on the opposite wall, there's a dais with an ice throne and…I'm…sleeping on it."

"_You're sleeping on the throne?"_

"Well, I mean, it can't be **me** because **I'm** me. It just…**looks** like me!" Raz walked slowly into the throne room, never taking his eyes off of the person who looked like him, He's got my goggles but he's wearing something weird. All red and white and black with silver crosses."

The figure that resembled the Youngest Psychonaut Ever stirred suddenly, cracking his eyes open, stretching, yawning, getting to his feet. Raz noticed he wasn't wearing any shoes.

"_Razputin? What's going on? There's been an upsurge of psychic energy that doesn't belong to you. Razputin!? Razputin, answer me!"_

"Annoying scum." Muttered the Replica Raz, waving his hand. A blast of cold air and a screech of static made Raz's shivering all the more violent.

"Sasha?" Raz called again, teeth chattering, "Sasha, you there!?"

"Raz!?" An amazed voice that sounded so similar to his own echoed through the room and green eyes reflected in the red-tint of Raz's goggles, "Razputin…!? But…how!?"

"Who're you!?" Raz stepped back a bit, raising two fingers to his temple, "And what're you doing inside my head!?"

"It's me…Rixintine!" The Replica patted himself on the chest, smiling, walking slowly across the floor, "Don't worry Raz, I've got everything under control! It's so nice of you to come and visit me! Just let me take a look into your memories and I'll have this all sorted out in no time!"

"Rixintine!? Rix! It **is** you!" Raz dropped his hand to his side, unsure of whether to be angry or not, "My imaginary friend!"

"Only, I'm not imaginary anymore!" Rix stood about a foot away, just grinning.

"No. But you are an intrusion into my psyche." Raz muttered, going into 'Psychonaut mode', "You need to leave."

"Leave?" Rix's face fell, "Leave?" His green eyes narrowed, "Why would I want to do that? Sleep for who knows how many years, wake up, and then disappear!? I don't think so!" The air around Raz became still and frozen and it hurt to breath, "I'm here to help you fix your broken heart Razputin and that's exactly what I intend to do!"

Ice stalagmites erupted at Raz's feet and the Psychonaut back flipped out of the way, slipped, slammed face first into the floor, and spun across the ice. He scrambled to his feet but Rixintine hadn't moved, still watching him blankly, hands at his sides.

"Wh-wh-what d-do you really w-want!?" Raz's speech was broken by his violent shaking, the cold seeping into his bones and muscles, paralyzingly icy, "I d-don't t-t-trust you!"

"You don't have to trust me." Rixintine still hadn't moved, "And I don't want anything else but to help you…!" His features splintered into an evil grin, "Though I did like being out in the real world and I kind of want to stay that way!" He started moving towards Raz.

"Stay back!" Raz tried to scoot backwards but found that while he'd been distracted ice had crept up his legs and locked him to the floor. Frustrated, he conjured up a Confusion Grenade and threw it with all his might at Rix but Rixintine just blasted it away with a cold wind.

"This mind doesn't just belong to you!" He snarled at the struggling Raz who was now up to his waist in ice, "You have to share it with me!"

"I n-n-never w-was good at sh-sharing!" Razputin chuckled weakly, "But I c-c-can sure s-s-s-set this stupid p-p-palace on f-fire!"

"Not a snowball's chance in Hell, Razputin." Rixintine whispered though it was clearly audible in the silence, "Nothing can melt this place. It's not made of regular ice by cyrokinesis; which I have mastered, by the way; it's built of all the terrible memories that you'd rather keep locked away inside."

"Th-th-that explains the f-f-f-f-freezing t-t-t-temperature!" Raz tilted his head up, trying to keep himself from being completely consumed by the ice that had solidified the rest of him.

"Raz, Lili put a big hole in our heart," Rix looked lost in some sort of twisted fantasy, "And I'm going to fix that hole so I think it's better if you just stay here for a while." His smile turned into a wicked sneer, "**I** want to be outside Raz. So, while you stay here, all nice and refrigerated, I'm going to go out and…burn some more stuff! How's that sound to you?"

"Mmmmh! Mmmmmhhp!" Razputin twisted this way and that as much as he could but the ice that had been over his arms had crept up his shoulders and was now covering his mouth so he couldn't speak. He was going to be frozen solid! "Mh-mh!" MMMMHHH!"

Rixintine just stood up and laughed. His laughter bounced around the hall, echoing eerily, like there were a million Rixintine's laughing at Raz's helplessness. Razputin himself was so numb that he thought there was ice inside his head too and as the frozen substance crawled over one of the lenses of his goggles, he just gave up. What a stupid way to go, locked inside his own head by his other ego? How dumb.

But then Rix stopped laughing and was shouting. At least, Raz thought he was shouting, the ice had covered his ears now so he couldn't tell. There was another voice too, no wait, two other voices. Neither of them sounded happy either. There was a resounding crash and the next thing Raz knew he was sprawled on the floor of Sasha's lab, still freezing cold with voices ringing around him.

"Get his goggles off, darling!" Someone yanked at his goggles, pulling them off and tossing them aside but he was too weak to move. He was aware that his eyes were open, partially, and that he was is Sasha's lab but that was the extent of his knowledge. He couldn't even tell if he was breathing or not.

"Move him onto the chair, Sasha, we can't have him on the floor…!" Was that Milla? What was she doing here? She hated Sasha' lab, said it had no taste…

He was conscious of the fact that he was being moved through the air and was set down again on something softer than the floor but he was still to numb to know what was going on. Oh crap, did his head hurt. He tried to talk but only started coughing and something warm splattered across his lips. Someone screamed.

"Milla, it's alright!" Sasha's voice sounded strained, "It's just a little blood!"

Blood? Raz's body was wracked with spasms of shakes as he fought off the cold. Why was he so cold? That ice palace hadn't been real, he shouldn't be cold. He coughed again and then felt someone gently wiping at his mouth with a cloth, warm fingers touched his cheek, and then moved down his neck to feel for a pulse, and then pulled away.

"There's a beat, Milla, there's a pulse." Razputin's eyelids felt heavy but he didn't want to sleep, if he slept Rix would get him. And Rix couldn't get out. If Rixintine got out then he'd hurt people.

"_I wouldn't hurt anyone, Raz…"_ Rix's voice said sadly as another wave of cold washed over Razputin's body, _"I just like to burn stuff. But I don't like her, Raz. I hate her for hurting us. And I want to hurt her back…"_

"He's so cold, darling, will he be alright?" Raz had never heard Milla's voice shake so much before.

Sasha said something but Raz couldn't make it out. Milla said something back but everything was going dark and he was so cold and so tired and his head and his chest hurt so bad he just wanted to sleep and make it all go away…

----

"Go from me! Yet I feel that I shall stand, Henceforward in thy shadow, Go from me!" –Amethyst Remembrance from I Held A Jewel In My Fingers by Emily Dickinson, music arrangement by Tsuneyoshi Saito

Yes! Possibly one of the best chapters in all of SASTSS! Maybe, we'll see! I like doing any scene that involves Rix and Raz snarling at each other. Hee hee! Alright, let's see. That song that Raz is singing is (I don't know if I got the words right) 'Dead or Alive' by Bon Jovi. That scene with him singing wasn't originally there when I first wrote this on notebook paper but I wanted something more to rub at Sasha's already raw nerves. I'm so mean…!

Well, stay tuned for the tenth chapter! Yeah! Double digits! Finally! This isn't going anywhere…I'm so lame…! On a separate note, I don't drink energy drinks but I always pictured teenaged Raz with a can of Monster or something similar.

And also, if you want to see Rix's outfit, just go to hosekidragon. (I think I got that right) and browse my gallery. I've got some Psychonaut stuff in there…!


	10. Frozen In Indigo

I started writing this on New Year's Eve! I just got bored of playing video games and waiting for midnight so I figured I could at least get something done! Enjoy! (total Writer's Block going on, I just know it)

**Ten: Frozen in Indigo**

There was empty silence; peaceful, healing, silence. Raz took a deep, shaky breath, and exhaled slowly without opening his eyes. It hurt to breath, it hurt to move, it hurt to think; his head was pounding like a blacksmith's anvil. But the silence was beautiful. He would have smiled if he had the strength to. He was cold too. Not as cold as the ice palace had been but still cold.

_The ice palace!_ Green blazed brightly against a dim setting as Raz remembered what had happened, _Frozen! I've been frozen solid! Dead!_

"Razputin?" Achingly, he turned his head to see Ford sitting in a chair by the bed. Apparently, he wasn't frozen solid in the ice castle but was instead in the Counselor's Lodge, in his own room, in his own bed, under a mountain of blankets.

"Ford?" He rasped, wincing slightly as sharp needles of pain stabbed his chest, "What…where are Sasha and Milla?"

"Taking care of the youngins." Ford smiled at him, "Nice to see you're still with us, kid, I thought we'd lost you for a minute there. Gave Agent Vodella a scare; haven't seen her like that in almost…well…not in a long time."

Raz bit his lip, feeling guilty. Knowing what he did about Milla, he felt terrible about her having found out about his ordeal in his own mind. She had probably cried. Raz hated it when he made people cry; it tore him to pieces inside. That made him think of Rixintine and a spark of rage flared inside him.

"What happened to Rixintine?" He asked in a low voice that was still broken by his sore throat; his mouth tasted sweet and metallic. Blood.

"Ah, Sasha told me about your MPD there, Razputin," The Psitanium on the old man's back sparkled in the dim light; the curtains were drawn in the afternoon sun and the lights were off, "And he also told me not to talk to you about it."

"What!?" Raz snapped and then immediately wished he hadn't as a painful wave of cold swept over him and pins and needles prickled across his numb flesh.

"Sasha is as Sasha does." Ford chuckled and then stopped when he saw that Raz found this anything but funny, "Raz, he'll fill you in, don't worry about it. I'm just here for medical purposes."

"Meaning?"

"This." Ford whipped out a needle, snatched Raz's arm from beneath the covers, and injected the liquid inside directly into the young Psychonaut's blood stream. Raz didn't even feel the needle puncture his skin.

"What's that for?" He asked as Agent Cruller shoved his arm back beneath the blankets.

"Sleeping serum." The old man replied, "I really hate needles, give me heebie jeebies, but no, everyone else is too busy so they leave it to Ford!" He almost looked like he was pouting, "But I'll tell you this Razputin, you were out for most of yesterday and Sasha wants to keep you under until tonight. Don't ask me why, I don't know. But that German is smart, smarter than most, and he knows what he's doing. So don't worry."

"Ford…" Raz felt the serum taking effect, his eyes felt heavy, "Can you do something for me…just a little thing…huh?"

"What's that?" The old man's voice sounded far off.

"Lili…" He whispered, closing his eyes, falling into the darkness, "Tell Lili…that…it's all her…fault…that he's…back…" And he faded.

----

Raz woke to an empty bedroom the next day. Or what he assumed was the next day. It seemed like dawn. He stretched his stiff body and found that he wasn't as cold as he had been but still a little chilly. Sitting up, he rubbed sleep from his eyes and pushed his covers off of him, sliding out of the bed and onto the floor. His legs collapsed under him and it was then that door opened.

"Razputin, darling, you're okay!" Milla dropped whatever it was she had been holding, flew across the room, and threw her arms around him, burying his face in her shoulder, "Oh, darling, I was so worried about you!" Her voice cracked and another spear of guilt stabbed at the teen; he patted her back gently.

"I'm okay, Milla, I'm sorry I worried you."

"No, sweetie," She stood up and telekinetically brought over whatever it was she had dropped in the doorway, "I'm alright, Sasha explained to me what was going on and wipe that stupid grin off your face young man!" She scolded as Raz grinned sheepishly, "This isn't funny, sweetie, you could have died!"

The realization of just how much what could have happened would have affected everyone around him hit Raz full force. If Rix won, that meant Lili would be gone. Because that's what Rix wanted…Lili totally out of the picture.

"Sorry…" Raz muttered, hanging his head, not bothering to push his reddish bangs out of his face as they tumbled into his eyes, "I…I really am…"

"Aw, now, sweetie, you don't have to be sorry. I'm not angry at you. Here," She pushed a bundle of cloths into his arms, "You're uniform. Now, once you're dressed you can come to the kitchen and I'll whip something up for you. How's that sound?"

"Awesome!" Raz pushed himself upright with trembling legs, "Is Sasha going to be in there? He owes me an explanation!"

"Of course, darling," Milla nodded and, after helping Raz stay steady on his feet, left him to get dressed.

"What a load of crap…" Razputin muttered as he yanked on his blue-black jeans, "I've got to get this thing figured out right now…!" He tugged his sweater over his head and slipped into his hooded vest, "But first," A grin spilt his features, "Breakfast!"

Agents Nein and Vodello were waiting for him in the kitchen, bacon, eggs, French toast, orange juice, and steaming muffins on the table. Sasha looked like he wasn't going to touch any of the stuff even though he had a helping of eggs and bacon on his plate already probably put there by Milla. He also looked extremely worn out. Raz sat down opposite the German Psychonaut, loaded his plate and dove in, avoiding looking anywhere but at his plate. When he was finished, he pushed the plate away and trained his green eyes directly upon Sasha's tinted glasses.

"Tell me what happened." He demanded, adjusting his goggles on top of his head, "I remember being frozen in the ice castle and then…" He trailed off, biting his lip, brow furrowed as he tried to recall just how he'd escaped.

"I lost mental contact with you, Razputin," Sasha shook his head, flicking a strand of black hair from his face, "And when I couldn't pull you out of your own mind I started…to…worry." He quickly continued, "When I turned to check on you, you were coated in frost. I quickly contacted Agent Vodello and we entered your mind via Psycho-Portal." He paused as though he didn't want to continue.

"And…?" Raz prompted, fist clenching under the table.

"We entered the caravan through the door you had described to me and found you on the floor of the ice palace, encased in ice. Razputin, we thought you had died. And then we saw Rixintine. We fired a few shots at him but he disappeared; sank into the floor."

"And then we cracked you out of that shell, darling." Milla picked up where her partner had left off, "And came back into the real world. But…" Her voice started shaking again and Sasha reached up hesitantly to pat her arm.

Raz starred at the patterns swirling on the wooden table top, thinking. There were a lot of strange things going on and a lot of them didn't make sense. He wanted to ask Sasha about them but he didn't want to be a burden and cause anyone anymore grief. Especially to Agent Vodello.

"Razputin, if you have any questions you should probably ask them now," Agent Nein seemed to have read his mind (which he probably had), "Because the PSI Cadets will be getting up soon and you'll be helping in their training."

"Rixintine…" Raz almost whispered the name, "Why's he there, in my head?"

"You created him, darling," Milla said, "But when you got older, he should have disappeared."

"He told me that ice castle was made of all the bad memories I want to forget." Raz muttered, still starring at the table top.

"He imprinted himself into your psyche; I've seen this sort of thing before but not to an extent such as yours." Sasha said flatly, pushing his glasses back onto his face, "Your psychic energy was so powerful that you created a whole new entity inside your own head without realizing it. But your subconscious recognized your folly and put up mental blockades around Rix; blockades of pain, sorrow, and anger, things you'd never want to go near. But still, Rixintine flourished off of those feelings and made himself what he is now. When we first met, Razputin, it wasn't your head alone we were trying to penetrate…it was also Rix's rather primitive one."

Raz felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. But wait, why hadn't Rix come out before then? Why had he stayed holed up in his pain, and, sorrow, and misery all this time? Raz voiced his question aloud, still not looking anywhere but at the table top.

"Because part of you wouldn't let him out, Razputin." Sasha rested his chin in one hand and picked up his coffee cup with the other, "It wasn't until something truly heart breaking hit you that Rix escaped. At least, that's the conclusion I've come is. Rixintine got out because he wanted to protect you from the heart break but he couldn't do it all by himself. Apparently, it shattered the psychic energies that made him stable; he's wavering in and out of existence now, Razputin. He believes that if he can take control of you, then he can exist forever. Rixintine is a childhood make-believe friend who wants to exist."

Raz bristled. This was Lili's fault. All Lili's fault. If she hadn't been so…so…**stupid** and broken up with him then Rixintine wouldn't have come out and he wouldn't be having to worry about hurting the people close to him. All Lili's fault. All Lili's fault.

"So why's he such a big fat problem!?" Raz shouted, swearing loudly, "Why's it matter he can exist?"

"Darling, don't you see?" Milla asked as Agent Nein kneaded his forehead with the heels of his hands, "Rix is willing to destroy you in order to become real and take whatever vengeance he believes he deserves to hand out. He almost killed you today. He's become dangerous because of the psychic powers he's picked up from you; not to mention that cyrokinesis of his; and because he knows what he wants and will stop at nothing to get it. Sweetie, if Rixintine kills you, there won't be a Razputin anymore, you won't exist, at least not in the sense of reality. Rix will have control to do whatever he wants…!" All three Psychonauts were silent; Milla went about clearing the table, Sasha took slow, periodic sips from his coffee, and Raz continued to stare blankly at the tabletop. If something Rix was doing to him in his head affected his real body then things could get bloody complicated. One thing was for certain; he could never let Rixintine gain control again. Ever. He may be angry at Lili but he wasn't angry enough to let her get hurt. Or killed. No, Rixintine had to be taken care of. And fast.

----

"The loneliness, And emptiness, Through the darkest night, Somehow I survive, Through it all." –Music Box by Mariah Carey

And now I've finished it on January 5, 2008. Hmph. I'm just taking my sweet little time with this, aren't I? Ah, I should be happy I'm working on this at all. I'm so lazy.

Well, things are certainly getting interesting, aren't they? Now the whole secret is out. Rix is practically bipolar because the psychic energies holding him together are weak but he's still oh so determined to take out Lili, Raz is in quite a state because he has to deal with Rix in his head, Lili snarling at him in the real world, and let's not forget the crazy ten year old psychic fan girls. Fun, fun, no?

Well, stay tuned. I'll have more…sometime or another. Heh…

Thanks for reading!


	11. In the Arms of Winter

I'm finally getting around to working on this again, it's been a while. Failure007 just raises her eyebrows at me when I mutter about how I should really start this thing up again and I just sort of grin stupidly. So, amazingly, chapter eleven!

Eh, and I'm totally sorry for the late update. Distractions, distractions, distractions.

**Eleven: In the Arms of Winter**

Though the day started out bright and sunny it quickly became gray and cloudy. By lunch it had started raining. The squealing and shouting of the young PSI Cadets echoed over the pounding rain as they ran towards the shelter of the Main Lodge. Boys laughed and girls screamed, mud and puddles splashing beneath their feet, rain drops flinging off their hair, most of them shivering with cold.

"Come on! Quit playing! Into the Lodge before you're all sick and have to go home!" Shouted a lanky figure in a dark brown trench coat with a hood pulled low over his head, "Quick! Or you're all going home!"

The kids all cried in alarm and dove through the doors. Raz followed them, pushing his hood back and slipping out of his trench coat. It was warm and cozy in the Main Lodge compared to the chill weather outside and Raz couldn't help but smile as he looked around at the PSI Cadets wringing out their hair and cloths. The smell of greasy burgers filled the air.

"_Cold, Raz?"_ The Psychonaut's smile dropped into a frown as that familiar voice chuckled in his head, _"How's about I warm this place up?"_

"Shut up." Raz growled under his breath and sat at a table as far away from his fan club as possible, "And go to sleep or whatever it is you do. Just leave me alone, Rix."

"_Awwwww, that hurts my feelings!"_

"I'm sure it does." Raz looked up as the door opened and then quickly looked away. Lili had just walked in with another batch of PSI Cadets. She scanned the room, saw Raz, and promptly sat on the farthest table away. Raz felt his cheeks grow hot and he was so flustered, upset, and trying to get a hold of himself that he didn't even notice agents Nein and Vodello entering and sitting opposite him.

"Razputin, darling, are you going to get anything to eat?" Milla brought him back down to earth, "I believe the hamburgers are."

BOOM! A crash of thunder made them all jump. A few moments later the lights flickered. Then they went out.

"Crap…" Raz muttered.

That's when the screaming started. The young PSI Cadets panicked in the darkness, screaming, running, and toppling over one another. Chef Cruller's angry shouts that his grill had died and the clanging of the spatula hitting the old metal grill only added to the chaos. Razputin sighed and kneaded his forehead with his fingertips. There was a spitting of wax and several candles were lit via pyrokinesis, sent to hover through the air.

"Children, calm down!" Milla called above the noise, raising several candles almost to the rafters in order to see better, "It's just a power outage!" All the campers froze and starred up at the Brazilian agent with wide eyes, "Good. Now, children, Sasha and I are going to take you back to the Cabin Area but you need to stay calm…!"

"Then what am I going to do?" Raz asked as the two older agents began to gather up the kids, "Stand here and look stupid?"

"You and Lili are going to search the camp together and make sure all the children are back in the Kid's Cabin Area." Milla responded as Sasha began grumbling about children, "There's always one that wanders off."

"What!? But-!! But Milla, I-!! With Lili!?" His green eyes locked with his ex-girlfriend's amber ones and he saw them flash in rage, he snapped his gaze back to Milla, "B-but I-!"

"No buts, darling," She said firmly, her voice losing its softness, "Go. Now."

Sasha gave him a look over his tinted glasses that said Raz would rather be out in the storm with his P.O'd ex-girlfriend that inside and facing the wrath of a very angry Agent Vodello. Razputin's shoulder sagged and he shuffled over to Lili, several candles bobbing along behind him. She glared daggers at him.

"Milla wants us to-." He began.

"I know!" She snapped, pulling on her jacket, "Just don't…talk to me!"

He thought he saw a tear slide down her cheek as she turned away but it could just have been some rainwater. Torn between anger and sadness, Raz yanked on his trench coat and jerked his hood over his head. He knew this was going to end badly. In the back of his mind, he swore he could hear Rixintine muttering darkly. The pair stepped out into the rain following the PSI Cadets who were trailing after Sasha and Milla but Raz and Lili changed direction and headed for the Wilderness. Though they walked side by side, they ignored one another; Raz out of fear that Rixintine would do something and Lili out of pure rage. They wandered through the downpour, thunder pounding, lightning flashing, keeping an eye and mind open.

"_Let me at her, Razputin, and this will all be over!"_

_No!_ Raz scowled, shoving his hands deep into his trench coat pockets, _Just shut up and go away Rixintine!_

"_I won't go away! I'm going to help you, take care of you!_ Rixintine's voice was getting louder, Raz's head started hurting, _"Now…give…me…CONTROL!"_

"Ahhhhhg!" Raz dropped to his knees on the muddy path, his hood falling back as he dug his fingers into his redish hair, dislodging his goggles so that they tumbled to the ground.

"Razputin!?" Lili stopped and looked down at the teen in curiosity and a little worry, "What're you doing?"

"Ahhhh…" Raz was obviously in agony, his frame quivering, his shoulders hunched as he clutched his head, "Get away…" He grunted suddenly and when he spook again, his voice was harsher, darker, sounding angry even as he spoke desperate words, "No wait…stay…and help me…"

"Raz?" The young psychic girl crouched down in the mud, forgetting that she was supposed to be angry at the boy in front of her, forgetting that she was supposed to hate him, "Are you…okay?"

Razputin groaned again, rolling onto his back in the muddy path, now squishing out ooze of soaking dirt from between his fingers. He arched his back, eyes squeezed shut with pain, teeth visibly gritted in agony. He writhed around for a moment or two, the rain streaking across the mud splattered on his face, and then sagged back, keeping his eyes closed and his teeth ground together.

"Lili…get…out…" He rasped, no longer sounding so malevolent towards her but truly, utterly pathetic and helpless, "He wants…he wants to…to kill you…" The boy rolled over onto his stomach, pushing himself onto his hands and knees in the soft, wet, earth, his redish hair falling over his face.

"Who? Raz you're not making sense…! Who wants to kill me!?" It didn't occur to Lili that Raz could be lying. Raz rarely eve lied, "Who wants me dead?"

"ME!" The harsh, hatred filled voice snarled at her and a PSI Blast knocked her shoulder, sending her spinning into the mud. Shaking the dizziness from her mind, she looked up to see Razputin towering over her, rage evident in his fiery emerald gaze.

"You hurt us, Lili, did you know that?" If angry could physically manifest then it would be raining from the lips of the boy-who-wasn't-exactly-Raz like the rain that fell from the sky. Thunder exploded over their heads and a blaze of lightning made those livid green eyes glow for a split second, "Me…and Raz. Especially Raz. I don't care what you thought 'cause whatever you thought was wrong. And I'm not gonna let you hurt us again…!"

He raised a hand and the rain around it froze in mid air like some sort of real life Matrix effect. Then it condensed above his open palm, swirling into a ball of ice that slowly elongated into a rapier. Lili watched with horrid fascination. Razputin had never learned cyrokinesis, he'd never dared. So this, whoever this was, they were obviously not Raz.

"This'll make it all better!" The boy swung the ice blade down and Lili screamed, rolling out of the way as it slammed into the earth, splashing mud everywhere, "Quit running! It only makes it more fun!" He leered at her and suddenly his face crumpled, the ice rapier shattered into a million shards, and he dropped to his knees, screaming in agony only to have it drowned out by a roar of thunder.

"LILI!" It was Raz again, she'd know his voice anywhere, "Lili get up…and move…! Run…! Sahsa…! Get…Sasha…!"

"B-but Raz…!" Lili scrambled to her feet, backing away slightly as her ex-boyfriend trembled on the ground, soaking wet, just as she was, "Who was that-!?"

"Rixintine!" Raz moaned, curling over himself, arms wrapped around his middle, "Ahhhhgggg…Lili…go…!"

"You-!"

"NOW!"

She bolted. The fear inside her was boiling like the anger she'd felt before but it was cold, as cold as ice. It was clearer now; Razputin had a foreign entity inside his mind, one that wanted her dead, one that called itself Rixintine.

Back on the path, Raz pushed himself to his feet with a horrid effort, like his own limbs were fighting against him. Which they were. Rixintine was seeking, now that he was beaten back from full control for the moment, to take over all of Raz's movements. But the young Psychonaut would have none of it. Still fighting against Rix's snarls, swears, and shouts, Raz forced himself into the woods, disappearing among the trees.

Left forgotten on the trail, slowly sinking into the mud, were his goggles, rain speckled around the tinted edges of the glass like tears.

* * *

Lili ran as fast as she could, forgoing any thoughts of her psychic powers, heading for the Kid's Cabin area. She nearly ran into Sasha who was just coming back from tucking the kid's into their respective bunks; even if they weren't likely to stay there; and leaving Milla to watch them.

"Sasha!" She gasped, nearly collapsing into the German man's arms, "Sasha…it's Raz…it's Raz he…Sasha you have to…"

"Ms. Zanotto?" The pale, Psychonaut propped her up, raising an eyebrow, "Calm yourself down. Now, what seems to be the problem?"

_RAZ!_ She screamed the name in her mind and saw Sasha flinch slightly, _It's Raz! Something weird happened!_ She was so out of breath that she was getting light-headed as well, fighting with all her strength not because she was worried about Razputin but because he was just another fellow psychic in need, _There's someone else in his head! He…it…whoever it is tried to…tried to kill me…!_

"Rixintine…!" The German's voice actually became livid with rage and he dropped Lili to the ground, lightning flashing off his glasses, "That…that…!" And he took off without finishing his sentence.

Lili lay panting on the ground, sopping wet, not caring in the least. She'd almost been killed…! What had that Rixintine said? That she'd hurt them? And that she had to die because she'd hurt them? Hurt Raz? But, he'd hurt her first…? Right?

* * *

"Through the fire and the flames we carry on." –'Through the Fire and Flames' by Dragonforce

I apologize for how long it took me to update this thing, I had to finish 'Melody in Red 2: Conspiracy of Crimson' and then I got distracted by 'Melody in Black: Espirt de Corps' and…yeah…

Things are really starting to come together, aren't they? Or…maybe they aren't…(evil grin) We'll see…we shall see indeed…


	12. Into the Wind and Rain

Blah

Our favorite German Psychonaut is going to seem a little OOC in this chapter. I partially blame my Writer's Block. Please forgive me. Ah, and this is a rather short chapter.

**Fifteen: Into the Wind and Rain**

Sasha Nein never really showed the sentimental streak that was buried inside him. Sure, he was a camp counselor but that was because he was a Psychonaut and the young ones needed to know that psychic powers were not toys. But he cared. He cared very deeply for Milla especially. And for Razputin. Razputin who he watched over like a second father. And now Raz had gotten himself into a trouble that might be too deep for the boy to tread in alone.

_Please don't let me be to late…!_ The older Psychonaut sent up waves of mud behind him as he shot across the ground on his brilliant blue Thought Bubble, _Razputin! Just hold on! Milla would kill me if something happened to you!_

Somewhere, a part of him started raving about how he shouldn't be getting so attached and how it would interfere with science but he didn't care. To living spitfire with science! A person's life was worth more than that! Wasn't it?

The German Psychonaut skidded to a halt, splattering mud all up his front, in the place where Lili's mental image had shown. But there was no one there. Something off color through the thick and heavy rain caught his attention and he levitated it out of the muck, bringing it closer for his inspection. Razputin's prized goggles; the boy wouldn't be caught dead without them. So, logically, he was either dead or-. Sasha cursed his own smarts for a moment, swearing loudly as the thunder crashed over head. He couldn't afford to think like that.

_Razputin!?_ He mentally called out for the boy, reaching out for the mental signature he would recognize.

_STAY BACK!_ The volume and ferocity of the reply almost knocked Sasha off his feet, _JUST STAY AWAY!_ Then the voice changed to something like the words of abhorrence itself, _All of you…stay away from us…! Stay away…! You're not the one…I want…! I want to…I want to…NO!_ Raz's voice returned, _Shut…up…Rix…! Sasha, stay away me! Get back…get back…get back to…_

Raz's voice faded away. He'd either passed out, gotten out of Sasha's mental range, or he was-.

Sasha swore loudly again. Screw what Raz had told him; he, Sasha Nein, was a superior officer and no teenager was going to tell him off. The German shrugged his way into the woods, trying to wipe rain water off his glasses and only succeeding in smearing mud across them. Another curse word fled his pale lips and he tucked the spectacles away into his pocket, gloved fingers tightening on the strap of Raz's goggles. Rixintine was getting more dangerous and more powerful by the day and he had to be stopped.

* * *

_Razptuin!?_

Raz felt Sasha's mind touch his and he recoiled instantly. The German kept pushing though and Raz, gritting his teeth against the agony of Rix trying to fight against him, punched back.

_STAY BACK!_ He shouted mentally with as much force as he could muster, _JUST STAY AWAY!_

Rixintine say an opportunity and took it.

_All of you…stay away from us…! Stay away…! You're not the one…I want…! I want to…I want to…_

_No!_ Raz forced his way back into control, gasping and slumping against a tree for a moment before pushing onward through the storm, _Shut…up…Rix…! Sasha, stay away me! Get back…get back…get back to Milla and Lili…! Go!_

_RAZ! WHY DO YOU STOP ME FROM HELPING!?_ Rixintine screamed and Razputin cried out as flames reared in his mind's eye.

Unable to see where he was going past the blinding pain, he stumbled and fell head over heels down a hill, slamming into a thick tree at the bottom. There was a nasty sounding crack, a brilliant explosion of white stars, something warm and wet trickling down his neck, and then everything started going fuzzy and he fell into something cold and dark.

* * *

More than once Sasha had fallen in the mud and he was getting quite frustrated with his progress. Which had been next to zero. Razputin's mental signature was flickering at the edge of his range, appearing and then vanishing only to flare up again before disappearing rapidly. It was like chasing a ghost. Except that ghosts did not exist.

"Is it just me…" The older Psychonaut panted, stomping his way to the top of a rather steep hill, "Or is the rain letting up?"

He froze for a second or two. Just visible through the still pouring rain, crumbled beneath a tall, wide tree, was a figure in a trench coat with a vivid speck of red-brown. Razputin. It had to be. Sasha splashed his way down, slipping and sliding in the grime, and immediately checked for a pulse. He breathed sigh of relief. Alive. Wiping his eyes on the back of his dirty coat sleeve (just to clear his vision, understand) he contacted Milla and Ford and then erected a psychic shield to block out the rain.

It was only a matter of time before the others got here and Raz seemed to be okay. Sasha sank to the earth, back against the tree, closing his eyes and breathing steadily. In minutes, he was sleeping. The psychic barrier collapsed and the rain started drenching them again.

A fluctuation in the air. A pulse, of sorts. A shaky-looking yet stable, bright orange barrier sprung up and wobbled around a bit like a half-sphere of Jello before settling down. The rain slid off it in sheets.

* * *

"I don't care if it hurts. I wanna have control. I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul." –'Creep' by Radiohead

Hm, hm, I wonder who made that barrier…?


	13. Take Over Time

Finally! I get to use a line I've been wanting to use since I started this thing! "Little spoon-bending menace." Hee, hee! It makes me smile…!

**Thirteen: Take Over Time **

"Things are getting completely out of hand, Morry, we can't keep this up. Razputin, however much I hate to say it, is a danger to himself and the kids. Either he needs to leave or the kids do. Now, I like the kid and all but, honestly, do you really think he's up for holding himself back and everything?" Ford raised an eyebrow at the military like Psychonaut, "Come on, think about it. He's a teenager on raging hormones who just broke up with the only girlfriend he's ever had; not to mention they've been dating since they were ten; and he's got an alternate ego living in his head who's completely insane. What's **not** dangerous about that situation?"

Oleander struggled for a moment or two, his face screwed up in a veritable scowl of defeat even as he tried to think of a comeback. But Cruller was right. Raz was getting too hazardous for everyone's health, including his own. But the kids looked up to him, respected him, admired him, saw him as their freaking hero!

"You know Ford, you have a point but," The Coach emphasized the 'but', "Sasha's got that little spoon-bending menace holed up in his lab. That kid's not going anywhere soon!"

"I give up!" The Former Grand Head of the Psychonauts threw his hands into the air exasperatedly, "I try and I try and I try, Morry, but you just can't see it!"

"See what!?" Oleander snapped back, "That kid's got more to him than anyone I've ever seen! He knows how to take care of himself and he'll darn well do it! He saved the world when he was ten he can save himself when he's fifteen!" And he turned his back on Cruller, effectively stating that the conversation was over.

Ford rolled his eyes as he turned on his heel and walked off, muttering darkly.

"Yeah, but sometimes savin' yourself's a whole heck of a lot harder than savin' the whole darn world, Morry…"

* * *

Milla was on the verge of insanity, she just knew it. Twice in a week Raz's life had been in danger and now Sasha had passed out cold from exhaustion too. The man had never actually worked himself so hard before. The Brazilian agent's nerves were rubbed so raw she thought they'd been snapped and Sasha (when he'd woken up shortly after they'd pulled both of them safely back into camp) assuring her that everything was going to be alright really wasn't helping. Sasha never had been one for consolation.

Now, as Sasha taught class in a warm, sunny part of camp the day after his and Raz's retrieval from the forest, she sat beside the unconscious Razputin. He'd been sleeping, mostly, though every so often he'd open his eyes half-way, glance around, and then squeeze them shut again. It was almost as though he was afraid of something.

Sasha Nein's lab was not the best place for someone to recover from a crack to the back of the head but it **was** the best place to keep Raz in check. Even though Ford was all for the boy going to HQ to get it sorted out, Sasha was firmly against it. His argument was that if Raz was sent to Headquarters, the Psychonauts would surely discharge him and lock him up; Raz could, and would, be cured, Sasha had snapped angrily when Ford had confronted him. So now the boy lay stretched out on one of the not-so-comfortable red chair the German agent had laying around his messy lab, wavering in and out of sleep at his leisure. After staying up all night to keep an eye on him, Milla felt herself nodding off too.

"M…Milla?" She was instantly alert; those green eyes had a cold, icey look to them, not like Raz's at all, "What the…how did I…?" A look of horror swept over his face, "Oh no, oh no, oh no…!" The boy struggled to sit up but gasped in pain, his hand flying to the back of his head, "Raz…I can't reach Razputin…"

Milla put two and two together immediately.

"Rixintine!?"

* * *

As soon as Raz had gotten himself conked on the head and knocked unconscious, he fell straight into Rix's ice castle, scaring the living day lights out of the other entity. Of course, Rixintine's first thoughts were to take this situation like candy for free but it wasn't until he actually saw the state of Raz's mental image that he backed off and curled himself on his throne, knees to his chin, watching Raz try and struggle on the floor.

"Gah…my head…eh…?" Raz had finally noticed where he was and leapt, rather shakily, to his feet, clenching his fists and glaring daggers at Rixintine.

"You're in no shape for that, Raz." Rix had muttered sorrowfully, blinking slowly at him, still curled up on his throne, "Just…I dunno, sleep or something."

"Why the heck should I listen to you!?" Raz suddenly noticed the flickering, translucent state of his mental projection, "Oh…"

"You see! You should listen to me!" Rixintine whined softly, "We've been pushing at each other for so long that…dang, I'm surprised I haven't been blown apart myself."

"You wouldn't be the one going down first, Rix, I know that much." Razputin sank to the floor again, shivering, glinting in and out of a solid form, "The way I've been running it's no real bolt from the blue that I'm in this sort of state." He smiled weakly, "This is insane. And it's all Lili's fault."

"Finally seeing the light?"

"Not likely. I blame you just as much as much as I blame her, if not more so."

"You're a real jerk. I could totally wipe the floor with you right now and there'd be nothing you could do to stop me."

"Yeah, but you won't. 'Cause you like to see me squirm."

"Tch," Rix looked away, snapping his mimic of Raz's goggles over his green eyes, "I don't care. Go to sleep or whatever."

When he got no response, he turned his attention back to Razputin. The ragged looking mental teenager was sprawled on the ice floor, sleeping apparently, his trench coat splayed around him like a pair of ruined wings. Rixintine starred at him for a while, head cocked, and then slid off his throne, walked over, hoisted Raz up with a bit up juiced up telekinesis, and plopped him on the throne. Then he stood around and waited for something to happen. Nothing did.

Mental projection Raz needed time to recover from the mental struggle he'd been having with Rix, though Rix was pretty worn out himself, and Raz's body was no doubt in no fit state to be up and about. Nothing to do but sit around and wait then.

It felt like hours went by. Rix sat on the floor in front of his occupied throne, the goggles still over his eyes, not moving, still as a statue, listening to Razputin's haggard breathing. Time stretched on endlessly. Rix couldn't tell how long it had been since Raz had dropped in. It could have been days, weeks, months, even years. But as long as the ice castle, he, and Raz remained, it meant that Raz's body was still living.

Despite the fact that he wanted to kill Lili, which he knew placed him in Raz's "bad category", Rix was also determined to protect Raz. Razputin had befriended him, so to speak. Rixintine was the creation of a little boy's longing for friends and even though Raz had discarded him, a shard of Rix still remained in the back of Raz's mind, unnoticed. As soon as Rix had a consciousness of his own, he threw up mental blockades around his portion of the boy's mind, blocking anyone from entering while he was still weak, trying to buy enough time to build himself into a whole new being. He grew up with Raz, learning things the boy shunned such as cyrokinesis, and was planning to make his entrance to Raz when he realized that Razputin had forgotten about him. Well, that was fine. He'd just be a guardian angel of sorts of protect Raz. But when Lili shattered Raz's heart and broke the walls around the boy's emotions, Rix knew he had to take revenge; a revenge that Razputin would never follow up to. Thus, the struggle between them had begun.

After a long amount of time, Rixintine dozed off himself. He couldn't help it. Even mental entities needed to sleep. But it was a change in the air that made him awaken. For one thing, it was warm, there was a sort of throbbing at the back of his head, and he could hear someone breathing but it wasn't Raz. The scent of followed each breath. He opened his eyes slowly and blinked, looking up. It was…it was…

"M…Milla?" She snapped awake immediately and met his gaze, "What the…how did I…?" Horror and panic flooded him, "Oh no, oh no, oh no…!" He bolted upright, gasping in pain as the throbbing at the back of his escalated, reaching back to put a hand there and at the same time mentally reaching for…, "Raz…I can't reach Razptuin…"

Milla's eyes were alight,

"Rixintine!?"

"Ow, obviously…!" Rix whimpered at the pain, sinking back into the chair, grimacing, "Ah…that moron…he's so worn out…dang it all, he better not disappear on me."

"I'm calling Sasha!" The woman was on her feet, two fingers to her forehead, then she stopped, cursing lightly, "Of course he can't reach me down here…" She glared icey daggers that made Rix cower, "Don't try **anything**, darling, or you'll pay dearly! Stay here! I'm going out to find Sasha!"

Milla turned and bolted up the stained glass steps as fast as she could, feeling those cold greens eyes following her up. She breached the hatch, bursting into the GPC, and bounced out of it onto the soft dirt and grass, mentally reaching for Agent Nein. He was beside her in a matter of minutes.

"The children are with Cruller." He explained shortly, "What's going on?"

"It's Rixintine, darling, he's taken over Raz's body again…!"

"And you left him down there alone?" It wasn't a chiding remark but it was enough for Milla to feel a bit foolish with herself. She followed her partner back down into his lab, "Hold on a moment," He held up his hand, stopping them both at the top of the stairs, "Do you hear…singing?"

* * *

"…Ring out the bells again, like we did when spring began. Wake me up when September ends. Here comes the rain again, falling from the skies. Drenched in my pain again…" –'Wake Me Up When September Ends' by Green Day

The next chapter's going to be a little bit of fun. Don't worry, Raz will come back, you can't get rid of him that easily.


	14. Mine

I had no idea that so many people wanted this fan fiction to stay here! I guess I was just having a terrible down time and thank you all so much for making me realize I've been such a real idiot! It was…well, I've had a hard week. A lot of my Senior friends graduated and I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life; I've only got one year left of high school myself.

Thank you all so much for the pick-me-ups! If I could hug you, I would! Please enjoy the **real** chapter fourteen! :D (I apologize in advance for any OOC-ness, I have been away from this fiction for a while.)

* * *

**Fourteen: Mine**

* * *

"Hold on a moment," Sasha held up his hand, stopping them both at the top of the stairs, "Do you hear…singing?"

Milla paused as well, just behind her partner, straining her ears.

"No, not physically," He tapped two fingers to his temple, "Mentally."

Again, Milla listened but this time expanded her mental range to pick up the thoughts of others. She brushed Sasha's psyche and he withdrew sharply. She convinced herself it was out of habit.

"_Razputin, don't you cry…Razputin, dry your eyes…"_

"It sounds…like a lullaby, darling." The Mental Minx said softly, looking at Sasha who nodded slowly, "But why is there a lullaby playing in Razputin's mind?"

"Let's ask Rixintine." Sasha nearly stomped down the stairs, obviously furious, and Milla trailed after him worriedly.

"_Rest your head close to my heart…never to part…"_

The duo found Rix curled up on the chair Milla had left him in, rocking back and forth with his knees drawn up to his chin and his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. His vivid green eyes were rimmed with white and his breathing was shallow and quick.

"_Razputin, you're mine…"_

"Rixintine." Sasha got no response. He glanced over the top of his tinted glasses at his fellow agent, got a shrug in return, and turned his attention back to the boy, "Rixintine, what have you done with Razputin."

"I can't…reach him…" Rix mumbled, rocking back and forth to the steady rhythm of the lullaby echoing from his mind, "He's just too…worn out…"

"_Razputin, when you play…"_

"He appears to be in a state of shock." Agent Nein murmured, pulling his partner aside, "Razputin's mental signature is so weak, it's wavering, unstable in his own mind; no doubt due to the two of them pushing at each other constantly; and after the ordeal in the woods, Razputin is practically drained of energy."

"_Don't you mind what they say…"_

"But…but Raz is still in there, right darling?"

Sasha nodded slowly, knowing where this was going already.

"Then we can go get him, right?"

"No," The German replied, feeling a (very small) pang of guilt as Milla's hopeful expression fell, "The instability of his…their minds…mind," He shook himself, "Whichever, the instability of Razputin's mind would make it much to dangerous for us to enter his mind. Dangerous for us and for him."

"_Let those eyes sparkle and shine…never a tear…"_

"Raz…Raz…Raz…" Rixintine was still rocking back and forth, wide-eyed, muttering Razputin's name over and over and over again. Milla glanced at him anxiously, shot a look at Sasha, and went over, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him close.

"Shhhhh, darling, shhhhh, it'll be alright." She murmured, stroking his hair and carefully avoiding the tender area where Raz had smacked his head on the tree, "We'll get Razputin back, it'll be okay."

"_Razputin, you're mine…"_

* * *

Sasha, was of course, absolutely furious with himself. Rixintine was loose and in an absolute state of shock, Milla was treating him like an orphan, and he himself could do nothing about it. For all he knew, this could be a ploy to catch them off his guard but Rix's mind was so shielded that nothing could be discerned except a solid wall and the occasional whispers of Raz's name.

_At least he's contained for the moment,_ The German lamented, taking a huge draw on his cigarette; Rix was currently locked in the Underground Sanctuary being carefully watched by the "more than capable" Ford Cruller, _This is a mess. Too much of a mess for this camp but, in all reality, there's nowhere else to put him. _

Sasha swore in German, stomped his smoke out, and walked down the shore, kicking up sand as he went. He was angry because, for once, there was next to nothing he could do, he was upset because of the state Razputin was in, and he was confused about his role in the situation as a whole. He froze on the spot as a thought struck him.

_If Rixintine is aiming to kill Ms. Zanotto, what's to stop him from targeting one of us (for some reason or another) next?_ His brow furrowed and he dug into his jacket for another cigarette, fumbling for it, _What if he hurts Milla…?_

Sasha cursed again, lit the cigarette with a snap of his fingers, and continued walking down the shoreline. He stopped under the shade of some rather tall rocks and leaned against them, letting out a puff of smoke as he did so.

_What a mess…_

* * *

Ford was wary of Rixintine. He'd been watching him rocketing around the lab (that had, on Raz's first trip to the camp, held his fellow brainless campers) for about five minutes, almost running on the walls he was going so fast, but approximately half an hour ago he'd finally settled down and was lying spread eagle on the floor, starring open mouthed at the ceiling like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen in his entire life.

Ford didn't blame him; with the scrambled and broken state Raz's mind was in, Rix would probably chase after a laser pointer and not even think twice about it.

No, what was bothering the Former Grand Head was the absolute lack of escape attempts the little rat had made. Logically, if Rixintine was after Lili's head then, by all means, why would he allow himself to be locked up with no chance of laying so much as psychic finger on her?

"That kid's planning something." He muttered, glaring at the figure still sprawled on the floor with a dazed look on his face, "I don't know what but he's cooken' up something."

* * *

Raz stretched, yawned, rolled over and opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep from them. The blue-white ceiling of Rixintine's ice castle met his gaze and he sighed, his breath frosting before him. Every part of his mental self ached as though someone had plowed him over with a steamroller.

"Better to be alive, I guess, then being emo under a tree in the rain." He muttered darkly, "No thanks to that…that…" He grumbled a few choice words to call his alter ego and slid off the throne, readjusting his goggles as he did so, "This place still creeps me out."

"Feeling better?" Raz jumped and looked around, glaring at Rixintine when he saw him standing at the foot of the dais with his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face.

"I'd be better without you."

"Sure you would."

"Wanna try and see?"

"Not really."

"Fun-sucker."

Rix smirked, green eyes narrowing, and Raz rolled his eyes, tucking his own hands into his pockets.

"Can we please **stop** with all the freaking drama!?" The young Psychonaut scowled and Rix's grin dropped, "It's kill this, and kiss that, and don't make me do that, and I'm trying to protect you, and—oh my freaking gosh, my life's turned into one big soap opera! Shoot me!" Raz raised his hand, making a gun shape with his pointer finger and thumb, stuck his finger to his head and then jerked it back, tossing his head to the side, "Bang!"

Rixintine burst into a fit of maniacal laughter, doubling over and wrapping his arms around his stomach. Razputin took this opportunity to edge towards the far wall, making for the door that would take him out in front of his gypsy caravan. But just as he was stretching his hand towards the door, Rixintine's laughter died.

"It's because of me, you know."

"It's because of you what?" Raz growled, keeping his front towards the door.

"It's because of me that you're still alive. When you smashed your head on that tree, you were as good as gone. Sasha didn't have enough strength to keep a shield going. But I did. I forced my consciousness to override yours and brought a shield up until the others found us. You should be thanking me."

"Thank you? Puh, not if I was the President of the United States!"

"They like me."

"Huh?" Raz turned around, raising an eyebrow, not bothering to hide his confusion. Rix was grinning again.

"Milla, Sasha, Ford…they all like me."

"Oh, come on, cut the bull!" Raz snapped, fists clenched, "I'm so sick and tired of—!"

"I saved you," Rix kept talking, ticking things off on his fingers, "Saved your life, Saved Sasha's life, helped you back on your feet, and I didn't even so much as make a move at Lili or anyone else." His sneer was dark, twisted, "They're starting to trust me."

"You…you…you…" Raz searched for a word that would portray to Rixintine exactly what he thought he was, "You…you pea-brain!"

Rixintine exploded into another peal of laughter and Raz felt his face turn red. He'd pretty much just insulted himself. While Rix continued to laugh, Raz pressed his hand against the door, pushing on it, from behind his back. It swung inward without a sound and Raz slipped inside, backing down the hall with two fingertips to his temple, ready to fire at any moment. But Rixintine just kept laughing…and laughing...and laughing. Even after Raz had slammed the door shut on the caravan and backed away from it, Rixintine's laughter still rang in his ears.

* * *

"Ford…!"

"Shut up, I'm sleeping."

"Ford…!"

"Quiet."

"FORD!"

Ford Cruller jumped, almost falling off his swivel chair, and peeled off the piece of paper that had gotten stuck to the side of his face. Apparently, he'd fallen asleep in front of the lab watching Rixintine.

"Ford! Hey! Down here! Wanna let me out!" The Former Grand Head looked through the glass and say Rix (or Raz) standing in the middle of the room with his arms over his head and waving them in the air, half-grinning, "I'm not brainless anymore!"

Ford chuckled at the joke and then paused.

"Yeah, and how do I know you ain't Rix?"

"Eh…?" Raz let his hands drop to his side, a little lost. How could he prove to Ford that he was Raz when Rix knew all his memories?

"I'm waiting…" Ford had his arms crossed and was drumming his fingers on his arm.

"Ah…" Raz suddenly smiled, "Sasha's an idiot." There was a disbelieving look on Ford's face, "Well he is! He's never going to admit his love for Milla!"

Ford roared with laughter, slapping a hand on his knee and spinning his swivel chair in circles, "Boy, you have no idea!" He pressed a couple of buttons, "Come on up, Razputin, you've got some counseling to do!"

* * *

"What's the sound of the world out there?…Those crunching noises pervading the air!…It's man devouring man, my dear, and who are we to deny it in here?" –'A Little Priest' from the motion picture 'Sweeney Todd'

(slamming her head into the keyboard over and over and over again) I can't do it anymore! Ahhhhggggg! Okay, no, really, I can handle it. I'm so messed up right now. Anyone else here the voices in their heads telling them to burn stuff? Just kidding!

I'm sorry for being such an idiot, thank you all for smacking me around to get me set right again, and thank you for waiting so patiently for this chapter! Please review! Byes!


	15. PyroSong

**NOTICE:** _**I have replaced the Interlude with the original chapter fourteen that has all the awesomeness of the story line waiting for you. So, if you have not read the "re-done" chapter fourteen, please go back and do so before proceeding to read this lovely chapter fifteen. Thank you.**_

Hopefully that lame excuse for a chapter fourteen was enough to keep you busy for a while! (laughs) Well anyway, here's a hearty dose of crazed-up Rixintine chapter fifteen to keep you happy even longer! Ah, the joys of being a total nuisance…!

* * *

**Fifteen: Pyro-Songs**

* * *

Raz had been falling and out of sleep all night and was in no mood to deal with the crap that Lili was glaring at him from across the table the next morning during breakfast. Rixintine had left him well enough alone but it wasn't his alter ego that was worrying him. It was what he had to do today. Due to the lack of staff at Whispering Rock and the fact that Razputin had been out of commission for a while, the PSI Cadets were lacking in several areas. Including pyrokinesis.

Raz shoveled the last of his waffles into his mouth, stood up, gathering his utensils and plate as he went, dumped them in the sink, grabbed a Monster from the fridge, and dodged outside, Lili's eyes following him all the way.

The young Psychonaut wandered his way past the Main Lodge where the sounds of children shouting at one another could be heard, took a gulp from his Monster, walked into the parking lot, paused, looked around, and walked up to the Coach's jeep. With another quick glance around, he bent down over the pavement behind the jeep, pressed his finger into the concrete and started writing, burning his words into the hard surface with his fire psychic ability. A minute later, he walked away whistling and chugging his energy drink, chuckling over the words 'Doofus Parks Here' engraved into the pavement behind the vehicle.

He strolled into the Reception Area and took a seat on the stage, gazing around at the logs and the empty fire pit. A smile edged its way onto his face; this is where it had all started. Five years ago…it seemed like just yesterday he'd snuck into Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, saved the world, kissed Lili. His smile dropped as he drained the last of his Monster and scrunched it into a tiny ball of metal. Bad memories. Yuck. Seeking to entertain himself before the campers came, he levitated the sphere into the air and started making it ricochet off the trees.

"EEEEEEEEEEE!" Raz was so startled by the squealing that he accidentally sent the little ball of metal whizzing high into the sky and out of sight. It would probably come down in about a month or so.

"Agent Razputin!"

"Mr. Raz!"

"Razputin!"

"Oh my gosh…do I get a freaking break…?" Raz's shoulders sagged and he looked around to see a stampede of his fan girls running towards him, "For the love of—."

"**RAZPUTIN!**" He was buried under at least three girls, all of whom refused to let go of him.

"Alright, alright, alright!" Raz started wriggling out of their grip, "I can't…breathe!" He sent them sprawling with a light burst of psychic energy, "Gee-whizz, what the heck are you guys running on!?"

The other four campers were already perched on the logs around the fire pit with bemused expressions on their faces; they were all boys. Razputin dusted himself off and cast his gaze over the lot of them. They all seemed alright, save for the giggling fan girls. Well, no use delaying the inevitable. Still, he was really nervous, no matter what Oleander and Sasha assured him.

"Alright, I know you guys have been pulled into minds before so it's no big deal," He began, completely serious, "But this time I—hey! Put that away! I'm being serious!" The two fan girls that had been giggling over a magazine quickly whipped it out of sight and sat in a silent sheepishness, "Alright then, this time it's important that you stick close to me and don't, for **any reason**, go anywhere **near** the caravan! Is that clear?"

There was some head nodding and murmured "yes's" but one boy raised his hand, "Agent Razputin, why can't we go near the caravan?"

_Curse the inquisitive ones…!_ Raz grumbled to himself, "I'm having some…nightmare issues and…eh…emotional baggage stuff that could definitely overload you guys. So, uh, if you want to stay sane I suggest you stay faaaarrrrr away from it. Clear?"

"Clear!" The campers chimed.

"Okay then…" The Youngest Psychonaut Ever telekinetically pulled his PSI-Portal from his backpack, grinned at the Cadets, and put it to his own forehead. That was always the weirdest thing for him, to put the PSI-Portal on his own head to pull others inside. It gave him chills every time he did it.

Within moments, he was standing amongst a group of seven ten year olds, all of whom were shaking off their initial shot of vertigo and looking around. Raz turned his laughter into a cough as one the fan girls attempted to try and see just how far the darkness stretched upwards and leaned back so far that she fell over.

"Ahem, so, yes, you guys ready to learn so pyrokinesis?" There was a collective cheer from the PSI Cadets, "Okay…!" Raz clapped his hands together and looked around briefly at the expanse of darkness, using this method to hide the fact that he was really making sure the second door on the caravan was securely locked with heavy chains and 'Caution' tape.

"Mr. Raz, even Sasha's mind is more interesting than yours." Said one Cadet and Raz sputtered between laughter and indigence.

"Now, hey, that's not fair! I'd take you little fire starters elsewhere but…" He gestured vaguely to the caravan, "The rest of me is under lock and key to you guys. Anyway! Let's get started!" Twelve different circus themed trashcans popped into existence, "Now, pyrokinesis is pretty simple all you do is—."

"_Can…anybody…find me…somebody tooooooooo…loooooovvvveeee?"_

"Oh please not now…" Raz slapped a hand to his forehead as the young campers looked around for the source of the singing. The Psychonaut's gaze flitted towards the caravan but the second door was still shut and showed no signs of giving, "Hey, guys, just ignore the singing! Repressed…memory…crap." Lame excuse but it worked, "So, as I was saying, all you have to do is focus on what it is you want to burn," He put two fingers to his temple and glared at a trashcan, "Gather up some psychic energy and think—."

"—_Of the happiest thiiiiiinnggggg! It's the same as having wiiiinnggggssss!"_

"I'm going to kill that…!" The trashcan exploded into flames and melted into a pile of twisted metal mush and all the Cadets went "Oooooooohhhhhh!" simultaneously. Raz raised an eyebrow at them, "Just ignore the singing kids. Go on, practice pyrokinesis. But if I see you going near that caravan or setting someone else on fire that's **it**! No more Mr. Nice-Raz!"

"_Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal '45! Just another way to surviiiiiiiivvvee!"_

As the campers started trying to set things aflame; with much accompanied grunts and yelps; Raz stomped over to the caravan and glared at the door.

"Shut up, Rix!" He growled, his nose inches from the chains hanging off it, "I know you're listening and I know you can hear me so shut up!"

"_California rest in peace! Simultaneous release! California show your teeth! She's my priestess, I'm your priest! Yeeeaaaahhh! Yeeeeaaaahhh!"_

"Be quiet, you slimy little excuse for a mental being!" Raz shouted, slamming his fist on the door, "I hate that song! It doesn't make any sense! SHUT UP!"

There was silence and Raz slowly looked over his shoulder to see all the PSI Cadets starring at him with wide eyes. Even his fan girls looked a little shocked. Raz blushed furiously. He must look like a total dork, yelling at a wooden door.

"Uh…sorting out my psyche?"

The excuse seemed to work because the kids all turned back around and started trying to set the trashcans on fire again. Raz looked away as well, resting his forehead against the giant padlock holding the chains together with a heavy sigh.

"_Like dead trees in cold Decembeeeerrrrrrrrr, nothing but ashes remaaaaiiinnn! Ooohhh, Embeeerrrrr, you will remembeeerrrrrr! Embeeeerrrrr! One thing remaiiiiinnnnnssss!"_

"I'm not listening to you anymore, you know that?" Raz snarled, fingers stuffed in his ears, turning his back on the caravan and walking away with a sullen look on his features, "You're just an annoying pest who—!"

_**BOOM!!**_

There was an enormous flare of red-orange, an explosion, a blast like a cannon firing, and when his vision cleared, Raz found himself sprawled on the ground with his goggles askew and the PSI Cadets in the same position. One of them, laying spread eagle on his back with a shocked expression, had soot covering his front and his hair was standing on end. At his feet was a nice, round crater in the blackness that was the floor.

"W-wow…Sean…that was…wow…!" Raz scrambled over to the boy and hefted him upright, dusting him off as the other campers slowly got up as well, "That was incredible! Great job! Excellent! Truman'll pleased; we haven't had a good pyrokinetic in the ranks since Basil Blazer retired two years ago!" He clapped the boy on the shoulder, laughing, "Alright kiddies, that's the end of this lesson, out we go!"

* * *

Lili watched, leaning against a tree, as one by one the PSI Cadets all left Raz's mind and started stumbling away, slightly disoriented, laughing and giggling about their lesson. None of them, not even the fan girls, were paying any attention to their counselor anymore. Razputin was still in his psyche daze, his PSI-Portal on his lap, and didn't even notice Lili stroll right up to him. She stood over him a moment, watching his features twitch slightly with whatever activity was going on in his mind.

"You're a jerk, Raz, a big fat, lying jerk." She hissed under her breath, knowing full well that he couldn't hear her, "And it **is** all your fault. You forgot about me and it was all about you. The poster boy, the golden boy, the hero…anything but **my** Raz. The boy **I** fell head-over-heels with five years ago." She brought her hand up and slapped him hard across the cheek, sending him sprawling. Not that he knew it, "That's what I think of you."

And she stalked off.

* * *

Raz met up with Sasha later that evening after a rather eventful and erratic day of pyrokinesis training; with Rixintine singing in the background the whole time; in the wilderness outside the GPC. The German looked as though he'd been through a whole pack of cigarettes and, as he pulled out another, Raz snatched it out of his fingers and threw it in the river. Sasha scowled at him.

"They're not cool, you know," The boy said with a small smile, "They make you like you're trying to commit a very slow and very painful suicide."

"You sound like Agent Vodello."

"Ha!" Raz's laugh rang into the slowly changing sky, the light blue turning gently into oranges, yellows, pinks, reds, and purples. He shoved his hands in his pockets, "So, how was your day?"

"I've been attempting to dig up something on this odd MPD you have."

"And?"

"I'm afraid to say that I have found next to nothing."

"Figures. That's just my luck." There was a bit of a silence as the two wandered down the dirt path, "I had another argument with Rixintine today."

"Mm? What did he say now?"

"He was going on about how I wouldn't be able to handle a group of kids if someone paid me and I reminded him that I **am** getting paid for it and it went on to random things from there. But," Raz paused for a split second, "He said something weird. He told me that…that everyone was getting annoyed with me because…well, he said you guys were…that you didn't care that much anymore."

"Compelling." Sasha ran a gloved hand through his black hair, brushing it out of his face, "You didn't believe it, did you?"

"Eh…I…I sort of…felt like I did. I mean, I sort of just busted into camp without warning and totally barged in on whatever you guys were doing. I was thinking more of my own problems than anything else."

"Razputin," Sasha said firmly, standing in front of the boy, "You are complete and utter moron."

"Wha—hey!"

"Stop blaming yourself." The German Psychonaut muttered and walked away. Raz blinked after him, rooted to the spot.

"_Shame on you, Razputin, for putting all the blame on yourself! Blame somebody else for once, why don't you!?"_

"Stupid…grown-ups…!" He finally grumbled, rushing to catch up, "Don't understand them in the least…!"

* * *

"And you can't see past the blood on my hands to see that you've been aptly damned to fail and fail again. 'Cause we're all guilty of the same thing; we think the thoughts whether or not we see them through." –'Forgiven' by 'Relient K'

I'm starting to struggle to find stuff to put at the ends of these chapters. Maybe I should put them at the beginning? (shrugs) Either way, that's not the biggest problem. The biggest problem is getting this whole piece of junk to stick together. I've got a beginning, a vague middle, and two possible endings. Where the heck am I going with this?

Thanks for reading, please leave me a review, and have an awesomely super sensationalistic day!

Songs: "Somebody to Love" by Queen, "You Can Fly, You Can Fly, You Can Fly" from Peter Pan, "Dani California" by The Red Hot Chilly Peppers, and "Remember" from Danny Phantom.


	16. Liar, Liar, Ice On Fire

Okkaaaaaayyyyy, since I'm such a loser and I'm Psycho obsessed (again) I'm just going to keep going on with this semi-filler crap. (yawns) Anyone got a dose of Skittles?

* * *

**Sixteen: Liar, Liar, Ice On Fire**

* * *

"Sasha, darling, pass the butter."

"Don't you wave that knife at me, soldier! Drop and give me twenty!"

"Morry…not now…"

"Hey! Where'd all the biscuits go!? I was eating those!……Ford…!"

"Hahahaha! You're too easy, Razputin!"

"Cut it out, you two. This is supper not Basic Braining."

"If that was a joke, Nein, it was a very poor one."

Everyone at the table in the kitchen laughed except Sasha who busied himself with his plate of food. He, Ford, Oleander, Milla, and Razputin were eating supper in the Counselor's Lodge after insuring that the PSI Cadets were all asleep in their respective cabins. It was a cheery affair; though it had been dampened slightly a few minutes before when Lili had entered, found herself face to face with Raz, grabbed a sub from the fridge and disappeared into her room. Milla was quick to brush it off but Raz…not so much.

Later, after he'd eaten and helped the Mental Minx clean up, he wandered into the bathroom with his pajamas under one arm and a towel under the other to take a nice, long, hot shower. Rixintine had been unusually silent all evening. Razputin tried no to think about what that could mean. He shut the bathroom door behind him, shaking his head to clear the dark thoughts that had begun to clutter there. After this whole affair he would no doubt have to go through his mind and clear out some mental cobwebs and maybe even some nightmares. What a charming thought that was.

He dropped his towel on the floor and carelessly tossed his pajamas on the counter by the sink before turning the water on. With a sigh, Raz stepped back and rolled his head around, cracking his neck as he did so. So stressful. Steam started to rise over the top of the curtain and he tugged off his sweater, pants, and socks and stepped under the streaming water. He felt the familiar, fearful chill that came with anything associated with the word "water" and then relaxed as the hot liquid poured over his body.

"_Just what you needed, right Raz?"_

Raz scowled, pushing his redish bangs back and out of his eyes, _Can't you leave me alone so I can relax?_

Rixintine chuckled, _"No, when you drop your guard, it's so much fun to tease you!"_ Another peal of light laughter, _"I'm like your twin brother! Always on your nerves!"_

_You are __**so**__ not like a brother!_ Raz snapped back, _In case you've forgotten, I __**have**__ a brother! And there's no way you—!_

"_Calm down, okay, I'm not looking to replace Ozzy."_

_Well you sure as heck act like it._ The young Psychonaut absentmindedly picked up the shampoo and squirted it into his hands, shoving them through his wet hair as he did so, still furious that Rixintine had interrupted what was almost a perfectly decent evening.

"_Why do you hate me?"_

_Well, geez, I dunno, maybe 'cause you put the circus in danger, because you almost killed my little brother, and because you want to kill Lili!_

"_Those are dumb reasons. You're the one who wanted them to happen." _

_Shut up, Rixintine, just SHUT UP!_

The mental shouting match between Rix and Raz went on for the remainder of the shower and continued on through the whole process of the young Psychonaut changing into his pajamas and making his way towards his room. Rixintine silenced himself when Raz scrambled into bed and telekinetically shut the lights off.

_Finally…some peace and quiet…_ He thought as he closed his eyes…

* * *

…And opened them to a huge expanse of field. He was standing in a line of armored soldiers, all with stern expressions and weapons in hand. Peering down at himself, he found he was clad in a dark green and silver armor; thick enough to block a blow but light enough to move freely in; light mail, a tick green undershirt, leather and steel vambraces, and thick pants that were tucked into high armored boots with spikes on the toes. In his right hand was a double-edged broadsword and hooked to his left arm, above his plated gloves, was a metal shield.

"Nervous?" A familiar voice asked and Raz looked to left to meet a pair of identical green eyes, "I don't blame you."

"Rix?"

"Well, yeah." His alter ego was wearing matching armor but instead of a broadsword and a shield he held two deadly looking scimitars, "You didn't think I'd let my own twin brother run off to battle by himself, did you?"

"But I—."

"Soldiers!" Raz's attention was taken by a German accented voice and he peered past the shoulders of the men in front of him, his eyes widening in absolute shock.

"Sasha…?" He whispered hoarsely.

"**Commander** Sasha Nein." Rixintine breathed, "Now, shhhh…!"

Sasha was garbed in brilliant silver armor laced with gold, an obsidian studded circlet on his forehead. He rode upon a Friesian black stallion in leather and gold tack, a blue tinted nodachi in one hand and a standard in the other; the flag on the pole was the Psychonaut insignia on a light blue background embossed with black stars.

"Soldiers!" Commander Nein called out again, "Soldiers, this is the final fight! They," He whirled his steed about and pointed his blade at a mass of black across the field that Raz hadn't noticed before, "Are the enemy! They have tortured our people for too long! Now, they pay!" The men around Raz cheered loudly, clanging their shields and blades together. "We! Stand! Now!" Sasha turned back to the assembled army, jabbing his standard at the sky, "Or we fall! FIGHTING!"

The roar that accompanied these words was deafening, the clamor of metal screeching against metal like the cries of wild beasts, and Sasha's horse reared at the noise. As he regained control of his steed, the Commander passed his standard to a runner, raised his nodochi to the Heavens, and yelled louder than Razputin had ever thought he could,

CHAAAAAARRRRRRGGEEEEE!"

It was a wave of clattering armor and battle cries as the soldiers stampeded across the grass; Sasha at the head; mimicking their leader and raising their weapons towards the skies. Raz ran forward with the rest of them, fully aware that this was just another dream but curious as to how it would play out. Across the field, the mass of black began to move forward as well. Raz saw Rix out of the corner of his eye, yelling and screaming with the rest of the men.

Minutes later, the two sides clashed.

Sparks flew into the air as shield and blade or blade and blade met, the snarls of rage from both sides were wild, fire and smoke curled upwards, and above it all wheeled carrion seeking birds waiting to pick at the leftovers.

Razputin dashed about in the confusion, scared out of his wits by the carnage and death erupting around him. He saw Rixintine dance away from the lashing whip of a black armored enemy only to leap forward and slide one scimitar between his foe's helmet and chest plate, sending up a fine mist of red. His terrified eyes found Milla, clad identically to Sasha, racing across the battlefield on a white mare, swinging a bladed staff in dangerous circles only to have his attention dragged away by Sasha's nodachi lopping off an enemy's head. As he stumbled forward, his eyes were, for some unexplainable reason, drawn to the already blood-soaked grass and he cried out in sorrow. Dogan lay sprawled awkwardly in his own blood, eyes wide and glassy, and Raz retched up whatever lunch he'd had in this dream world.

"You know this is your fault, right?" A cold voice above him made him look up, "All your precious comrades will die because of you."

"L-Lili…?"

She wore the black and red armor of the enemy, a bastard sword in one hand and a javelin in the other, her long hair pinned into an intricate bun and her amber eyes cold with the fires of hate.

"That's all you have to say for yourself?" She sneered, "Well then Razputin, my love, good-bye."

And she raised the javelin to pierce him. Blood erupted into the air and a scream of agony accompanied it.

"Rixintine!?" Raz knelt by his fallen ego, "Why the heck did you do that!?"

"Well…geez, you're my brother…and all…" Rix wheezed, his fingers trembling up the javelin shaft the protruded from his chest, "And I couldn't…let you die…it's my fault too…but you have to know…Raz, that I…that I…" A feeble grin flickered on his face, "That I…was never…mad at you…for…for…for…"

"For what, Rix, for what!?" Raz's hands were clenched on his alter ego's arm, his fingers stained with Rix's blood, completely amazed by the fact that he was almost in tears, "You can't die dramatically! That's my job! Rix? Rix!?"

Silence save for the battle cries and clashes.

"Rixintine!" Two voices shouted at the same time and Raz was pushed aside by Sasha and Milla, stumbling backwards so that he fell onto his rear.

"Why was he here!?" Milla brushed a strand of hair from the dead boy's face.

"He…he protected me." Raz whimpered, shocked by the fact that there now were tears running down his cheeks, "H-he really **did** care…!"

"Razputin!" Sasha looked enraged as he shot a glare over his shoulder at Raz, "What do you think you're doing on the battlefield!? You were told to hide! You are the last of your kind now that your brother is dead! Fool! You've doomed us all!"

And he turned back to Rix's body which Milla was now sobbing over. Raz sat in the bloody grass, stunned. Sasha had just dissed him!? They cared about Rixintine!? What was this!?

"_You don't understand."_ A chilling, female voice in his mind made his blood run cold, _"You and Rix were the last Psychics. The last hope for the Naught Empire. Rixintine was to be wed to me. But now your Empire will fall due to your follies. Courting a lady of the Truman Empire who was already claimed for political reasoning…that was the start of your demise, my love…"_

"…and so shall be it's end." A razor sharp bastard sword suddenly sprouted from his chest. The pain was so white hot and intense that he couldn't even scream, he simply keeled over onto his side, leaking brilliant red liquid, eyes wide with pain and disbelief.

_**It's just a dream…**_

_Sasha! Milla Help me! Why don't you care!?_

_**It's only a dream…**_

_Help me! Please! It hurts!_

_**It's not real…**_

_No! No, please! I don't want to die! Why don't you help me!?_

_**It isn't real…**_

_Is it because of Rix!? Why!? WHY!?_

_**IT'S NOT REAL!!**_

* * *

Raz howled and rolled over so fast he fell halfway out of bed, still tangled in his sheets, a panicked expression playing across his face as he starred blankly at his upside down room and panting slightly. It took him a couple of minutes to compose himself and when he scrambled into an upright position, a wave of dizziness washed over him, making his head spin as the blood rushed back down.

_A freaking nightmare…_ He ran his fingers through his hair and glared at the numbers glowing slightly on the digital clock that rested on his bedside stand. Two in the morning. Raz scowled, _Did you wake me up for this, Rixintine? I know that nightmare was from you. Just like the first one was._

His answer was a burst of red and orange lights behind his eyes, a surge of cold, darkness, the sensation of falling, and the prison in the ice castle. He shook himself and made a snarling noise when he found himself chained to the wall again, Rixintine looking at him past the bars with a sad expression.

"You're such an idiot, Raz. Go back to sleep."

Black.

* * *

Lili got up early every morning to avoid Razputin. But this morning, at the crack of dawn, she found him sitting in the kitchen, playing absently with his goggles on the table in front of him. She froze in the threshold when she saw him, anger boiling bubbling inside her. Raz apparently sensed this and looked up.

"Oh…hey…" He muttered vaguely in a blank sort of voice and then looked back down at his goggles, twisting the straps around his fingers.

"What're you doing up so early?" She snapped at him, not moving from her place.

"Had a nightmare." He replied, still not looking up.

"Tch, coward." She snorted, trying to tick him off.

"Sure…yeah…" His voice shook and he looked away from her, sniffing slightly. She raised an eyebrow.

"Are you…are you crying?"

"No." He said but it wasn't very convincing. Rolling her eyes, she walked over to the table and sat down across from him on the pretense that she was lacing up her boots.

"So…what kind of nightmares?"

He hesitated before answering, "The…the kind where you kill me. And nobody cares that I'm dead."

Lili stopped what she was doing and starred at him, her mouth hanging open, and he looked around at her. His green eyes were sparkling with tears and when he realized she was watching him he quickly looked away again, running the back of his hand over his face several times.

"You're so immature." She said and he stiffened.

"I…I'm sorry, Lili, this really is…I mean, I've been such an idiot and I…" He stood up and walked over to her, "Well, you can slap me for this later but…"

He leaned forward and kissed her.

* * *

In the ice castle, Razputin stirred and blinked; his vision shifting to see, not the icey bars of his cell, but the kitchen of the Counselor's Lodge. He was seeing what Rix was seeing just as he had before. He saw a pair of slightly shocked amber eyes and tried to shake off his grogginess.

"Lili…?"

Rixintine pulled away and Lili slowly brought a hand up to touch her lips.

"No…no you didn't…! You kissed her!? You…you…you…" Raz called Rixintine a number of foul names, none of which the alter ego seemed to hear.

"_Sorry."_ He heard Rix muttered in hurried voice, backing away slightly, _"I…I just thought that maybe…"_

And he turned and dashed from the room and back down the hall into Raz's room but not before catching a snatch of Lili's thoughts,

_Maybe…I was wrong…_

* * *

Rix grinned at Raz from his ice throne, having let Raz out of the prison.

"What the heck were you doing, kissing her like that!? I thought you wanted kill her!"

"Things change, Raz," Rix said in a dreamy sort of voice, "I explained everything to her. About me…about you…about everything. She seemed to take it okay." His smile grew as Raz's face flushed in rage, "She likes me better. They all like me better."

"You're a liar." Razputin snarled back and Rixintine howled with maniacal laughter, thumping a fist on his leg. He stopped abruptly and gazed at Raz with a blank expression.

"That had no heart, Razputin. **You're** the liar."

* * *

"It's like I'm lost, it's like I'm giving up slowly…and I know these voices in my head are mine alone, and I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now…And I know I let you have all the power…it's like I can't breathe, it's like I can't see anything, nothing but you…it's like I can't think without you interrupting me. In my thoughts, in my dreams, you've taken over me. It's like I'm not me." –'Addicted' by Kelly Clarkson

Well, I hope this chapter was enough to keep you satisfied for a while because I don't know how long it's going to be until I get to update again. Sorry for all the lame filler from the last two chapters because I know that's what it was. XP

Rixintine is worming his way further and further into Raz's mind and probably his heart too by the looks of things. Darn. What a problem. Guess he's going to have fight mighty hard to get himself out of this one.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave me a review! See you guys! Byes!


	17. The Psitanium Staff

Ahhhhhhg! Where have I **been**!? Really, I have no clue what I've been doing, I can't believe I'm being such a slacker on my fan fictions during the summer! Shame on me! So I hope to make up for it with a twisted chapter seventeen! (I put the lyrics at the beginning now because I want to. No important reason.)

* * *

**Seventeen: The Psitanium Staff**

"We didn't start the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning! We didn't start the fire! No we didn't light it but we tried to fight it!" –We Didn't Start the Fire (ah, I don't know who it's by, sorry)

* * *

"Lili! Lili, hey Lili, wait up!" Raz nearly tripped over himself the next morning trying to tie his shoelace and catch up to his ex-girlfriend at the same time, "Lili! I need to talk to you!" When she still didn't stop walking, he leaned against the railing to the Lake, took a deep breath, and said loudly, "It's about last night…!"

She stopped, shifting her wait to one foot, one hand resting on the worn wooden rail, and waited for him to finish trying his shoelace and catch up with her. She didn't turn to greet him so he sidled around in front of her, panting lightly. Her face was expressionless.

"Look, Lili, whatever Ri—I said to you last night it was…it was like this, I…no, I mean," He struggled with his words for a moment or two, readjusting his backpack to buy time, "It's not true, okay. Well, no it is, but I—."

"Shut up." Lili said in an edgy tone and Raz snapped his mouth shut, looking wary. "What happened last night was a…well, it happened so it doesn't matter." She tried to side step him to continue her way to the lake but Razputin stepped in her way again.

"Listen to me, Lili."

"_She's not going to listen to you, Raz."_

Raz ignored Rixintine's jibe and continued, "It wasn't me talking to you last night it was the alter ego living in my head. Rixintine. The one who's trying to kill you…!"

"_Who says I want to kill her anymore?"_

The young Psychonaut felt goosebumps pop over his skin and was glad for the Psychonaut sweater covering his arms so Lili couldn't see, "Whatever he told you…just, please, forget it, okay. And forget whatever he did."

Lili's eyes narrowed.

"_Can I say I told you so?"_

"You could never lie, Raz, that's what makes you so easy to read." And she physically pushed him aside and stalked down the wooden path. Raz watched her go feeling nauseated. She hadn't believed him—well that was just plain typical—and what was more, Rixintine seemed to be absolutely overjoyed with that fact and Raz's misery. Raz's stomach churned and tied itself in a knot as he turned and headed towards the Main Lodge again; feeling two emotions that were at completely different ends of the spectrum was enough to make him wish he hadn't eaten breakfast.

"Razputin, I need to talk to you." Sasha had just stepped out of the Main Lodge, "It's about Rixintine."

"Sasha, now is really not the time." Raz was dragging himself miserably back around the Main Lodge when Sasha dropped down right in front of him.

"Now is the time. It's important." The German gripped the boy's shoulder, "Now, Razputin."

"Geez, and you're always telling me not to rush…" Raz rolled his eyes but followed Sasha down the path towards the GPC, "Um, really, though, what about classes. I still have to teach the second group of kids pyrokinesis."

"Look at your schedule once in a while, Raz. Levitation today. Milla's with them all out on the docks."

"Oh…" Raz said in an embarrassed sort of way, feeling stupid. His days were usually not so routine and organized. The only schedule he'd ever lived by was the circus performance dates; times to set up, times to perform, times to pack up, times to leave. Everything in between was a "do-whatever-time." Raz dropped down the ladder after Sasha and followed him down the stained glass stairs to the lab. The Brain Tumbler was humming.

"Sasha…what're you planning?" Raz stopped at the bottom of the stairs, looking from the German Psychonaut who had strolled up to a teetering pile of boxes and was attempting to push them aside to find something and then back to the Brain Tumbler. He was not ready to repeat the incident that had happened the last time he'd entered his own mind via the Brain Tumbler.

"I've been doing some reading, thinking, and experimenting for the past couple of days; since your first full encounter with Rixintine; and I've come to two conclusions." Sasha straightened up, dusting himself off, frowning, and walked over to another pile of boxes and began digging through them as well.

_You mean you've been spending many a sleepless night waiting to "pick my brains," as the phrase goes…_ Raz thought, hiding his smile with a fake yawn, "So?"

Sasha continued as though he hadn't heard, "The first is that Rix is permanently embedded into your psyche. Unfortunately, if that were the case, then I myself would have to discharge you from the Psychonauts; Rixintine is just too dangerous and too powerful to be around…citizens." Raz understood that this meant he'd be locked in an insane asylum for the rest of his days and scowled at the thought, "However, I think this very unlikely seeing as you have a control; if limited one; over him." Sasha also abandoned this pile of boxes, levitated himself onto a ledge and started shoving boxes around, "The second is far more likely and is fairly close to the assumption I made after your escapade in the Brain Tumbler. Rixintine has constructed himself from the mental energies created by your bad memories but when the overloaded emotion of heartbreak flooded your entire psyche, Rixintine could not handle that much psychic power at once and he was, essentially, broken." Sasha paused and looked over his shoulder, "Is he listening to all of this?"

Raz blinked and focused on the icey part of his mind where Rix dwelled. There was quiet with the sound of soft breathing, "No, he's sleeping again."

"Right." Sasha went back to his boxes, "So although he is unstable to the point of insanity, he can still be erased." Sasha straightened up with a long, thin object wrapped in black paper clutched in his hand, "Rixintine is a figment of your imagination, Razputin, a collection of mental energies that have been condensed into a memory. At least, that is my idea." The German levitated down in front of Raz and undid the thick, black cords binding the paper shut, "And I believe this weapon may be of some help." He unwrapped the paper and tossed it carelessly aside. Raz couldn't hold back a gasp.

Resting delicately in Sasha's gloved hands was a staff carved completely of Psitanium. It was nearly five feet long with rounded ends. Engraved skillfully up and down the staff itself were symbols the majority of which Raz did not recognize; they were probably ancient and from many different cultures by the looks of things. The staff looked fragile, as thought it would shatter into a thousand shards if it was so much as breathed on wrong, but at the same time it appeared dangerously vicious. Razputin couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was that sent the chill up his spine as he gazed with wide emerald eyes at the beautiful staff but it had to be something that had been seeping into the Psitanium for over a millennium if he was feeling from just looking.

He reached out to take it.

"I'd put on gloves, Razputin, and mentally brace yourself." Sasha said sternly, sounding slightly strained. Raz did as he was told and gently lifted the staff from Sasha's hands and held it in his own, gazing at it, "On one of our more…complicated missions, Milla and I came across this, well, this artifact." Sasha removed his glasses briefly and polished them on his jacket before replacing them and watching Raz turn the staff over and over in his hands, "Even the Psychonaut historians could not name all of the symbols that decorate its surface." The German reached out and pointed to one that looked like an arrow, pointing upwards, on the top of a lightning bolt with a small triangle on its left side, "This is the Nordic sign for success and this," He indicated a straight line with two half triangles at the top and one at the bottom and two diamonds in the middle, "Is the Nordic talisman for prosperity and well being."

"This thing must be…prehistoric…!" Raz murmured and then smiled slightly, "I know what that is," He traced an Asian writing with one finger, "It's the Chinese symbol of good fortune…and that's the Egyptian ankh, the symbol of eternal life and life-giving power or something like that."

"It also depicts the sun, sky and earth." Sasha added, "This carving here is the Labyrinth."

"Like the movie?" Raz asked and Sasha raised an eyebrow, "Erm…never mind."

"The Labyrinth is the Minoan and Hopi symbol for the path of the initiate, or the beginning. It is also the symbol of the womb (Raz's nose scrunched briefly) and the cycles of birth, life, death, and rebirth. This is the five thousand year old Phoenician Traveler's Symbol meant for total protection in travel and this here is the mythological Phoenix symbol; the immortal creature that rises from the ashes symbolizing regeneration of man's indestructible spirit. And—."

"Sasha," Raz said flatly, still holding the staff, "The history lesson is great and all but what's this have to do with me and Rixintine?"

Sasha looked at the boy and Raz could feel the steely gaze from behind those tinted glasses, "Razputin, this staff has been called by many names. Celtic, Death Head. European, Sea Griffin." Raz opened his mouth but Sasha silenced him with a wave of his hand, "Egyptian, Winged Scarab. Chinese, I Ching. Greek, Europa. French, Fleur de Lis. German, Meine Skelette and many others that we do not know." The German Psychonaut, put his hands deep into his pockets, "But the name that has remained with it through most of the centuries is the Nordic one. Triskellion. The symbol is depicted at both ends of the staff." Sasha pointed them both out.

Raz frowned. The twisting corkscrews of lines looked slightly familiar but he just couldn't figure out what they reminded him of. Then it dawned on him suddenly.

"The Psychonaut Insignia!"

Sasha nodded, "True, the Psychonauts based their logo off of the Nordic Triskellion. Its triple spirals represent the trinity of mind, body, and spirit. Ever moving, ever changing."

"Still doesn't answer my question. And the one that I just thought of. Why do you have it?"

"I…" Sasha hesitated for a split second, "You can feel it, can't you Raz? The sinister feeling resonating from the Psitanium? Triskellion had been passed down through the centuries from one psychic warlord to the next; one would kill the other to take it and then that one would be killed and so on and so forth. It was a little too dangerous to keep it around Headquarters because of all the psychic activity around the place so I was commissioned to bring it to Whispering Rock where, hopefully, the Psitanium here would balance its effects. And it has worked. As for what this has to do with you and Rixintine," The man walked over to his control panel and keyed something in. The Brain Tumbler lowered itself to the floor, a low buzz now accompanying the humming noise, "I've done several tests and I think you may be able to take that staff into your mentality in the same way you can take the Cobweb Duster."

"That's not completely answering the question." Raz grumbled, tilting the staff up and down so that the Psitanium caught the light and sparkled.

"Razputin, don't you see?" Sasha spun around, pushing a couple of loose strands of black hair from his face as he did so, "This is a Psitanium **weapon**! This would easily eradicate Rixintine from your psyche!" The man composed himself, "At least, that's the theory."

Raz looked from Sasha to Triskellion chewing on his lip as he thought. Rixintine could be eradicated? Really? No more death threats? No more angst leaking from him like a broken sewer pipe? No more having to be on constant guard? No more lies? No more danger? No more—hold on. Rixintine was a build of emotional psychic energy and memory, like a Mean Little Ball of Hate that had gotten a mind of its own. Sounded simple enough. But when you got down to the grit of it, well, that was a different matter. If Rixintine was strong enough to block Raz from a part of his own mind and take control of Raz's body, not to mention give him nightmares, then Rix had to be more than just emotional psychic energy and memories gone sour.

The Youngest Psychonaut Ever frowned as he tried to sort things out. He wasn't a genius, like Sasha, but he wasn't stupid either. Rix was unstable, true, but he was strongly linked into Raz's psyche, not unlike a parasite. Sometimes, if the parasite died then the host would either die as well or be seriously harmed. The shudder that flickered through him was magnified by the horrid staff in his hands. He turned his apprehensive green eyes on Sasha who looked expectant.

"Sasha, I…I can't. Who knows what could happen. I mean, think about it, Rix is the intrusion into my psyche, the parasite. He's, well, he's mentally linked to me in a dangerous way. I **know**, I can **feel** him digging into my brain." He grimaced at the thought, "I can't just destroy him. Who knows what it will do to me." He pressed Triskellion into the German's hands, "Sorry, Sasha, it was great idea and everything but…" Raz grinned, tapping his temple, "He's my own creation, you know?" And he vanished back up the stained glass stairs.

Sasha stared at the space where the boy had disappeared for a moment or two and then looked back at Triskellion. With a sigh, he leaned the Psitanium staff against a nearby wall and headed for the stairs as well. Raz had a point and a delicate one at that. Why hadn't he thought of that? Obviously this simple case of MPD went far beyond that. And obviously it would take a little bit more studying and thinking.

Time for some more coffee.

* * *

Whew, that one was rather…sciencey…! That's not even a word. Ah well, I think we're getting along alright and at least we're getting **somewhere**! Okay, another disclaimer time. I got all of those symbols/names from a pamphlet at the Renaissances Festival last summer so I'm not sure how historically accurate they are. If there is one I got wrong, please feel free to correct me. **Nicely**.

Anyway, thanks for reading, please review, and have a great summer!


	18. Truth, Dare, Fireball, Promise To Repeat

I'm hitting road blocks again. I can't write anything, it sucks. I can't draw anything either. Something's wrong with me! Ahhhhhg! (slams her head on the keyboard) This sucks, this sucks, this sucks, this SUCKS!

* * *

**Eighteen: Truth, Dare, Fireball, Promise to Repeat**

* * *

"You know this road in life can be so tough; you must be strong. Just believe in yourself and don't you fear. So open up your mind, and close your eyes, take another look from the other side." – 'Open Up Your Mind' from Saiyuki (I dunno who sings it)

* * *

A group of rowdy boys who had finished Milla's Levitation course (it wasn't that hard to learn Levitation) and where wandering around camp found Agent Razputin sitting in the giant tree at the top of the hill in the Reception Area.

"Hey, Agent Razputin, what're you doing?" One of them shouted.

Raz was perched on one of the highest branches, leaning back against the trunk, far too high for the PSI-Cadets to levitate yet. The only reason they'd noticed him was because he'd been absentmindedly been stripping the bark off the tree and tossing it casually to the ground. One of the pieces had hit a boy in the head.

"Hey! I asked you what you were doing!" The boy called again and Raz blinked himself out of his daze, looking down at the four boys on the ground.

"Thinking." He called back.

"About what?" Another shouted up.

"Stuff." Raz replied elusively and then sat back against the tree again. The four boys on the ground looked at one another and then back up at the figure huddled in the trees.

"He looks Byronic." One boy whispered and the other three looked at him in confusion, "Never mind."

"I'm not Byronic!" Raz leaned over the branch again, looking disgruntled, "And I'm not emo either so cut it out!" He grinned when the four boys looked up at him in astonishment, "I am a telepath, you know."

The four boys grinned back and then one of them called up, "Play a game with us!"

"A game?" Raz pushed his redish bangs from his face, "Nah, I don't think so." He fell back against the tree trunk with a grunt of pain and disappeared from view. The boys started muttering to themselves. This muttering was interrupted by Agent Razputin falling out of the tree with a rather sickening thud. He didn't move.

"Agent Razputin!?"

"Agent Raz!"

"Agent Razputin, are you okay!?"

Raz groaned and pushed himself into a sitting position, one hand on his head and the other on his stomach, "Oooohhh…I think that's going to leave a mark." The four boys laughed and Raz managed a weak grin, "Well, since I'm down here, I guess I'll take you up on your offer for a game! What're we playing?"

The four other boys flopped onto the grass in a circle with the older psychic.

"Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Promise to Repeat!" The tallest one stated firmly and the other three nodded in agreement. Raz blinked at them, looking slightly taken aback, but shrugged and settled into a cross-legged position.

"Okay, Agent Raz goes first!" The tallest boy announced and they all looked expectantly at the Youngest Psychonaut Ever.

"Uh, okay, um," The green-eyed teen turned his attention to the spiky blonde sitting at his left, "You—."

"Mikey."

"Right, Mikey, Truth, Dare, Fireball, or Promise to Repeat?"

"Mmmm?" Mikey tapped a finger to his chin comically, "Dare!"

"Okay…" Green eyes scanned the area for an idea, "Tell the next girl you see that you think she's hot…!"

Mikey's features turned a sickly pale color and the other boys laughed and made disgusted faces, nudging Mikey in the side. The grin that had settled on their counselor's features was plastered there like that of the Cheshire Cat.

"Go on, Mikey! Ask him!" The other boys, having gotten over their laughing fit, were now encouraging their friend to ask someone else the game's question. This went on for about an hour, several odd dares being asked, several pyrokinetic fires had to be put out, and the strangest truths and repeats were stated in embarrassed murmurs.

"Agent Raz!" The tallest boy, Adam, pointed his finger dramatically at the teenager across from him, "Truth, Dare, Fireball, or Promise to Repeat?"

"TRUTH!" Came the very loud answer.

"Uhhh…" This late in the game, everyone was running out of decent things to make others do or say, "Um, what's your deepest, darkest, most protected secret? And no lies!"

There was silence. A stony gaze met with Adam's and the younger boys gulped.

"You want it…?" A harsh voice hissed, "My secret?" The Psychonaut leaned his head back with a heavy sigh, "Raz has split personalities."

"Huh?" All four boys asked at once.

* * *

Raz pulled on the ice chain that led from the wall to the circle of ice holding his ankles together. It probably would have been much easier had his wrists not been bound as well. Rixintine was out and about again and who knew what he'd done (or was doing) to those four PSI-Cadets.

With a snort of disgust, Raz slumped back against the wall, breathing deeply. He'd tried everything; Pyrokinesis, Telekinesis, PSI Blasts, Levitation, Shield, heck, he'd even tried Clairvoyance but nothing worked. Not that he'd expected it to; he just wanted something to do. It tormented Raz to be locked inside his own mind, knowing the damage that Rix could be causing and being unable to do anything about it. In a way, it had reminded him of the time that he'd sneezed his own brain out…

"_Oh, this is just great! Now what do I do!? Have…to…think! Like I got a choice."_

Raz half-smiled at the memory but then fell back into his slump. It was sort of like before. The only thing left for him to do was think. So think he would. Raz attempted to shuffle into a more comfortable position while in the restraints and finally just stretched out flat on the floor with his bound hands resting on his steadily rising and falling chest.

His thoughts inevitably turned to the events that had occurred earlier that day. Triskellion. A Psitanium staff that could possibly destroy Rixintine. But at what cost? Getting rid of Rix in such a brutal and straight forward sort of way seemed just plain…bland. Almost cliché, even. Not to mention that it could leave permanent mental scarring. Raz figured there had to be another way. Merge Rix into his psyche? Slowly eradicate the stupid castle Rix lived in? Tell a higher up?

Raz shook himself. Telling someone besides Sasha, Milla, Ford, or Oleander from the Agency would only spell him certain doom. He'd be discharged from the Psychonauts, stripped of his title, probably experimented on for a while, and then hauled off to an extremely secure asylum where there was no chance of Rixintine ever doing any harm ever again. Raz had already been in one asylum and that had been of his own free will. He wasn't too keen to be sent into another one. Forcibly.

* * *

"That's not a very funny joke, Agent Raz." Muttered an olive-skinned boy named Lewis, "My second cousin had split personalities and he got locked away in an insane asylum."

"I'm sorry." The harsh-voiced Raz leaned forward again, "But really, I'm not lying. Raz has split personalities. I'm Rixintine, nice to meet you!"

"And you can prove this how?" Asked Lewis' brother, Luke, looking extremely skeptical.

"Oh, well, that's easy. Why do you think Raz wasn't around camp for a couple days?" Rix grinned inwardly as he watched the ten year old psychics squirm.

"Agent Vodello said he—you were sick." Mikey responded in a quiet voice and the three other boys nodded in response.

"Yeah, sick with me." Rix jerked a thumb at his chest, "We got into a mental fight and it got a little on the dangerous side. Raz had to rest up for a little while." Rixintine deflated, "It was…my fault." Adam, Mikey, Luke, and Lewis all looked at him questioningly and Rix managed a feebly grin, "Well, it's not like I'm hurting you right? Oh, geez, that sounded like I was a bad guy. Uh…"

Mikey sniggered and Lewis made a dull coughing noise. Adam didn't attempt to hide his laughter at all and soon all four boys were laughing alongside Rixintine.

_See, Raz, I'm not hurting anyone! I'm just having fun! _

"_Shut up, you! So you're good with kids! Whoop-dee-do!"_

_Jealous much?_

"_I'm…I'm not jealous!" _

_Sssuuuuuurrrreee…!_

"_I'm NOT!"_

Rix's grin grew wider.

_Don't be a liar, Razputin. You know they like me more…_

This time there was no response.

* * *

Lili heard laughter ringing faintly from the Reception Area as she trailed through the Parking Lot and made her way past the fire pit and down the dirt path. She froze, however, when she saw Raz sitting at the top of a hill, under the dead branches of a giant tree, howling with mirth alongside four PSI-Cadets.

Her angry features softened. He was trying, she'd give him that, he was really trying to move on.

She watched him toss his head, getting his bangs out of his face again, and sweep his gaze affectionately across the view of the Reception Area. His gaze found hers and he glanced away quickly. Before he had a chance to look back, she'd turned, and disappeared back into the high foliage of the fire pit.

* * *

I know that was a rather short chapter but I didn't want to throw too much in there and not save anything for the next chapter. A doozy of a nineteenth chapter, I hope it to be.

Wow, was that just me or did that sound like Yoda?

See what happens on summer vacation…


	19. Reckless Fire

AHHHHHGGGG!! Where has this thing _been_!? Oh my _gosh_, it's covered in Mental Cobwebs! Crap, crap, crap, crap, CRAP! I'm really, really, very sorry for not updating in…in…in however long it's been since my last update but Writer's Block is EVIL and won't leave me alone! Anyway, I'm super sorry.

Moving on. Got the chapter title from the theme song to the S-cry-Ed series, 'Reckless Fire.' I've got to stop using song lyrics that I don't know who sings them. (Hey! Digitaldreamer updated _Cursum Perficio_! Whoo-hoo!)

* * *

**Nineteen: Reckless Fire**

* * *

"Reckless fire! Yes, fearlessly improve the means of life. The world is a survival. The only way you're heading is into either black or white." –'Reckless Fire' from S-cry-Ed (I don't know who sings it)

* * *

Rixintine enjoyed the company of the four PSI-Cadets all the way back to the Main Lodge where they all ate a very hearty lunch and then into the TV Lounge. Rix settled back into a beanbag as Adam, Mikey, Luke, and Lewis all scrambled for their own seats, arguing and laughing. Silence fell when the opening sequence of _I Am Legend_ started playing.

Rix felt his eyelids droop. He'd been bouncing all over the place most of the afternoon and it had worn him out. Mentally and physically. Keeping Raz locked up and unawares of the goings on in the real world took quite a bit of mental effort. Rix sighed heavily, allowing his eyes to close all the way. The last thing he saw was Will Smith speeding down an abandoned New York street.

* * *

"Hey Raz, wake up." A soft voice whispered and Raz gave a muffled sort of groaned, blinking into wakefulness. With a loud yawn and a stiff stretch that was limited by his restraints, the young Psychonaut rolled over and into an upright position to meet the gaze of his alternate ego.

"Are you going to let me out of here, Rixintine?"

"Yeah. I'm bored being in control." Rix pressed his hand to the bars of the cell and they melted away, leaving him free to step inside and do the same to Raz's manacles. As soon as he was on his feet, Raz punched the psychic entity in the face.

"OW!" Rix dropped to his knees, holding his hands over his mouth and glaring at Raz, "What the heck was that for!?" All of this was slightly muffled.

"Because I hate your stinking guts!" Raz snapped and made for the door and Rix grabbed his shoulder and jerked him back, "Let go!"

"I need to talk to you!" Rix's lip was split and bleeding, red blood leaving little darkened spots of crimson on the alter ego's red top.

"Yeah, well, I don't want to talk to you!" Raz jerked away and ran for the door, disappearing through it.

Rixintine wiped the blood that was trickling down his chin with the back of his hand and looked at the bright red stain smeared there, "You're such a liar, Raz. How can anybody love a liar like you…?"

* * *

Raz cracked one eye open to find himself sprawled comfortably on one of the many beanbags in the TV Lounge with four PSI-Cadets, all of whom had their attentions captured by the movie on the television set. Raz watched for a little bit before realizing it was _I Am Legend_ and, having watched the movie too recently to be interested in it, decided he needed a nap. Mentally sleeping was not the same as physically sleeping.

* * *

Razputin was walking down a hall, hieroglyphics embedded in the walls. Torches flickered, casting strange shadows. His feet were bare, golden circles jangled on his ankles, loose cream shorts waved around his knees, clasped around his waist with a golden band inlaid with rubies, golden cuffs clamped up his wrists to his elbows, his chest was bare, and a gold circlet set with a single emerald held his bangs from his brilliant green eyes.

Egypt.

A tomb.

He stepped into a chamber filled with treasure; scrolls, statues, necklaces, and all assortment of precious artifacts. And right in the middle of the room was a golden sarcophagus inlaid with sparkling Psitanium. The lid was off, leaning against the other side of the sarcophagus and away from Raz so he couldn't see what was on it.

Curious, he walked up to the jeweled case of rest and peered inside to see if there was a mummy. He'd never seen a mummy before. A rough shove in the middle of his back sent him sprawling head over heels into the sarcophagus. As he rolled over onto his back, thick bandages twined up his legs, over his chest, and pinned his arms together, stopping just at the base of his neck.

"Well, well, well…" A familiar face leaned over the edge of the sarcophagus and Rixintine gazed down at the helpless young Psychonaut, "If it isn't Razputin…"

"Rixintine!" Shouted the youth, struggling against his bonds, "What do you want!?"

"You're such an idiot." Rix sneered, pushing his redish bangs from his face, "_I_want control. _I_ want _everything_ you have." His features changed, softened, looked sad, "But I'm not doing this to hurt you, Raz, I'm doing this to protect you. You and all those you've been lying to for the past five years."

"Bull!" Raz snarled but Rix clamped his hand over the Psychonaut's mouth.

"Shhhh! You're loud enough to wake the dead and all their ancestors!" Which reminds me…" He slid his hand away from Raz's mouth and grabbed a fistful of redish hair instead, "I think I'll just take away all those painful memories too!"

And he placed his other hand on Raz's forehead. Razputin felt an odd surge course through his entire body, like a blast of heat, and then a numb hand of ice reached inside his head and made his cheeks drain of color. Green irises became rimmed in bloodshot white, the spark in them slowly fading as Rixintine drained Raz of all he was.

After what seemed like forever, Rix withdrew. He peered down at Raz, who lay in the sarcophagus like a doll; green eyes filmed, head lolled to one side, no longer bound by the bandages. They were no longer necessary. Leaning back, Rix said to someone out of view, "Come on, Lili, help me put the lid on."

…

He was aware of the light, the fading light, the 'chink' as something slid into place, and then impenetrable darkness. The darkness closed in on him, suffocating, terrifying. In a deep pit of blackness that no one could see into, a small voice whispered,

"Who…am I?"

* * *

Razputin shot upright, got hit with a wave of dizziness, and fell back, a hand to his forehead. None of the boys in the Lounge noticed.

A nightmare. That's all it had been. A nightmare. Another nightmare he'd have to get sorted out before this was all said and done.

The teen's eyes flickered towards the television set.

"_You can't go running into the dark, dummy."_

Raz shuffled his fingers through his hair, dislodging his goggles so that they clattered to the wooden floor behind him. This drew the attention of the four PSI-Cadets. Raz grinned and telekinetically brought his goggles back into his hands, "Hey guys, good movie, huh?"

The boys returned the attention to the screen and Raz sighed. The longer he put off confronting the problem; confronting Rixintine; the harder it was going to get to solve it. But destroying him was not an option that appealed to Raz. Then again, if the dreams—no, _nightmares_—he'd been having proved anything it was that Rix wasn't going to hold back. He wasn't going to hesitate. He'd make sure that Raz got out of the way and _stayed_ out of the way.

But what confused the young Psychonaut was the fact that Rixintine seemed to have a deep and overly protective care for Razputin. And yet, Rix was willing to kick Raz out of the picture for…what?

"_Well, freedom's one of them." _Rixintine's voice echoed inside Raz's mind, _"And then, of course, Lili."_

_You still want to kill her!? I won't—!_

"_Shut up, Raz. You're so annoying. I don't want to kill Lili anymore! I want her! She wants me! Isn't it obvious?"_

_And you call me a liar._ Raz snorted, tucking his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling, _Rix, I'm obviously over this so why can't you just _go away_!?_

"_Because _I'm_ not over it!"_ Came the snapped reply and Raz winced at the flash of fire in his mind, _"And because I want freedom too…it's not fair…I've got a conscious! I exist! But you won't let me out!"_

_Because you're an impulsive, impatient, immature, and self-gratifying personality in my head that—! _ Raz cut the thought off, blinking in surprise. He had it. That was it. That was why Rix was so attached to his mentality. It was the only thing holding him in place, like a mental anchor.

"Sorry, guys, gotta run!" Raz bolted out of the TV Lounge and out the Main Lodge as fast as he could. The noon sunlight blinded him briefly as he barreled his way down the ramp and jumped into the Transport System.

"Where would you like me to—?" The voice began.

"Sasha's Lab!" Raz screamed, "And step on it!"

As the car jerked him back against the seats, Raz felt a flurry of activity in his mind; a flood of emotions that weren't his; fear, curiosity, anger, and, above all, suspicion.

"_What're you doing, Razputin!?"_ Rix cried, panicking, _"What're you hiding from me!? Let me see those thoughts! Let me see them! RAZPUTIN!!"_

* * *

Oh boy, what's Raz up to know, huh? Nasty of me to throw in that cliff hanger when I haven't updated in forever. I hope you guys are still reading this and haven't forgotten it. I've been really, really busy and had a terrible case of Writer's Block.

I wish Psychonauts had a sequel…

So, thank you for sticking around for this chapter, I'll try to get the next one up even sooner! Thanks for reading, please, please, please leave me a review, and have a great day! Byes!


	20. The Crimson Blood of One

**Warning:** There will a lot of blood and trauma in this chapter.

* * *

**Twenty: The Crimson Blood of One…**

* * *

"These little demons, they come out at night and they mess with my feelings when I turn out the light. … By the time you hear the voice I hear I could just disappear into these things I fear. … To live in this fashion with these songs in my head, a slave to the shadow who sleeps in my bed. He won't give a damn if I'm not who I'm supposed to be, on the other side of me." –'Other Side of Me' by Jules Anna Jones

"Sasha! Sasha!" Raz fell head over heels out of the Transport System stump and flew across the tile floor, barreling into the German Psychonaut, "Sasha! I got it! I can beat Rix! I can get rid of him this time, I'm sure of it! I've got it figured out!"

"Razputin! Control!" Sasha snapped, grabbing the boy's shoulders and holding him away, "Breathe! Calm down, gain control, then explain."

Raz slowed his breathing down, swallowed, and grinned, "I know how to do this, Sasha, I'm pretty sure I got it figured out. I mean, I think I know how to get rid of Rixintine."

Sasha's brow knitted as he frowned at the young Psychonaut. Raz's cheeks were flushed with excitement but there was a ruckus going on inside his mind. Rixintine was furious with Razputin. Because Raz was keeping a secret from him.

"Alright, Razputin," Sasha led the boy over to the Brain Tumbler, "What do you need?"

"First of all, I want to make something absolutely clear." Raz sat down on a vacant chair, "I want to try this first without Triskellion, okay?" Sasha nodded, "And whatever happens, don't pull me out. I can do this by myself. If I get into trouble, I'll get out myself."

"Razputin—."

"And don't tell Milla." Raz smiled, "This is our secret. If she finds out I'm going back in there to face Rixintine again she'll never speak to you _or_ me again!"

Sasha allowed a small smile to filter onto his face, "That's true." The smile disappeared, "Are you ready for this? Dream Fluff? Smelling Salts? Everything?"

"I'm good, Sasha." Raz stood up and stretched, "Let's get this ov—!" He was interrupted by his stomach growling, "On second thought, let's get some food first!"

* * *

Lili heard the television going in the TV Lounge and walked up the stairs to see the four boys Raz had been hanging around with earlier watching _I Am Legend_. She leaned against the doorway, frowning around the room. Raz wasn't there.

"You know the alternate ending to that's better." She said and the boys all looked around at her. She smiled, "Do you know where Raz went?"

"Uhhh…" An olive-skinned boy scratched his head, "He said he had to go somewhere and ran off really quick."

"Do you where he ran off to?"

"No." All four boys said at the same time and then turned around and went back to their movie. Lili sighed and walked out of the Main Lodge. The sun was starting to set lower and lower in the sky and sooner or later it would disappear behind the mountains.

The shadows stretched longer and longer across the ground.

_What happened?_ She wondered as she levitated to the roof top and stood there watching the sun, _I thought I broke up with Raz because he'd grown away from me but now I'm trying to chase him all over camp? I mean, yeah, I get angry when I see him but maybe I'm just confused. Maybe I wasn't ready…maybe I went far too fast…_

The sky was orange and yellow stained with crimson like streaks of blood.

_Or maybe I'm over thinking this and I just need to go find Raz and talk to him…_

* * *

Raz drained the last of his water and tossed the trash can. Then he stood up and glared at the Brain Tumbler, fists clenched. Beneath his gloves, his palms started to sweat. Rixintine had been silent the whole time Razputin had been eating but the young Psychonaut could sense the anger and frustration bubbling in the ice castle that held his alter ego.

"Are you sure you don't want to take Triskellion with you?" Sasha asked as he took his place at the console.

"I'm sure." Raz replied, snapping his goggles over his emerald eyes, "Besides, that thing scares the daylights out of me. It's creepy."

"Well then, whenever you're ready…" Even the German Psychonaut sounded wary. After Raz's initial mental encounter with Rix, being wary was not a fault.

Razputin swallowed thickly and stepped up to the humming machine. He nodded to Sasha, not trusting himself to speak, and felt the familiar hot poker pull him into vertigo.

* * *

"Lili, darling, what are you doing up there!?" Milla called from the balcony in front of the Lodge and Lili leapt down to meet her.

"I was thinking. And kind of looking for Raz." The girl sighed, "I think…I need to talk to him. Do you know where he went?"

"No, actually, I was looking for Sasha. You haven't seen him around, have you?"

"No."

* * *

"Hey Raz, long time no see." Rixintine sneered, hands in the pockets of his odd outfit, "What're you keeping from me, Razputin?" The sneer dropped, "Tell me!"

"Shove off!" Raz snapped and dodged past his alter ego, running around the throne and through the door hidden there.

"RAZ!" Rixintine's scream followed him down the long, icey hallway.

It was here somewhere, it had to be, it was the only logical reason why Rixintine hadn't broken down into figments of imagination or just general psychic energy. Raz kicked open door after door but none held what he was looking for. He turned a corner, slipped on the ice and slammed into the wall. His arm smarting, he took off again, kicking open another door. Then he stopped, grinning.

"Found it."

"Don't touch it!" Rix screamed, shooting out of the floor in an explosion of ice crystals, "You _can't_ touch it!"

"Get out of my way!" Raz released a volley of PSI Blasts that knocked his alter ego out of the way and ran towards the swirling sphere of rainbow colored energy. His "Id" personality; the immature, impulsive, self-gratifying part of his mind. Rixintine had tied himself to it somehow and Raz had to sever it.

"There!" A single tendril of black energy that trailed across the floor, twitching like a dying animal, "I've got you now, Rixintine!"

He severed the tendril with a single swipe of his psychic hand.

Chaos erupted.

Rixintine screamed, the ice castle shook, sending large chunks falling from the ceiling, and an explosion of psychic energy sent Raz tumbling through the door. The young Psychonaut slammed against the wall with a yelp of pain and then scrambled out of the way as a mass of ice crashed into the floor where he'd been.

_It's collapsing! All of it! Rixintine can't keep it up anymore! And I'm stuck in here!_ Raz bolted for the exit as fast as his trembling legs could carry him.

"_Razputin! Get out of there!" _Sasha's urgent voice rang out, _"There's an enormous amount of mental energy building up in that castle! Once it's unleashed, everything in that castle will be erased!"_

"I'd figured!" Raz shouted back, diving into the throne room and rolling to his feet, "Wait a second…everything's…quiet…"

Silence reigned. The castle was still. Nothing moved except for Raz's heaving chest as he panted for air.

"You idiot." Raz whirled around and felt a scream catch in his throat. Rixintine was standing a few feet away, his features livid with rage, "Do you know what you've _done_!?"

"Gotten rid of you, I thought!" Raz snapped back but fear traced his voice.

"Oooohhhh, you thought wrong, Razzy…!" Rix hissed, letting a maniacal grin flash briefly across his face, "That Id personality gave me power and, yeah, it anchored me here but I can survive without it. Unfortunately for you, though…that Id personality you severed took away Mr. Nice Rix." The floor rumbled and Rixintine rose into the air, bright orange energy sparking off his body like fire, "Oh, and Raz, I think you should know something…"

"Wha…what?" Raz squeaked out breathlessly.

"I don't like to lose!" Rix brought his hands up in front of him, still levitating in the air, and clenched his fingers into fists.

Spikes created of ice shot out of the floor, knocking Raz off his feet and sending him sprawling. As he pushed himself onto his hands and knees, he heard a sharp whistling behind him and looked over his shoulder.

"Darn it!" Raz threw himself to the side, crossing his arms over his face to protect himself as the hail of ice needles rained down on him. Most of them missed but a fair number of them sliced through Raz's legs and arms, sometimes imbedding into his flesh. A particularly large one cut through his exposed side, drawing a scream of pain from the boy. Rixintine howled with laughter.

Raz got to his feet slowly, one hand pressed over his bleeding side, and held his hand out in front of him. A Confusion Grenade flickered to life but before the Psychonaut could throw it, a PSI-Blast caught him in the gut and sent him sprawling.

"Razputin, Razputin…" Rixintine chided as he crossed his arms over his chest, watching Raz struggle upright again, "Why can't you just accept it? No one likes you anymore; you're the Poster Boy who's faded off the front cover, you're annoying, intrusive, and it's always…about…_you_!" He blasted Raz off his feet again with another PSI-Blast, "Think about someone else, Raz! Why do you think Lili broke up with you!? Why do you think she likes me more!?"

"She doesn't!" Raz screamed back, wiping blood from his split lip, "You're lying! I know you are! You're LYING!"

"You're lying to yourself." Rix scoffed, unfolding his arms, "You lied to your Dad, you lied to Ozzy, you lied to Sasha and Milla, you lied to Ford, you lied to Oleander, you lied to me…and you lied to Lili." He stretched a hand out, "No one wants you around anymore, Razputin. You're just a conceited liar!"

The ice floor grabbed at Raz's ankles and pulled him to the floor with a crash. Raz cried out in pain and squirmed against the numbing grip but more of the ice latched itself onto his back, causing him to curl over. He turned his head and glared daggers at Rixintine as the ice forced him to bring his knees up to his chest and wrap his arms around his legs.

"Rix…in…tine…!" He grunted out as the cold substance formed over his head and forced him to bury his face in his arms, "I'll…get you…for this if…if it's…the…last…thing…I…"

The ice solidified over the young Psychonaut and Rix grinned. There, perched on a pedestal like a trophy, was Razputin, the Youngest Psychonaut Ever, encased in ice with icey angel wings coming from his back.

A work of art.

* * *

Sasha turned away from the control panel as he heard the Brain Tumbler whirring down. Raz stumbled away from the machine, gasping, shaking frost from his hair, and shoving his goggles to the top of his head.

"Razputin, after the eruption of psychic energy I lost all readings." The German Psychonaut strolled up to the boy, "Are you alright?"

"Raz isn't here."

Sasha let out a string of German curse words and lashed out with a PSI-Blast when Rix came to life. Rixintine dodged the shot and then drew his arm into an upper-cut. His psychic claws tore through Sasha's suit, sending a mist of red into the air.

"Don't touch me!" Rixintine snarled as Sasha fell to the floor with a cry of agony, his glasses skittering across the floor, "This is _my_ chance and Raz can't do anything about it!"

Sasha coughed, hacking blood up onto the spotless white tile and rolled over, trying to crawl towards the Transport System. Rix howled with sadistic laughter and fired a highly concentrated burst of psychic energy into the man's leg. There was a crack and Sasha screamed again, crimson smearing across the floor.

"Don't even try it!" Rix hissed and stomped his boot down on the glasses before him, shattering tinted glass, "Bye-bye, Agent Nein! See you in Hell!"

Rixintine kicked the wounded man in the side and leapt up the stairs, leaving red footprints in his wake. Then he vanished through the open hatch of the GPC and disappearing into the night.

Sasha's breath was coming up short, he couldn't get enough oxygen and everything was going fuzzy and black. Pain throbbed through every inch of him. He knew his left leg was broken, Rix had probably cracked a few ribs, and one of his lungs was most likely torn to shreds.

He was going to…

_Not like this… _

This was it…

_Not if I can help it…_

Well, this certainly wasn't how he expected it…

_M…Milla…I…_

* * *

Milla stumbled into Lili, a hand to her forehead. Both of them paused on the path from the Parking Lot to the Reception Area as Milla got her breath back.

"Agent Vodello? Are you okay?"

"Darling, I…I think we should go check on Sasha."

"What happened? A premonition?"

"Actually…" Milla's expression was distraught, "It was more like a cry for help."

_Raz…_ Lili thought and then grabbed Milla's hand and ran for the GPC. The path seemed to stretch out before them for miles and miles and Lili's legs wouldn't go any faster and her breath wouldn't come quick enough.

It was the iron smell of blood permeating from the depths of Sasha's lab as they ran down the steps that made her freeze up.

Lili had never liked blood. The sight of it made her stomach churn, the smell made her nauseated, and as she stiffly followed Milla down the rest of the steps, she was nearly sick there and then.

"SASHA!" The Brazilian Agent flew across the room and knelt next to her fallen comrade in a pool of red, tears streaming down her face, "LILI! GET HELP!"

The young Zanotto nodded once, trying to swallow down the bile rising in her throat, flicked her gaze up the stairs, and then raced up them, following the bloody boot prints. As soon as she'd cleared the GPC, she sent out a mental cry for Ford and Oleander, barely able to bring that horrible image to mind to show them what was needed, before breaking off and following the haphazard trail Raz—no, it had to be this _Rixintine_—had left.

It led to the beach of Lake Oblongata.

"Hello, Lili." His grin was maniacal, his eyes glinting with insanity in the moon and lantern light, "We're finally alone together, just like I always imagined."

"You're not Raz!" Lili shouted, "You're that monster, Rixintine he's always crying about! How could you do that to Sasha!?"

"Because none of you want me to exist and he got in my way! Besides, none of you care about how Raz feels!"

"Don't you _dare_ drag Raz into this!"

"Oh, like you care!" Rixintine laughed out loud, his voice echoing over the still waters of the lake, "You're the one who caused this mess in the fist place!" He leered at her, holding out his hands, palms up," And I think, no matter what he says, Razputin'll thank me for what I'm about to do!" Flames leapt to life in his left hand and a crystalline sword of ice formed over his right hand, it's blade reflecting the firelight, "Ever been in a _real_ psychic battle, Lili?"

Fear pumped adrenaline through Lili, bringing everything into sharp, clear focus.

Rixintine was going to kill her.

She had to defend herself.

Acting on instinct and her training as a Psychonaut, Lili lashed out with her psychic hand.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGG!!" Rixintine howled a blood-curdling scream, his fire vanishing and his ice sword exploding into dust that quickly melted in the thick, summer air. He fell to his knees in the sand, pressing his hands over his face. Blood welled from beneath his fingers, running down his arms and chin, "IT HURTS!!" He continued to scream at the top of his lungs, taking his right hand away, his right eye, surrounded in crimson, widening as he saw _his own blood_ smeared there. His left had was still pressed over the left side of his face but it was clear what Lili had done.

Lili's psychic claws had raked down Rix's face from his forehead, diagonally down across his left eye, across his left cheek, and down the left side of his neck, tearing the collar of his shirt. They weren't deep but they were enough to draw streams of blood like rivers. Lili's hands automatically flew to her face, covering her eyes from the horrible scene.

But she couldn't block out the screams.

Rixintine's cries were agony filled and angry. Lili peered between her fingers and watched as the boy curled up on the sand, still screaming and crying, blood staining the pale sand, water lapping at his heels.

Lili's legs gave out beneath her and she stumbled to her knees. Her mind shut down. The only thing she could think was, _I killed him…I killed him…I killed him._ The world started spinning. Everything blurred together. The stench of blood made her head reel.

Black.

* * *

I left you with another nasty cliffhanger. How cruel am I?

Okay, I've _gotta_ be getting some nasty reviews for this one. Did Rix kill Sasha? Did Lili kill Rix/Raz? Will help reach everyone in time? Am I ever going to stop these awful clichés!?

You'll have to wait until the next chapter.

So, if you want to find out what happens, please, review.

As always, thank you for reading and Happy Halloween!


	21. The Beating Hearts of Many

There is no apology in the world that can make up for me not updating. Not a single one. But I'm really, really, very sorry. I got obsessed with Chaotic and I kind of forgot about SASTSS. And after all the crap I gave you guys about not leaving me any reviews I go and not update in—what, forever? Either way I've been kind of a jerk so I'll try and make this chapter count.  
Thanks guys. You sticking around to read this means a lot. Hugs and luck!

* * *

**Twenty-One: …The Beating Hearts of Many

* * *

  
**

"Hope fades into the world of night, through shadows falling out of memory and time. Don't say we have come now to end. White shores are calling. You and I will meet again." – 'Into the West' from 'Lord of the Rings: Return of the King'

* * *

_**He was tired…so tired…and he felt so heavy…**_

_The little, red-haired boy curled in the corner of an empty tent, hugging his knees to his chest. His eyes were sparkling with tears and there were smears of dirt over his exposed arms._

"_It's not fair…"_

_**He felt like every inch of his body was loaded down with concrete…**_

"_Why do I have to practice so hard?" He sniffled, wiping his nose with back of his hand, "It's not my fault I'm psychic…"_

_**And he was so tired…**_

"_Rixintine…" The little boy tilted his head so he was looking over at the empty space beside him, "Dad doesn't…hate me, does he?"_

_**He just wanted to sleep…he just wanted to sleep…**_

"_Yeah…I know…but…" He swallowed thickly, "I don't get why he makes me practice harder than Ozzy…"_

_**Something beeped…very far away…so far away…he was so…tired…**_

_He hiccupped and rubbed his eyes furiously, "You know what, Rix, even if Dad doesn't like me 'cause I'm psychic, I'm gonna grow up and be a Psychonaut."_

_**Another beep…how irritating…he was trying to sleep…**_

"_Rixintine…you'll help me, won't you?"_

_**Beep……beep……beep……**_

"_I knew you would!"_

_**A wave of numbness swept over him…he wished it would all stop and go away…leave him alone…he wanted to…he wanted to…he just wanted to…**_

"_You're my best friend, Rixintine!"_

* * *

The first thing was that insistent beeping.

Then it was the dull, throbbing pain.

Then it was the sterile scent of disinfectant.

And then…

Raz knew he was awake but he didn't want to open his eyes. He also knew that the space in his mind where Rix's frozen ice castle once lingered wasn't there anymore. There was just a big, empty spot.

Then again, his entire mentality felt like that. He couldn't touch his psychic powers.

He breathed in and out slowly for a while, swallowed, and coughed. His throat felt like sandpaper.

He opened his eyes.

But he couldn't.

Panic washed over him. He brought his hands up and felt the thick gauze and bandages wound around his forehead, eyes, taped down over the left side of his cheek and his neck. His heart raced.

_What happened to me!?_

The beeping noise grew faster.

* * *

Milla was in a near state of shock.

Sasha had nearly been gutted, Razputin had nearly lost an eye, and Lili had beaten herself up about the whole thing, refusing to go with Milla to the tiny hospital in the nearby town and preferring to remain at camp with Ford and Oleander.

"Someone has to watch the kids…" She'd whispered hoarsely.

It'd been three days since Sasha and Raz had been carted into the hospital. And Milla had never left; she'd stayed at the facility the whole time. All. Three. Days.

At the moment, she was sitting in the waiting room again. Neither Sasha or Raz was allowed visitors until their conditions had stabilized. Milla had managed to keep the hospital staff from contacting Psychonaut Headquarters with the info that two of their agents were in critical condition.

It would have meant the end of the line for Raz and Milla just didn't have the heart to crush his dream like that.

"Miss. Vodello," A nurse had approached her and the Brazilian woman glanced up from the magazine she'd been staring at, "Sasha Nein's condition has stabilized and—."

"I want to see him, please." Milla was on her feet in an instant, "Please, he's my…partner."

The nurse paused for a moment or two, blinking, unsure of what he was supposed to do, and then nodded and led her through a set of double doors and down a white hall to a private recovery room.

Milla couldn't stop the tears.

Seeing Sasha; resolute, no nonsense, hard-core Sasha; unconscious on a hospital bed was too much. His left leg was wrapped in a heavy cast and propped off the bed and even the sheets pulled up to his chest couldn't hide the already crimson stained bandages. But it was the slow beeping of the heart monitor and the ragged sounding breath coming from the mask on the man's face that really got to her.

"Miss. Vodello…" The nurse said hesitantly, "Um…if it's any consolation…Razputin is awake…would you…like to see him?"

Milla rubbed the tears from her face and, not trusting herself to speak, nodded once. The nurse patted her shoulder in a kindly manner and led her a little farther down the hall. But before she could enter the room, the nurse stopped her.

"Listen, I don't know much about what you psychics do but the kid's been traumatized and badly." There was a dark seriousness in his voice, "He's got no damage to his eyesight but he's going to have scaring for the rest of his life and after all the clean up we had to do, he's going to have to keep those bandages on for a while. After we take them off, make sure he doesn't pick at the stitches or anything like that." He gave her a small smile, "But he'll be okay, I promise."

He pushed the door open.

"Oh, Razputin, darling!" Milla couldn't help herself. She threw herself across the room and wrapped the boy up in a huge hug.

"M-Milla!?" Raz gasped, "Milla…I c-can't…breath!"

"Sorry!" Milla dropped away quickly and gave the boy a once over. He was pale and shaky, an IV swinging from his arm. And he looked scared. So scared. Just like the little fifteen year old boy he was.

"Milla…what happened…" Raz's voice was hoarse, his redish hair ruffled and sticking out every which way, "I remember trying to fight Rixintine and then there was…nothing…just cold…and ice…" He shivered.

"Darling, I don't think you should—."

"Tell me!" Raz demanded, voice wavering, "What'd he do!? I know he did something!" He froze suddenly, "Lili…he didn't…not Lili…"

"No, sweetie, Lili's fine! It was Sasha; he—!"

"Sasha!?" Raz moaned and swore loudly, "That…that…I'll _kill_ him! I'll kill him if it's the last thing I ever do! I swear it!"

"Darling, please!" Milla grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to sit back down on the bed from which he'd been struggling to get up from, "You're in no condition to do anything and neither is Sasha! You can't even _see_ right now!"

"S-Sasha…" Raz moaned, sounding like he was going to cry, "I got a-all of you involved and I…I…Sasha could…h-he…"

"Enough, Razputin!" Milla snapped, voice shaking as tears fought their way forward, "Pull yourself together, darling! You're Psychonaut! We can't fall apart like this! Not when we…when we h-have people counting on u-us to…t-to…!" Milla couldn't hold it in anymore. She let her hands slide off Raz's shoulders and buried her face in her arms, sobbing.

Raz felt terrible. He'd lost to Rix, put himself and Sasha in the hospital, and managed to make Milla cry.

"I'm such a jerk…" He muttered, putting a tentative hand on what he thought was Milla's shoulder but turned out to be the middle of her back, "I'm…sorry Milla, I didn't mean to make you cry."

* * *

It'd been three weeks since Raz had woken up and two since Sasha had come into consciousness. Both remained relatively immobile though the bandages had been removed from Raz's face. The first time he'd seen his reflection in the mirror he'd let out a loud yelp of surprise and tripped backwards into a chair. The four cuts running down the left side of his face had been sewn together and there was still a gauze patch over his left eye.

"I look like something from a Frankenstein movie!" He'd laughed after picking himself up from the chair.

Sasha was grumpy. He was not aloud anything but water and oatmeal and, if he was lucky, applesauce. And he wasn't allowed any cigarettes or coffee. All he was really allowed to do was watch the television and even then if he got to "into it" they'd shut it off and make him sit there on his bed with nothing to do for the rest of the day. Agent Nein was _not_ a happy camper.

Milla couldn't stay at the hospital very long; she dropped by once every night to check on both boys but she did have to return to camp in order to help the Coach and Ford with the squirming little PSI-Cadets who were frantically wondering where two of their favorites teachers had gone. The story was they had had to report to HQ for some "top secret information."

Lili checked in on Raz only once and he hadn't even been awake for it. He'd been sleeping off his antibiotics (which made him drowsy anyway) and was too deep in darkness to notice anything. Lili pushed the door open, gave a small, sad smile, crept across the room, and set a tiny, white plastic bowl full of fool's gold on the bedside stand. Raz liked pyrite; he said it reminded him of himself.

When he'd woken up and seen the sparkling gold colored rocks sitting next to him he thought his heart was going to break again. Lili was the only one besides his family who knew how much he hated getting flowers when he was sick. Flowers in a hospital, especially, made him think of the word "deathbed."

A few days after that, Raz, guilt ridden and bored, left his hospital room (with permission, of course) and dragged his IV stand all the way down the hall to Sasha's room. But when he pushed the door open, it looked like the man was asleep so he started to back out.

"Raz…putin…" Sasha's weak voice made the boy's stomach churn with shame but he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, chewing on his lip as he sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"Hey…Sasha…how're doing?"

"I've…been better." The German didn't open his eyes, "You sound…terrible…"

"Me?" Raz blinked his one visible eye, "What about you? Milla told me what happened and I…" The boy shrank in his seat, "I'm really…really sorry…"

"_Macht nichts_, Razputin…" The man replied.

"Huh?"

The corner's of Sasha's lips twitched, "It doesn't matter…"

"D-doesn't matter!?" Raz's guilt and trauma welled up inside of him, "Rixintine nearly _killed_ you! Of course it matters! If I hadn't been so _stupid_ maybe none of this would have happened!"

"Control!" Sasha snapped and then let out a hacking cough that took him a while to get over, "Didn't I…tell you to…stop blaming yourself…?"

"Yeah…" Raz mumbled sheepishly, drawing his legs under his chair.

"What are you…going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are you going…to do about…Rixintine?"

Raz sagged against the back of his chair, his right eye blurring with tears that he refused to cry, "I can't…reach my psychic powers…"

Sasha didn't say anything and Razputin wondered for a moment if he'd pushed the man too far and Agent Nein had fallen unconscious. A sliver of dull storm cloud blue-gray shimmered in Raz's direction and the boy suddenly felt very small.

"_Alles wird in ordrung_." Sasha said slowly, "Everything…will be alright." The man sighed and closed his eyes again, "I'm going back to sleep…Razputin…talk to Ford…if you…can…"

Even after Sasha fell asleep, Raz didn't have the heart to get up and move. He felt drained, empty, and guilt-ridden. He hated how everyone was treating this whole situation as through it weren't his fault. It _was_ his fault; he should have known better than to think that he would have been able to get rid of Rix so easily. Now he'd lost everything. He might as well turn in his badge now.

Raz wondered why his vision was blurry and raised a hand to rub his eyes. He found tears running down his cheeks. He was just falling apart at the seams. Maybe he should just…go home. Go back to the circus and try to live like any normal human.

Forget psychic powers.

Forget being a Psychonaut.

Forget Sasha, Milla, and the others.

Forget the autographs.

Forget the missions.

Forget…Lili.

Raz drew his knees up to his chin on the chair, wrapping his arms around them as the healing scars stung and his bandaged eye burned. He didn't hold it back anymore. He simply cried. So many people were getting hurt because of him.

It would be better without him around.

"_Why can't you just accept it? No one likes you anymore; you're the Poster Boy who's faded off the front cover, you're annoying, intrusive, and it's always…about…you! You lied to your Dad, you lied to Ozzy, you lied to Sasha and Milla, you lied to Ford, you lied to Oleander, you lied to me…and you lied to Lili. No one wants you around anymore, Razputin. You're just a conceited liar!"_

For him to disappear…that's what Rixintine had wanted. Raz wiped the tears from his face and eyes, frowning.

"I'm not giving up," He growled angrily and stood, "I'm not giving up. I'll get my powers back and then," His eyes narrowed, "And then I'll come to destroy you, Rixintine."

He stomped theatrically towards the door. Unfortunately, he'd forgotten about his IV and it yanked his arm as it crashed to the floor a few feet behind him. The crash brought a couple of nurses who proceeded to scold him and drag him out of the room and back to his own, him shouting at them all the while.

Sasha smiled to himself and cracked an eye open to look at the closed door. He knew Razputin would never have given up so easily.

* * *

Like I said, no apology in the world to make up for what I've done. Or not done. In any case, I finally got to play Psychonauts again last night and I was all: "I heart this game!!!!" So, yeah. And then I got to the Meat Circus and remembered which level I hated the most XP. It's so disgusting.

So thank you people so much for not bothering me about chapters and for sticking around to read this. I know I haven't updated in, like, a year but stuff happened and…yeah. That's not a real excuse for what I did. So let me say it again in case you didn't get it :

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING! I HUG YOU ALL!**

There. I hope you got that.

Please continue to stick around and read. Don't forget to review! Thank you! Byes!


	22. Up In Smoke, Down in Flames

Um…hi?

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**Twenty-Two: Up In Smoke, Down in Flames

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**

"I dreamed I was missing and you were so scared. But no one else listened, 'cause no one else cared…I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through…When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done…Don't resent me and when you're feeling empty keep me in your memory. Leave out all the rest."– 'Leave Out All the Rest' by Linkin Park

* * *

"Milla, I need to talk to Ford." Raz was fiddling with the bowl of pyrite in his lap, his expression determined. He was sitting on his hospital bed, the blankets drawn up to his waist, and Milla was in the chair beside the bed with a fashion magazine in her hands. She didn't actually seem to be paying attention to it as she flipped through the pages.

"Darling…" Milla began and then saw the resolution in the fifteen year old's gaze, "Alright. Tomorrow I'll send him up here, how's that?"

"Yeah…" Raz nodded absently, "I talked to Sasha."

"Did you, sweetie? And what did he say?"

"He got mad at me and told me to stop blaming myself. That…it wasn't my fault he got hurt." Raz set the bowl of pyrite aside and looked out the window. The tops of the pine trees swayed outside the glass, "I thought about giving up for a while."

"That's so unlike you, darling!" Milla said, alarmed.

"But I'm _not_ giving up!" Raz said quickly, sending her his familiar grin, "'Cause if I gave up then who would be there to save the world, huh?"

Milla smiled and Raz felt his spirits lift. As soon as he got his psychic powers back and got rid of Rixintine, everything would be back to normal again. A happy ending and all that.

"I'm going now, Raz," Milla stood up from her chair, tucking the magazine under her arm, "Is there anything you wanted Ford to bring you?"

"Nah," Raz waved his hand, "I'm fine!" Milla smiled at him again and vanished through the door. Raz turned his one visible green eye to the vase of wild flowers and numerous cards that had taken up his bed side stand. The flowers were from Milla and the cards were from his family and friends at the circus. They were on the road again and couldn't stop by to see him but Raz was happy to get cards from them.

With a contented sigh, he settled back against the pillows and flicked on the television in the room, flipping through the channels with little regard to what was actually playing. He didn't care. His thoughts were elsewhere at the moment.

_I'm coming for you Rixintine…are you ready?_

* * *

_It was so dark. There wasn't light anywhere. _

_But there was hate. Oh yes, there was plenty of hatred. And pain. _

_He screamed but there was no sound._

_He cried but there were no tears._

_He tried to run but there was no where to go._

_Black._

_And it hurt. It hurt so much and it made him hate. Pain led to hatred, hatred led to anger, anger led to war, war led to madness, and madness led to…where? This black expanse of darkness?_

_I'll lock you in this agonizing darkness, Razputin, and make you suffer like you deserve! LIKE THEY ALL DESERVE!_

* * *

Raz felt exhausted when he woke up the next morning. His sleep had been plagued by nightmares and horrible visions despite the drugs they'd given him. He didn't know if it was Rix deep in his subconscious or just his own trauma. Which ever it was, when Ford walked into the hospital room and closed the door behind him, he found that the Youngest Psychonaut Ever had barely touched his food. In fact, he was really just pushing it around on his tray.

"You'll never heal if you don't eat." The old man said, taking the chair by the bed, the Psitanium on his back glittering in the fluorescent lights, "Milla tells me you need to talk?"

"Uh…yeah…" Raz set his food aside and turned to Ford, "I can't…" He swallowed and scowled at himself, "I can't get to my psychic powers. It's like my whole psyche just…disappeared. Sasha told me to talk to you."

"You've been traumatized, Razputin," Ford said simply, eyeing the bowl of pyrite questioningly for a moment or two, "That's enough to block out anyone's psyche. What you need to do is come to terms with it."

"Come to terms with it?"

"You've blocked everything out without knowing it. It was bad, it hurt, it was horrible, and you'd rather not remember what happened." Raz hung his head because it was all true, "But you _have_ to acknowledge that it happened. If you do that, you'll be able to renter your psyche."

"Okay…" Razputin chewed on his lip, concentrating on what had happened almost four weeks ago, "Okay…I went to Sasha because I figured I knew how to get rid of Rixintine." Ford nodded, urging him to continue, "But when I destroyed his connection to my Id personality he went all psycho and froze me in a block of ice." The boy took a shaky breath and choked on his next words, "Rix took over and…and he…I can't _do_ this anymore!" Raz buried his face in his hands, grunting as he put too much pressure on his stitches and bandaged eye, "He nearly killed Sasha! He was going to kill Lili! I hate him, Ford, I hate him! I want him to die! I HATE him!"

"Razputin, Razputin," Ford patted the boys back, shaking his head, "Remember what I used to say when you first came to camp and I taught you how to use all those psychic abilities of yours? What was it that I used to say to you when you tried to pick me up with your telekinesis?"

There was silence for a moment or two and then a muffled sentence came from between the boy's fingers.

"Eh?" Ford leaned forward expectantly, "Didn't quite catch that."

"You said: "Very nice. Now set be down easy and go pick up something that won't blow your head up if you make it mad." But what's that have to do with anything?" Raz ran his shaking fingers through his already tousled hair and leaned back against his pillows, "I just can't seem to get anything right, lately…"

"You," Ford said, scolding the boy, "Are teetering on the verge of emo! You're teen angst is starting to irritate me, Razputin!"

Raz blinked at him and then laughed. He outright laughed. He couldn't help himself. He was being stupid, he was being depressing, and, yes, things were falling apart all over the place but that wasn't a reason for him to be an idiot and all withdrawn about it.

"Alright, I'm sorry." He said and dropped his smile, "No more stupid emo teen angst, huh?" Ford nodded once, "Alright." Raz took a deep breath and close his eyes, "After Rix took over he…he slashed Sasha open and broke his leg and then ran off. Lili chased after him and they ended up at the beach front. He went to attack her and she lashed out and did…this." He waved a hand vaguely over the front of his face.

"Feel better?" The old Psychonaut beside him asked.

"No, I feel like crap." Raz grumbled, "I just want to get rid of Rixintine and get this whole thing over with. And then…I'll go back to the circus and make my triumphant comeback!"

"Now _that's_ the Razputin I know!" Ford clapped him on the back with a grin, "You just work on getting healed and retrieving those psychic powers of yours, Razputin! When you get out of here, we'll settle Rix once and for all!"

"Corny." Raz said with a small smile, "Corny, cheesy, and all those other things that make you Ford Cruller!"

They both laughed.

* * *

Raz opened his eyes that night to a dark hospital room. All was quiet. He was about to roll over and fall back asleep when something pricked the edge of his conscious. Excited that he was picking up on psychic energies again, he grabbed at the tiny thread of thought and held on, listening.

_r __**A **__z __**P**__ u __**T **__i __**N**__ …_

It was someone calling his name but their voice was broken and distorted; a young boy's voice overlaid with a deep, raspy growl. Raz shivered and tried to close his mind to the thought but it wormed deep into his head and called again,

_r __**A **__z __**P**__ u __**T**__ i __**N**__ …_

Raz grumbled under his breath but slid out from beneath the covers, stuck his feet in the slippers beside his bed, and shuffled out of the room, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he went.

Everything was dark. There were no lights on anywhere. Raz found this odd and unsettling. This was a hospital, people should be running around all over the place, just like in the movies. Disturbed now by the quiet and lull in activity, Raz crept silently down the hall, trying to find out where the call in his mind was coming from.

_r __**A**__ z __**P**__ u __**T**__ i __** N**__ … c __**O**__ m __**E**__ … a __**N**__ d … __**F**__ i __**N**__ d … __**M**__ e … __**R**__ a __**Z**__ p __**U**__ t __**I**__ n …_

He stopped in front of a door and felt his breath hitch momentarily. It was Sasha's room. Surely that was not Sasha calling him. He put his hand on the door knob.

_t __**H **__ a __**T**__ 's … __**R**__ i __**G **__h __**T**__ … r __**A **__z __**P**__ u __**T**__ i __** N**__ … c __**O **__ m __**E**__ … t __**O**__ … m __**E**__ …_

He twisted the handle and pushed the door open. The room was dark and freezing cold. His breath frosted before him and he stepped inside and looked around, trying to see in the blackness. The door slammed shut behind him and he jumped.

"_h __**E**__ l __**L**__ o … __**R**__ a __**Z **__ p __**U**__ t __**I**__ n …"_ The voice was in his mind and outside it, beckoning him forward in the gloom. Raz didn't move, to scared of the darkness, and shivered as the cold set into his very bones.

"_n __**E**__ e __**D**__ … a … __**L**__ i __**G **__h __**T**__ …?" _ There was a click and a lamp came on, illuminating a small section of the room. Raz's eyes widened in terror.

Sitting crossed legged in the air above Sasha Nein's bed was Rixintine. But he was as distorted as his voice; his eyes were completely green with no visible whites or pupils, large, yellow fangs curled past his lips, black horns sprung from his head, peeping through his redish hair, and the scars on his face had not healed as Raz's had. They were twisted and caused the skin to scrunch up, giving the alter ego a permanently sneering look on the left side of his face. The arms were ripped from his outfit, revealing burns and scars down his arms, and he wore no shoes. Hatred emanated from every inch of him.

"_h __**E**__ l __**L**__ o … __**R**__ a __**Z **__ p __**U**__ t __**I**__ n …"_ Rix's tongue slid out of his mouth between his fangs and he licked his lips slowly, as though anticipating an excellent meal, _"w __**H**__ e __**R**__ e … __**H**__ a __**V **__e … __**Y**__ o __**U**__ … b __**E**__ e __**N**__ …?"_

"Recovering," Raz's voice was shaky, "From what you did to me!"

"_n __**O**__ o __**O **__o …"_ Rixintine growled, a low rumbling noise in his throat, and leaned forward over the sleeping German Psychonaut in the bed below him, _"w __**H **__ a __**T**__ … s __** H**__ e … __**D**__ i __** D**__ … t __** O**__ … u __**S**__ …"_

"What happened to you?" The young Psychonaut rubbed his hands up and down his arms, trying to quell the goose-bumps rising there.

"_a __**L**__ o __**N**__ e … __**I**__ n … __**T**__ h __**E**__ … d __**A **__r __**K**__ n __**E**__ s __**S**__ … i … __**F **__ o __**U **__n __**D**__ … p __**O**__ w __**E**__ r … __**Y**__ o __**U**__ … c __**O**__ u __**L**__ d … __**N**__ e __**V**__ e __**R **__… u __**S**__ e…"_ There was a ripping sort of noise and scaly violet arms suddenly sprouted from Rix's back, waving through the air like tentacles. He roared, an unearthly sound, and landed on Sasha's bed. It creaked under his weight as his skin turned a sickly shiny yellow color, _"t __**H **__ e … __**P**__ o __**W**__ e __**R **__… o __**F**__ … a … __**N**__ i __**G**__ h __**T**__ m __**A**__ r __**E**__ …!"_

"Don't touch Sasha!" Raz shouted, racing forward, cold and fear forgotten as Rixintine opened his mouth and leaned closer to the prone form of Agent Sasha Nein, "Rixintine NO!"

The many arms sprouting from Rix's back arched down and pinned Sasha to the bed. Rixintine himself raised one arm, black claws extending from his fingertips, and aimed to plunge it into Sasha's heart.

Raz screamed in horror, tears flying from his eyes, "RIXINTINE! DON'T! THAT'S NOT THE WAY! THAT'S NOT THE WAY! PLEASE!"

"_c __**O **__ m __**E **__… a __**N **__d … __**S**__ t __**O **__p … __**M**__ e … __**R**__ a __**Z **__ p __**U**__ t __**I**__ n …!" _ Rixintine howled with sadistic glee, _"__**C **__o __**M**__ e … __**A**__ n __**D**__ …s __**A**__ v __**E**__ … y __**O**__ u __**R**__ … p __**R**__ e __**C**__ i __**O**__ u __**S**__ … __**F**__ r __**I **__e __**N **__d …!"_

"RIXINTINE! STOOOOOOOOOPPPP!" Raz screamed and fell out of bed.

He lay there on the floor, panting, feeling the cold tile against his cheek. Even as he heard the nurses running around in the hallway and the door slamming open, he realized he'd been dreaming.

"_I'm baaaaaaccckkk…"_

* * *

Ah ha, two chapters to make up for not updating. Creepy dream, I must say. Though, technically, I suppose that's really a nightmare.

So, now that Rix is back and, apparently, has some nasty new powers, what the heck is Razputin supposed to do? Talk about messed up in the head. I guess even hero's have to sort out their inner demons sometimes. It sure seems like that's what Rix has turned into, huh?

Thank you guys for sticking around, please leave me a review, and have a great day! Byes!


	23. Rosa Rubicundior, Lilio Candidior

School's just around the corner again. I don't wanna go back. Christmas Break is so…relaxing…

Anyway, welcome to chapter 23. I think we're getting close to the end here. Uh-oh. That just royally sucks. Sorry.

Disclaimer: Title is Latin for "redder than the rose, whiter than the lily" and I found it in one of my Bleach volumes. Volume number 17 to be exact. Renji vs. Byakuya.

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**Twenty-Three: Rosa Rubicundior, Lilio Candidior

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**

"I know he calls for more forgiveness than most folks do require, but he's an angel with no halo and one wing in the fire." – 'One Wing in the Fire' by Trent Tomlinson

* * *

The morning following Rix's return, Raz was allowed to remove the bandage over his eye and was released from the hospital. Milla picked him up outside the hospital and, though Raz was reluctant to leave Sasha alone, he stuffed all his cards and his bowl of pyrite in the trunk and plopped into the passenger seat.

Cool air wafted out of the air conditioning and there was a sweet scent of strawberries from the air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror. Raz looked out the window in a pointed sort of way that told Milla he didn't want to talk. The button on the radio pushed itself in.

"…_to 96.4! The House of Music! Our next song is by 'Elixir of Moonlight' from their new CD 'Vampire Candy Hearts!' This is 'Heartache Duress!'"_

Raz put his head against the window and saw himself in the rear view mirror sticking outside the car. The scars on his face were going to be there for the rest of his life. Constant reminders of what had happened that summer.

"_If there was something I never said, then let those words come now because soon the time will come when worlds never meant to meet will clash with sword on sword. The rain is pounding like a heartbeat, the lightning lights the blackened sky, the thunder vibrates in my soul, I watch the clouds roll, dark and huge, and wish that time would freeze."_

Rixintine was being oddly quiet. But he was there, no mistake about that. Raz could feel his brooding, angry presence simmering in the ice castle at the back of his mind. His green eyes flicked away from the reflection in the mirror and instead gazed at the world passing by outside the window.

"_I stand beneath the overhang that's above my lowly door and watch the water pouring down. The school bag hanging from my shoulder holds naught but books, and pens, and crap. My eyes don't follow the passing people, I just can't focus on one single thing. Someone help me find the words I need so desperately to say."_

Ah, he was brooding again. He looked at Milla who was tapping her gloved fingers on the steering wheel and then glanced back out the window. Then he shuffled around and looked at Agent Vodello again.

"Hey Milla, how do you…deal with your nightmares?"

"_The rain is pounding like a heartbeat, the lightning lights the blackened sky, the thunder vibrates in my soul, I watch the clouds roll, dark and huge, and wish that time would freeze."_

"Nightmares, darling?" Milla gave him a fleeting look, "I don't—oh yes, you saw my little room, didn't you? I would you rather have never found that…"

"But how can you keep them contained like that? Aren't you supposed to, I dunno, destroy them or something?"

"_The world blurs, rainbows crack, my eyes begin to burn. I let the tears fall down my cheeks, not caring who can see. There's too much anger and regret about what blade and gun are about to do."_

"Yes, darling, but these nightmares always keep coming back so I locked them in there. Well, Sasha helped, the sweetie."

"Oh…I think…Rixintine isn't the only thing I'm going to have to get rid of after all." Raz dropped his chin in his hand, arm propped up on the door of the car, "I'm going to be _so_ busy after this." He thought for a moment, "We have an excuse to tell the PSI-Cadets about my scars—they think I was away on a mission—but if HQ asks what do I say?"

"_Drawing in a shaky breath, I step out into the sheets of rain and, watching sidewalk cracks and dirt, make my way towards dull old school hoping to forget and think of things to say."_

"Well…" Milla thought for a moment as they turned onto a paved road that had seen better days, "You were attacked by a psychic bear at camp would probably be the easiest and if they pry get mad and stomp away in that flustered sort of way that makes you so adorable!" Raz flushed crimson at the words.

"_The rain is pounding like a heartbeat, the lightning lights the blackened sky, the thunder vibrates in my soul, I watch the clouds roll, dark and huge, and wish that time would freeze."_

"Thanks Milla…" He muttered and went back to looking out the window, "You know, when I first discovered I was psychic, I was so scared. I didn't know what was happening. Back then, Ozzy was still a baby and my dad had to handle both of us. When I told him what was happening I thought he was angry at me for being psychic. Now that I look back on it, I realize he was just as scared as I was."

"_As I mingle with the students in the humid halls, I reflect on what my father said once. And with burning resolution I wipe the tears away, to turn and head back out the doors, to run back through the pouring rain."_

"When I was helping the Coach, he said that our family had a lot of enemies and he was trying to protect me. He said later that he hadn't been able to protect my mom and that was why he'd kept such a close eye on me and Ozzy." Tears welled into Raz's eyes and he blinked them away, "I felt like such a jerk after that."

"_Skidding to a halt, I bang upon your door, panting for my breath, water sliding down my neck, I repeat those words my old man said…"_

"I'd run away from home and caused him all sorts of misery. He stopped the whole circus just to try and find me. I did a horrible thing to him and I regret it now but I just wish he'd gone about things differently." The young Psychonaut smiled to himself, "He's says he wishes he'd done it different too." Raz sighed and leaned back in his seat, "Man, it feels good to open up!"

"_The rain may pound you like a hammer, the lightning may blind you from your way, the thunder may shake your soul, and the dark clouds my obscure your path but time will only stop for the ones you love."_

* * *

Raz was bombarded by young campers the second he stepped out of Milla's car. They were _everywhere_! They begged him to tell them about his mission, they "oooohhed" and "aaahhhed" at his scars (the fan girls started swearing revenge on whoever had done it), and they clung to him like leeches. Raz had half a mind to send them all flying with a blast of his psychic shield but through better of it and smiled at them.

"Hey guys, calm down, I'm alright." He waved his gloved hands at them and silence fell, "Sasha's still taking care of things back at HQ and he probably won't be back for a while but I'm okay so I decided to come back and help you guys train, huh?"

"Agent Razputin, sir," Said one boy, "Who gave you those cool lookin' scars?"

"A bad guy." Raz said darkly and then grinned, "I'd love to stay and chat but I have to move some things into my room! I'll see you guys _later_!"

"Come along, children; it's lunch time! To the Main Lodge!" Milla herded the kids away, winking at Raz as she went. Raz waved to her to show his thanks and then turned and gathered his things from the trunk. He carried some in his arms but the rest floated behind him in the air. The door to the Counselor's Lodge opened itself and shut itself behind him and so did the door to his room. He packed the cards carefully away and, after a moment of hesitation, he set the bowl of pyrite on top of his dresser where he could easily see it.

There was a creak and Raz turned around to see the door shutting. A tiny wave of thought trickled into his mind and his brow furrowed as he stared at the empty space in front of the door.

"Lili." He muttered and she dropped her invisibility. Her expression was as blank as glass but there were fervent thoughts dancing at the edges of her mind block, just out of his telepathic range. But he could sense them. And he could sense how much she was hurt by what she'd done. He opened his mouth but she cut him off.

"No," Lili said sharply, "I don't want to hear you apologize, I don't want to hear you say it's your fault, and I don't want you to try and convince me not to feel bad." She looked at him with sincere brown eyes, "I'm _sorry_, Raz, I was wrong."

This stunned the boy. Lili Zanotto? Wrong? That was almost against the laws of the universe! And yet…her apology twisted Raz's heart until he thought it would break. He should be the one saying he was sorry, not her.

"You're special, Raz, I like that about you." She brushed a strand of hair from her face, "If there was such a thing as love at first sight then I guess I'd fallen head-over-heels for you the second I saw you on that stage. But…a part of me thought I was caught up in the moment." She looked at the floor and scowled at it angrily like it was all its fault for the current situation, "I thought about it too hard. I thought I'd rushed into things and wasn't really ready for a relationship. I know that sounds like a stupid thing to say after five years together but I hardly ever got to see you. I hurt you and I'm sorry." She looked at him, "After you finish _him_, I'd…I'd like to…be your…girlfriend again."

Raz stared at her, too startled for words. It was as though the sun was breaking through the clouds after a storm. He blinked, focusing once more, "Yeah…" He said slowly and then more confidently, "Yeah, definitely. I mean, no hard feelings, right? About Rix? It'll be okay. Everything will be okay! I'll go back to the circus and—oh, you know what, I promised Ozzy I'd bring him something back. Ah, but I don't know what it would be so…oh, hey, do you think he'd like an arrowhead? I don't think he's got one and—."

"_When are you just gonna shut up and kiss me?"_ Raz froze mid-sentence with his mouth hanging open. He turned his green eyes on Lili and found her standing inches away with a smug expression and one hand on her hip. He swallowed thickly and licked his lips, grinning.

They kissed.

Agonizing, white-hot pain so intense that it blinded him flared into Raz's mind and he stumbled backwards, falling to the floor with a scream of agony. He dug his fingers into his scalp, screaming as the pain grew, and curled into a tight ball on the floor. He was aware of voices shouting but they sounded very far away.

"_DID YOU THINK I WOULD LEAVE YOU ALONE, RAZPUTIN!?"_ Rixintine snarled in Raz's mind, causing the boy to scream even more, _"YOU CAN'T HAVE HER! SHE'S A DEVIL! SHE TRIED TO KILL US! DID YOU THINK I WOULD LEAVE YOU TO WANDER FREE!?"_

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Raz shouted, not knowing whether he was answering only in his mind or if he saying the words in the real world as well, "STOP IT! STOP IT! I HATE YOU! STOP IIIIIIITTTTTT!"

"_I'll make you suffer, Raz!"_ The voice was quieter now but like ice that lanced through the young Psychonauts brain, _"I'll lock you away in the darkness and then I'll kill everyone you love! And that'll be the end of it! No one can hurt us ever again! If you love, you get hurt! Suffer!"_

The pain vanished as quickly as it had come, leaving Raz gasping on the floor. Someone's warm arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. He twisted around and threw himself around Lili, still shaking as an aftermath of the pain.

"He's getting dangerous, isn't he?" Lili asked and he murmured a soft yes into her shoulder, "What are you going to do about it?"

He told her.

* * *

Is that considered a cliffhanger or not? Hm, I dunno.

Uh-oh…we're not getting close to the end, are we? What? This early? Already? Raz just got out of the hospital, no way! Then again, if he were to wait any longer I'm sure Rixintine would cause him even more grief.

So I guess we are coming to a close. I'm not exactly sure how many chapters are left but I hope you guess hang around for the end of this thing. It'll blow your mind…right out of your nose.

See you guys around, thanks for reading, please leave me a review, and byes!

P.S. That song's made up, don't go looking for it. Written on the spur of the moment.


	24. The Staff and the Sword

_It's all been building up to this. All of it. The fire…the trauma…the blood…the pain…everything I've fought against Rix for has built up to this moment. Now it's just a matter of…am I really able to do this?

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_

**Twenty-Four: The Staff and the Sword

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**

"We think about tomorrow like we think about now; can we survive it out there, can we make it somehow? …Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round? Will my memories fade when I leave this town?" – 'The Graduation Song' by Vitamin C

* * *

Raz knew that after what had just transpired, he would not be able to get a good night's sleep. He spent the remainder of the day locked in his room; occasionally Lili or Milla or Ford would drop in to check on him but he spent most the time by himself. Everyone aware of the current situation knew that the upcoming confrontation could in very differently from what they wanted.

Rixintine was a boil of hatred and anger that was swollen and inflamed upon Raz's psyche. It physically hurt now, burning with raw energy in his mind, and it took a lot for him to keep Rixintine away from his plans. Not that Rix was all that interested. The alter ego was almost completely focused on tormenting Razputin until the boy cracked. But Raz was through with giving up. He fought back, he pushed Rix aside—whoever much it hurt him to do so—and carried on as though nothing was wrong. It was hard and labored heavily on his conscious but he did it anyway. For himself, for Lili, for Sasha, and for everyone Rix had tried to hurt.

When evening came, Ford mixed the Youngest Psychonaut Ever a strong sleeping medicine and guaranteed that someone would be by his bedside all night, just to be sure. Razputin felt for sure that it worked the next morning as the only thing he remembered during the night was a dreamless sleep. No one said otherwise.

He was all for skipping breakfast until Milla and Lili managed to convince him to sit down and filled his plate. He picked at it, ate about a quarter, and then pushed it away, looking sick.

"Are you going to be okay, darling?" Milla asked, taking the plate away when she saw he wasn't going to eat anymore, "You look awfully pale."

"Yeah," Raz cleared his throat before his voice cracked, "It's just…I got a bad feeling."

"Scaredy cat." Lili teased softly and that got a smile out of the boy. She followed him down into Sasha's lab where Ford was waiting beside the Brain Tumbler. It suddenly looked more ominous than usual.

"Now I don't know as much about this thing as Nein does," The Former Grand Head of the Psychonauts patted the edge of the counsel, "But I'll do my best to keep an eye on you, Razputin. Got your Dream Fluffs and Smelling Salts?"

Raz nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He took a step forward, paused, and then turned around, grabbed Lili in his arms, and kissed her passionately. Both of them blushed but as Raz pulled away, she grabbed his arm and said fiercely,

"That wasn't a good-bye kiss so don't you _dare_ think of it that way!"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Raz replied, "You'd kill me." He chuckled and backed away, heading towards a corner where a pile of boxes and a rolled up blanket stood.

"Rix get you already, kid?" Ford eyed the boy, "Brain Tumbler's over here!"

"I know, I just need…to get something." Razputin nudged the boxes aside and unrolled the blanket. Triskellion fell into his gloved hands and he gave a visible shiver, "As much as I _don't_ want to use this, I think Sasha had the right idea." He spun it experimentally and found it rested well in his grip.

"It suits you." Lili said smugly, from her seat on a red chair, "Now come on, Raz, get this over with and maybe they'll be enough time left to teach the PSI-Cadets some invisibility."

"Are you nuts?" Raz shook his head, squaring himself up against the whirring machine, "Teaching the fan girls invisibility? It's not like I have a death wish!"

Lili said something in return but it was lost as the Brain Tumbler buzzed to life and he pulled his goggles over his eyes. The last thing he saw was her worried and yet hopeful expression before he was pulled into the nexus that was the Collective Unconsciousness.

Through his door, the caravan awaited him, silent and, at the moment, slightly foreboding. He wished it wasn't.

He had prepared for his fight with Rixintine. Over his long sleeved Psychonaut shirt and heavy pants he wore and insulated jacket, a warm scarf was wrapped around his neck, his old, padded helmet (amazing that it still fit, really) covered most of his hair save for a few stray strands, and he wore a pair of boots that were warm but not heavy enough to get in the way of his speed or kicks. Oh yes, and his goggles which were fit snuggly over his emerald eyes.

Raz went through the second caravan door, clenching gloved fists and tugging his jacket tighter around his shoulders as he did so, and then through the tiny hall into the large, icy throne room; it looked dreary and dim, unwelcoming to anything but the darkest monsters. Here, he stopped, took a deep breath, and shouted at the top of his voice,

"RIXINTINE!" It echoed, bouncing around the room, repeating the name over and over, "I'M HERE! WHERE ARE YOU RIX!? SHOW YOURSELF!"

There was a dark and ominous chuckle and the other ego rose out of the floor, the ice rippling like water. He flashed a mocking, triumphant grin, green eyes sparkling despite the disfigurement that marred his face. He was even more grotesque than in Raz's nightmare. The scars and burns on his arms looked infected and flaky; several of them oozed something like puss; his shirt and pants were stained with filth and something that looked like dried blood, his horns had grown larger, his fangs had grown longer, and the Nightmare limbs protruding from his back clawed at the air as though searching for something to tear apart with their pointed fingers.

"Welcome back, Raz," Rixintine's voice was raspy, dark, and deep, sounding more like an adult than a teenager, "I knew you'd return."

"Like brimstone you did!"

"No, really, I did." Rixintine sneered, "I knew you couldn't stand it out there, I knew you'd be back to—."

"Stop it Rixintine!" Raz shouted, breath frosting in the air before him, "I don't need you!"

Rix cocked his head to the side in a way that, had he not been so misshapen, would have been amusing, to say the least. He distorted lips twisted and curled, "You just can't see it, can you?" He pondered, "You didn't come back to stop me. You came back because you found out I was right! No one loves you!"

"SHUT UP!" Raz snarled and Rix backed off slightly, "Bull! That's all bull! I have people out there I care about and they care about me too!"

"Stop fooling yourse—!"

"I told you to shut up! Now it's _my_ turn to talk, Rixintine! It's _my_ turn to lecture!" Raz breathed out slowly, calming himself, "I have people who love me. Dad—."

"Who kept you from being happy."

"Be _quiet_!" Dad, Ozzy, they're my family. Sasha, Milla, Ford, heck, maybe even the Coach! They're all my friends! And Lili…Lili…I'm still in love with her."

"She broke your heart!"

"Only because she was confused about her feelings! I can't blame her for that!"

"Tch!" Rixintine spat on the floor, showing how much he believed the words, "They're all obligated to care! Can't you see that's what I've been trying to save you from!?"

"You just don't get it." A thunder cloud passed over Razputin's face as he shook his head, eyes narrowing behind his goggles, "My friends and family are what keep me going. They strengthen me, give me hope. And it doesn't matter if they hate me or not. I'll _always_ care about them!"

There was a heavy, slightly morbid silence during which the two merely stared at one another. The only things moving where Rixintine's Nightmare arms.

"You know how terribly and heroically cliché that sounded?" Rix snorted.

"Well then, on the verge of sounding even cheesier…" Raz whipped his gloved right hand around in front of him and out so that it was parallel with the floor and the Psitanium staff appeared in an explosion of violet and silver sparkles, "Meet Triskellion, Rixintine!" Raz dropped into a battle stance, "Let's finish this!

"You got that right!" Rixintine launched himself at Raz and the young Psychonaut brought up the staff and blocked the psychic fist, pushing it away and swinging the weapon down to crack upon his adversary's arm. Rix ducked the blow and sent a hail of ice shards raining down upon Razputin, making the boy raise a shield around himself. He dropped the shield and rocketed forward with a short boost from his Levitation ball, aiming the staff at Rix.

Rixintine dodged once more and cackled madly as one of those horrible arms coming out his back racked forward, grabbed the back of Raz's scarf, and threw the boy backwards across the room. Raz slammed against a pillar with a cry of pain and slipped to the floor, struggling to get to his feet as stars danced in front of his eyes. Rix howled with glee and charged across the floor at him. Razputin was still in a daze and, unable to concentrate clearly, was left almost completely venerable.

Almost.

Orange energy swirled to life around him. He subconsciously knew he was in danger and, through he was unable to act, his mentality could defend him. Rixintine tried to stop himself as soon as he saw what was happening but his bare feet slid upon his own icey floor.

An eruption of orange energy sent the alter ego flying, smashing into a pillar—much as Raz had, oh, the irony—and Raz was right on top of him, one end of the staff jammed into the pillar by Rix's neck and his free hand, flickering with pyrokinetic flames, held just to the other side.

"What's your problem!?" Raz snapped, telekinetically pinning his alter ego to the pillar of ice, keeping the staff in its spot, "You say you're doing this for me but it's all for yourself! All of it!"

"That's right!" Rixintine crowed, struggling against Raz's hold, "I wanted to help you at first but then you chose the wrong path! Now you have to die with them, Raz! They all deserve to die! They all deserve to—AHHHHHHHGGG!"

Rix's scream rent the air, surprising Raz and making him leap away, releasing his telekinetic hold. Rix fell to his knees, hands pressed over his neck, over the scars Lili had left on both of them. Smoke seeped out from between his fingers and when he looked up at Raz, dropping his hands, the boy couldn't help but gasp.

Part of Rixintine's neck and up half his left cheek were pitch black and smoldering, pieces flaking off every now and then.

"Fine Raz…" He whispered hoarsely, getting to his feet, "If you want to play that way…that stupid staff can only do so much…"

He crossed his human arms in front of his chest. A column of fire erupted in one hand a torrent of snow, finally forming into two, slim, curved swords, not unlike scimitars.

"Meet my blades, Razputin!" Rix growled, taking a stance.

"What is this? _Devil May Cry_?" Raz scoffed, also crouching into a fighting posture, "Want me order some pizza?

* * *

(nervous laugh) Aheh…cutting off in the middle of fight scene…no, I couldn't have! But I did. Oh crap, I'm going to get killed.

Oh yes, the DMC reference. Ah, I never actually beat any of those games I just think they're flippen' awesome. So anyway, I was watching this preview…trailer…thing that they show if you wait long enough at the menu of DMC 3 and Dante had these swords of fire and ice, it looked like. And I went: "Hey! That's what Rix has! (insert laugh here)" So I couldn't help but make a reference. Who knows, maybe Raz likes DMC.

Aaannnnnyyyyway…

You thought you were going to get the whole fight in one chapter, didn't you? No way. No one's _that_ lucky. Well, actually, I should just talk about how evil I am, huh? X3

Well, thank you guys for reading, please leave a review, stick around for the next chapter, and byes!

Oh my gosh, no pages breaks! O.o


	25. And Now It's GoodBye

I apologize, once again, for the long awaited update. First I got Writer's Block because it's a fight scene and they're the bane of my writing and then I got mixed up in some scholarship stuff that took me a while to do so I'm sorry and I'll try and make this chapter count.

Don't worry though…it should…

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**Twenty-Five: And Now It's Good-Bye

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**

"Dragons live forever but not so little boys; painted wings and giant springs make way for other toys. One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more, and Puff, that mighty dragon, ceased his fearless roar." – 'Puff the Magic Dragon'

* * *

Part of Rixintine's neck and up half his left cheek were pitch black and smoldering, pieces flaking off every now and then.

"Fine Raz…" He whispered hoarsely, getting to his feet, "If you want to play that way…that stupid staff can only do so much…"

He criss-crossed his human arms in front of his chest. A column of fire erupted in one hand a torrent of snow in the other, finally forming into two, slim, curved swords, not unlike scimitars. One was wreathed in flames and the other in icey looking mist.

"Meet my blades, Razputin!" Rix growled, taking a stance.

"What is this? _Devil May Cry_?" Raz scoffed, also crouching into a fighting posture, "Want me order some pizza?"

"Why bother! I'm just going to feast on your mental blood when I've finished with you!" Rixintine bared his fangs in an animalistic way and spun first the fire and then the ice scimitar in quick circles.

"That's just gross." Raz grimaced and then shook himself, "You!" He pointed at Rix, a determined expression on his face as he tried to make himself sound as confident as possible, "You are my own creation! I command you to stop!"

Rix hooted with laughter, never breaking his stance, "Dramatic finger pointing won't get you anywhere, Razputin!" And he launched himself once more at the young Psychonaut.

Raz flung up his staff just in time to catch Rixintine's blades but the clang of them colliding jarred his arms and made his foot slip. Rix twisted the fire scimitar under the staff and jabbed at Raz with it but Raz jumped out of the way and brought Triskellion down in a wide arc. It bounced off the ice scimitar, sparks flying into the air, and, even as Rixintine made for the gap in his defenses, Razputin summoned a ball of psychic energy inside him and unleashed it with a wordless shout of defiance. Fire erupted away from his form and Rix, to close to avoid it, got it full in the face and was sent flying.

Raz gasped as the power seeped out of him; that had taken more energy than he'd thought. He looked up to see Rixintine's conditioned and groaned inwardly. His alter ego was hurt but not as badly as Raz had hoped. The bottom of Rix's shirt had been burned away, leaving horrible shiny burns on his chest, and one of the Nightmare arms had been set aflame and had fallen off to burn to ash on the floor but that was it. Raz definitely felt he'd gotten the worst of it even though it was his attack.

"Come on, Raz," Rix jeered, getting to his feet once more, "I know you can do better than that."

"Oh yeah," Raz grinned in spite of himself, "Then why am I the only one who's armed?" Rix blinked at him and then looked down at his clenched fists. Neither of his blades was there, "Try…over there." Raz pointed up at the ceiling, unable to keep the grin off of his face. Rix's sneer dropped into a look of horror and disgust. There was no way he'd reach those in time, Oh, hey, and Rixintine," The alter ego turned his attention back to Raz, "Nightmare power isn't power enough. You don't know the true strength of the Aquato family!"

Raz raced across the floor, ducked low, and smashed Triskellion into Rixintine's legs before the alternate ego had a chance to react. Rix screamed in agony as the Psitanium bit into his mental flesh and he skidded away, snarling horrible insults at Raz. But the young Psychonaut did not relent; dropping the staff to his side, Raz conjured a ball of fire with pyrokinesis and hurled it at Rixintine. Rix dodged and found himself wedged once more against a pillar and at Razputin's mercy.

But Raz had forgotten about the abomination the Rixintine had become.

The Nightmare arms on Rix's back arced overhead and grabbed Raz, yanking him into the air. With a cry of shock, Raz's fingers loosened and Triskellion clattered to the floor.

"How does it feel to be at the mercy of your own nightmares, Razputin!?" Rix snarled. The Nightmare hands dug their pointed tips into Raz and he cried out in pain, "I could rip your stupid mental self into a bazillion pieces right here and now and there'd be nothing you could do to stop me!" Raz squirmed in Rixintine's grip, yelling wordlessly as the fingers dug deeper into his flesh, "Or how about I suffocate you?" The Nightmare limbs pinned Raz's arms to his sides and one of them clamped it's chilling, scaly hand over his mouth and nose, cutting off his air supply, "Ahahahahaha! Even mental entities need to breathe, Razzie! And your stupid Dreamfluff will just exhaust itself trying to heal you! Aha…ahaaa…ahahahahahaaaaahahahahaha!"

Anger and hatred boiled inside Raz so strongly he felt as though his insides were on fire. His head swam with the lack of oxygen but still he focused on the rage frothing inside of him, letting it grow until he thought it would rip him apart.

He'd had enough of the pain.

He'd had enough of watching people he cared about get hurt.

He'd had enough trauma to last a life time and the scars to prove it.

And he'd had enough of Rixintine.

Behind his tinted goggles, emerald eyes narrowed into thin slits.

_Go freaking DIE!_

Flames leapt into being at Rix's feet, shooting upwards until he was surrounded in a wall of flickering red-orange. Raz was dropped to the floor and gasped, head spinning as air rushed back into his lungs. His hand slipped across the ice and found Triskellion.

The fire danced, reflecting off his goggles as he stood and clenched his gloved hands around the Psitanium staff, ignoring the throbbing pain of his wounds. He could hear Rixintine screaming in agony but waited. There would be a moment, the perfect moment for him to strike, when Rix stumbled from the fire and was too distracted to notice.

The flames roared higher and Rix's screams were drowned out.

This was it.

The climax.

"GOT YOU RAZ!" Torture spun up Razputin's right leg and he collapsed, icey pain spreading across his limb. He flipped himself over and scooted away, the dying fire at his back as it collapsed in a hiss of melted ice.

There stood Rixintine, charred and severely burned in some places but still whole. And now he had his scimitars back. Raz swore and flicked his gaze down briefly to look at the damage to his leg. It wasn't as bad as he thought; Rixintine had stabbed him with the ice blade and the result was an instant of agony and then complete numbness. He could hardly feel his leg anymore.

Grunting with the effort, Razputin pushed himself upright with Triskellion and faced Rixintine again. He had to end this and now before things got even worse. Rixintine chuckled, the horns parting his hair gleaming, and crossed his weapons in front of his chest in a defensive posture.

_Fine._ Raz thought to himself, finding a center of balance where he didn't need to rely on his injured leg, _A good defense is a good offense, right? Fine._

Raz spun Triskellion and swung it through the air as hard as he could. It whooshed through the air, whistling with dark glee as it clanged against Rix's scimitars. The force of the swing sent the two swords spinning out of the alter ego's grip once more. Raz used the force of the spin to bring himself into a roundhouse kick that caught Rixintine in the stomach and sent him skidding across the floor. Razputin conveniently forgot about his injury and crashed into the ice as well. But he was only down for a few moments before the Dreamfluff activated, healed his wound, and had him looming over Rixintine, Triskellion pointed at the alter ego's heart.

"D-don't kill me Raz!" Rixintine whimpered as soon as he realized the predicament he was in, "Come on! I d-didn't—I was t-trying to help!" Tears bubbled into his one good eye, "I just…w-wanted to help you, Raz!"

For a millionth of a second Raz hesitated and then he scowled and raised the Psitanium staff above his head. But he'd dropped his guard in anticipation of victory and left himself wide open. Rixintine grinned and one of the Nightmare arms shot forward and snatched the staff, ignoring the agony that seared from the Psitanium as it eradicated his fingers. He yanked Triskellion from Raz's hold and threw it across the icey floor.

"Got you, Razputin!" Rix snickered and tackled Raz off his feet. Raz fell to the floor with a grunt of pain and kicked out. Rix lost his balance and Raz managed to grab the alter ego's shirt front and throw him aside. Both of them leapt up and glared at one another, daring the other to make a move. Out of the corner of his eye, Raz noticed his weapon glittering innocently and reached out with his mind.

Triskellion wobbled silently into the air and started spinning. Rixintine made a feral growling noise and Raz sent the staff flying towards him. By the time Rixintine heard the whirring sound of the staff coming for him it was too late. Rix let out a horrid, hair-raising howl as Triskellion literally took his legs off. Raz made to catch the weapon in his hand as it flew towards him but the ice under his boots exploded upwards and sent him skidding across the floor. Triskellion was encased in a column of ice.

"That…was…_low_!" Rixintine snarled, clawing his way towards Raz with his shaking hands. The Nightmare arms on his back clawed uselessly at the air, "Low, Raz, low!"

"Not any lower than you!" Razputin retorted sharply, scooting backwards and away form his alter ego until his back hit a pillar, "Give it up, Rix, it's over! You can't fight anymore! Just fade away!"

"Think…I…can't…fight!?" Rixintine pulled himself closer, "Never, Raz…NEVER!"

"You are my own creation!" Raz shouted again and Rix gave a shaky laugh, "I c-command you to stop!"

"Make me!" Rixintine launched himself the last couple of feet and his fingers closed around Razputin's throat, cutting off the young Psychonaut's air supply once more.

_Oh, this is just stupid!_ Raz thought, tugging uselessly at Rix's arms. The limbs on his alternate ego's back rose up and pinned him back against the pillar, _Fighting against my stupid MPD when I should be out training PSI-Cadets or saving the world again! I just…don't have anything left…_

Rix's grip tightened on his neck and Raz's vision spun. When it settled again his gaze caught Triskellion frozen in the ice. That staff was his only chance. As his mind fogged, he concentrated on the two powers that could get him out of his own mind. The heat flowed out of him and was absorbed by the Psitanium. The psychic powered rock grew superheated with the pyrokinesis and the ice was blasted apart, sending dangerous shards through the air. Rixintine whipped his head around but Triskellion was no longer there.

It was hurtling through the air behind Rix, aimed right for the middle of his back.

There was a sickening noise and Rixintine's hands slipped away form Raz's neck. Raz coughed as air whooshed back into his lungs for the second time. His green eyes rose and he gazed at Rixintine. Rix was on his stomach, gasping, a shocked expression playing across his face.

"Ra…R…Raz…" The alternate ego moaned, tears welling into his eyes, "I…I….d-didn't…think…you…could…a-a-actually…" He sagged against the floor, strength failing him.

Raz stood up slowly and walked over, cautious. But the Nightmare arms were lifeless and Rixintine didn't appear to be moving.

"Rix…" Razputin crouched down, pushing his goggles to the top of his hat, "I just…don't get it. Why did you do all that stuff? You must've known I'd get back at you for it."

"I w-wanted…to see you h-ha…h…happy…" Rix gasped, tears streaming from his closed eyes, frame shaking as he cried. The Psitanium staff in his back sparkled and smoked, "I w…wa…wa…was…trying…s-so…hard." He sniffed, "M…m…my own…m-mental…state…broken…be…because of…y-your…heart….ache…" Smoke started billowing from the wound in Rxintine's back and with it came a roar of static white noise. Raz slapped his hands over his ears and winced. He flicked his gaze to Rix as the thick gray smoke started covering everything. His alternate ego's opened his eyes and looked at Raz, smiling weakly. Then his lips moved and, even though Raz couldn't hear him, he knew what Rixintine was saying,

"Forgive me, Razputin."

The choking smoke covered everything and Raz coughed, inhaling a lungful of the stuff. He stumbled to his feet, eyes watering and burning, and ran in the general direction of the door. The floor shook and rumbled and tossed him to the ground. He tried to get up again but the whole room felt as though it was tilting crazily. Raz started crawling on all fours, trying to find the door through the smoke. A huge chunk of ice smashed into the floor just in front of him and he fell back with a cry of alarm.

The castle was collapsing. He had to get out.

Raz bolted through the smoke, throwing up a psychic shield whenever he was in danger of being crushed by falling ice, and eventually found the far wall. He pressed his gloved hands on it, coughing and eyes weeping, and followed it until his fingers found the outline of the door. He was lucky that nothing had fallen in front of it and bared his path.

Raz grabbed the handle, opened the door, and ducked inside. Then he paused for a brief second and looked back over his shoulder but all he could see was the thick, dark smoke that obscured everything. He took a deep, ragged breath, and shouted past the static noise,

"I FORGIVE YOU, RIXINTINE!"

And he slammed the door shut.

* * *

One or two more chapters to go. This isn't the end, not yet. There are still some loose ends to tie up.

Thank you so much for reading, please leave a review, and have a nice day.


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